It’s your February First Davey Mac Sports Report and because I didn’t sleep last night and am on a lot of pills, and because my brain is still melting from some unknown medieval disease, and because I’m sitting in my dark garage with no shoes on and currently can’t feel my toes, and because I’m contemplating going over to my neighbor’s house and drowning his dog because the fucker will simply not shut the fuck up and there is no fucking reason to be barking, because of all that shit, this is a gonna be a brief Sports Report.
If Ray Lewis cried during the National Anthem of the AFC Championship, what will he do during the fucking Super Bowl? My guess is Ray will grab 49′ers receiver Randy Moss and start eating him live on the air.
If I were to make a movie about the Harbaugh brothers, I’d cast the greatest pair of acting brothers in all the land- the London’s (Jason & Jeremy).
I expect Beyonce to deliver a powerful and sexy half-time performance. I also expect her to bring out a special surprise guest who will in fact be this red-headed journalist who will not be wearing pants and will most likely be jerking off.
If I see ONE more God-Damned commercial with Betty White in it, I’m gonna drive to Hollywood and throw that old woman in the river.
If San Fran QB Colin Kaepernick wins the game MVP, he’ll be the first tattooed Most Valuable Player since Tommy Lee won the award in the 1984 Chlamydia Bowl.
Hopefully we have another exciting Super Bowl…if not…I’ll be more fucked up than Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas.
Prediction #1 : 49′ers – 27, Ravens – 24. Prediction #2: Dave 3, Pukes 7.
Have a great Super Bowl, Dave Pound!
- Dave (2/1/13)