Archive of Davey Mac Reports!

Hello, friends and neighbors!  This is the archive for some past phenomenal Davey Mac Reports!    Thanks, homies!


Sean O is having a baby!!! (5/1/13)

It’s a very special May First Davey Mac Report and we here at EastSideDaveCountry shall congratulate our friend, Sean O, who today is having his third baby boy!!  His dick must REALLY be hurting by now!!

Just shitting.  Sean O and his wonderful wife are going into labor today!  As a result, we will not be having our episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) this week due to babies and whatnot!!  We WILL be live on Sirius XM Satellite Radio this Saturday, however, sucking and fucking the night away!!

It seems like just yesterday that I myself had two kids (a boy and a girl)…and BOY does my dick hurt!!

Just shittin’.

I love kids.  What with their little hands and feet and all.  They’re especially fun to roll down a hill in a pillow case while they scream, “HELLLLLLLPPPP!!!!!”

The other great thing about kids is how dumb they are.  I mean, kids barely know how to multiply.  Come to think of it, I barely know how to multiply, also…AND I regularly shit my pants…so I guess kids and me aren’t that different, are we?!?!  Bllaaaarrrrggg!!!!

I remember when my wife was in labor with our first child, our little daughter, and she was having a difficult time…or at least that’s what the nurses told me…I can’t say I saw it first-hand…I was watching the Yankees game while eating a roast beef sub in the waiting room.  Hey, I was hungry…don’t fucking judge me!!!

Babies are cute.  Sometimes I would put little ski masks on my babies and go into a bank and say, “Put all your lollipops in a fucking bag…this is a robbery!!!!”

I like it when kids and small animals fight.  I always put my money on the child, because ferrets have no toughness.  Then again, maybe I shouldn’t tie the ferret’s hands behind his back…that’s not exactly fair.

Anyway, it’s a good day to be an American!!

-Dave (5/1/13)