It’s your March Twelfth Davey Mac Report and apparently some people are still pissed at Michael Vick. Vick had to cancel his book tour because there have been multiple death threats against him and book store employees if he goes to one of the locations to signs copies of his autobiography, “Finally Free”. Geez, when are people going to let Vick’s past sins go? I mean, all he did was electrocute, drown, beat, and shoot tens of dogs! I’m sayin’, how do we know that all those dogs didn’t deserve it? I mean, were YOU there? I didn’t fucking think so!! Those 58 dogs could have pissed all over Vick’s kitchen floor! Do you know what kind of mess that would be?! A HUGE fucking mess, THAT’S what kind!! Shit, I once owned a pet guinea pig named Rocky who bit my finger…I detonated his disrespectful little ass with some A-Grade firecrackers that I bought in Maryland!! Fuck YOU, Rocky!! I hope you’re burning in Small Annoying Animal Hell!!!
Wide receiving superstar Anquan Boldin has been traded from the champion Baltimore Ravens to the team they beat in the Super Bowl, the San Francisco 49′ers. He found out about the trade while on a charity mission in Africa. Boldin, along with fellow receivers Larry Fitzgerald and Roddy White, is trying to restore farmland in Senegal. Good for Anquan. I myself do charitable work from time to time. I’m involved in the Drunken Brothers & Sisters Group where I, under the influence of booze (and pills) go to bars and tell people all that I know about the Star Wars trilogy. And wouldn’t you know it, while helping my “charity”, I’ve only been stabbed thrice at two different biker bars!! It feels good to give!!
Lakers center Dwight Howard goes back to Orlando tonight to play against his former team (who he recently badmouthed, by the way). I don’t care for Howard much. Nor do I care for getting marbles stuck in my dick-hole…but I keep shoving them up there anyway…to each his own, is what they say…but “they” were probably drunk when they came up with that phrase…
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to my ulcer, who is causing me insane pain. I wish I could cut it out and feed it to my dog…but then I’d be worried about my dog getting an ulcer, too…and that can’t happen.
Until we meet again, Dave Pound!