It’s your December Nineteenth Davey Mac Sports Report and it’s official- Mark Sanchez (the Jets’ eight million dollar quarterback) stinks and will be starting the game on the bench like a piece of poop floating in a toilet bowl, waiting to be flushed. The Jets have announced that the high-priced/overpaid Sanchez will be sidelined for third-stringer Greg McElroy. Meanwhile, Tim Tebow (the rightful BACKUP QB) is reportedly as pissed as a retarded Ewok at not being given the starting job. Tebow commented disappointedly: “I do everything for this fucking organization. ‘Send Tebow off to do this. Send Tebow off to do that. Let Tebow take care of some Mickey Mouse Christian Retreat somewhere! I’m the backup QB and I was STEPPED OVER!!” Upon hearing the remarks, McElroy said: “It’s the way Rex wanted it.” To which Tebow replied: “It’s not the way I wanted it!!!” After the press conference, McElroy had Tebow shot in the head while Tebow was fishing and reciting a “Hail Mary”.
Meanwhile, following Sanchez’s dreadful performance on Monday Night Football, we have learned that the horrible quarterback was threatened on Twitter by a user named “Brave Grancru” who tweeted:
“DON’T COME TO PRACTICE WEDNESDAY I PROMISE YOU BULLETS EVERYWHERE…@Mark_Sanchez”.
He then followed that tweet with: “SANCHEZ BETTER HAVE ARMED SECURITY AT PRACTICE !! YOU THINK IMMA SIT HERE & WATCH THIS BULLS— ??”
Finally, this gentleman tweeted a photo of himself (in a Jets hat, by the way) with the caption: “TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT YOUR KILLER !! WEDNESDAY NIGHT NIGHT…”
Ouch! I would say that this is shocking, but then again, it IS a Jets fan!!! BAM!!! I mean, that’s like being surprised that a Neo-Nazi Skinhead might not hold the door for a Jewish person!!! BOOM!! It’s like being taken off guard that Emmanuel Lewis would be the headliner of a Black Midgets From the ’80′s Convention (especially now that Gary Coleman is dead)!!! THWAM!! It’s like being amazed by Davey Mac farting in the face of a baby!! FLURG!!! J-E-T-S F-A-N-S = A-S-S-H-O-L-E-S! SPLAZZZ!!!
Speaking of Twitter, USA Today is reporting that LSU coach Les Miles is the most popular college football coach on Twitter with over 87,000 followers, some 6,000 more than Notre Dame’s Brian Kelly. It’s good to see such a distinguished newspaper as USA Today concentrating on…oh, I don’t know…fucking BULLSHIT!!! I mean what the hay kind of story is this?! Next they’re gonna be telling me that Joe Torre is the most popular former baseball manager on Instagram!!! Well you fucking LISTEN UP, USA Today!! Unless you report that we can see nipple shots or cock pics of Joe Torre on Instragram, we SHAN’T pay attention to your tedious articles!! Now, it we do get to see said photos, please email us at Didvod@gmail.com!! Thank you!!!
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to the Davey Mac Sports Program!! TONIGHT is our last ONLINE show of the year and we want YOU to join us!! Hang out with Dave, Pepper, Sean O & Roy Shaffer for the Davey Mac Sports Program Christmas And Other Random Holidays Spectacular!! LIVE!! THIS EVENING on USTREAM!! 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!!! See you guys there for some fucked up shit!!