It’s your January Thirty-First Davey Mac Sports Report and 49′ers cornerback Chris Culliver spoke up yesterday about gay people in the NFL: “Ain’t got no gay people on the team. They gotta get up outta here if they do. Can’t be with that sweet stuff.” Then today, after talking with coach Jim Harbaugh, the confused Culliver has since apologized for his remarks.
This Culliver person does he realize that he plays his home games in fucking San Francisco, right?!?! Does he understand that he’s in the fucking neighborhood of such legendary gay activists as Harvey Milk, Danny Tanner, Willie McCovey, Jerry Garcia, the inventor of Rice-A-Roni, and Huey Lewis?!?! Each one of those individuals was gayer than the next!!! San Francisco is the home of TOLERANCE, Chris Culliver. Not SMALL-MINDEDNESS (that designation goes to the planet of Endor…but only because Ewoks literally do have small minds…their brains are reportedly a quarter of the size of a grown German Shepherd). Fuck off, Culliver!!
After Brooklyn Nets forward Reggie Evans said that defending LeBron James is no different than defending fellow Nets Joe Johnson or Andray Blatche, LeBron proceeded to put 24 points on Evans’ head, grab nine rebounds, get seven assists, and keep Evans and his dumb fucking mouth scoreless in the game. But in Evans’ defense, I can kind of see where he’s coming from in comparing LeBron to Joe Johnson and Andray Blatche. I mean, all three players have two arms each after all. Plus, I think NONE of them has a vagina. Furthermore, I think EACH of them is a black man!!! Hey, Reggie Evans, no one knows who you fucking are…shut the shit up!!!
I was watching Ali last night and seriously, the first ten minutes of that movie are fucking brilliant. I’m saying to myself, “This is gonna be the best sports movie ever.” And then the shit just drops out of it. From Will Smith’s, quite frankly, somewhat-out-of-shape boxing potrayal and bad SNL sketch caricature of the great champion, to Jon Voight in the worst Howard Cosell costume I’ve ever seen since, well, John Turturro’s hideous Cosell costume in Monday Night Mayhem (another shit-fest of a sports flick). It honestly was the worst Cosell make-up since I dressed up like Cosell for the “Fourth Annual Howard Cosell Bestiality Convention”. For shame, Ali!!!
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to Phil Mickelson, who shot a 60 in the first round of the Waste Management Phoenix Open. That’s an amazing score for a golfer in his forties. On the other hand, what the fuck is the name of that competition? The Waste Management Open?!?! The PGA tour might as well schedule the fucking Chernobyl Disaster Invitational; or the Exxon Valdez Oil Spill Tournament?!?! Get it together, PGA!!