It’s your December Seventh Davey Mac Sports Report and the New York Knicks took the defending-champion Miami Heat last night and slapped them around like a defenseless woman who did nothing wrong; yet she was punched in the mouth by a fucking ogre of a boxer. You need to leave Jake, Vickie. He’s a son of a bitch. He’ll end up breaking into your house and stealing his championship belt so that he can sell the jewels. Then he’ll get arrested for allowing under-age girls to drink in his bar. Trust me, Vickie…I know these things. Then, he’ll try to perform some half-assed nightclub routine which, quite truthfully, was quite poor. You gotta run, Vickie, and take the kids…
The Broncos defeated the Raiders last night- 26 to 13. It was Denver’s eighth straight win. Meanwhile, I don’t know what needs to happen for the Raiders to turn it around. Maybe they need a lost ark to go after. I’m just spit-balling here. Or maybe instead of a lost ark, the Raiders could try to capture some golden-head relic by putting a bag of sand in the relic’s place. But MAKE SURE you have the right amount of sand in the bag, Raiders!! Take a little sand out…little more…now put some sand back in!!! Sorry for yelling!! This is fucking tense!!! OK!! Now take a little more sand out!! And put some more back in!! OK!!! We’re ready to make the switch, Raiders!! Go for it!!
…Shit!!!! I hope you packed your Giant-Boulder-Evading-Boots, Raiders, ’cause it’s go time!!!!
I ate some cupcakes with bacon on them yesterday. However, I ate them against my will, and thus I ate them IN PROTEST. I HATE this bacon craze where everyone feels that they need to put bacon on every food item…and then make bacon-scented candles, cologne, bacon toothpaste, etc. Stop it with the bacon silliness, America. There are plenty of other side dishes to celebrate. Why no love for the sausage? It too is made from the pig. Or what about the hash brown? It’s wonderful! …FUCK BACON…yeah…I said it…fuck bacon right in its delicious ass…
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o who won his fifth and sixth major awards yesterday for outstanding play in college football. I think Te’o is gonna win the Heisman Trophy. I really do. But then again, I thought that I was related to Wesley Snipes…but it turns out he’s black. Oh well…
Have a great weekend, homies!! We’ll see you Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio for the Davey Mac Sports Program XL!!! Tune in to The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!! Peace!!
-Dave (12/7/12)