Archive of Davey Mac Reports!

Hello, friends and neighbors!  This is the archive for some past phenomenal Davey Mac Reports!    Thanks, homies!

 

The Heat lose to the Wizards! Dumbledore ecstatic! (12/5/12)

 

It’s your December Fifth Davey Mac Sports Report and the Miami Heat were beaten by the lowly Washington Wizards last night- 105 to 101.  LeBron James said he was embarrassed by the outcome.  I don’t think losing an NBA game in early December is that embarrassing, LeBron.  Now, getting drunk on Christmas Eve and pissing in your family’s stockings and then walking up to the Christmas tree and “decorating” it with what you call shitsel (shit thrown on the tree to resemble tinsel), and then having the cops haul you away while you have nothing but an empty egg-nog container on your privates, and doing this all when you were 12 years old, now THAT is something to be fucking embarrassed about, LeBron!!!

 

Former Brewer and Hall of Famer Robin Yount pulled a Dick Cheney by sending 150,000 Milwaukee residents into a Middle Eastern war under false pretenses.  Bam!  Political commentary!  …No…actually, all Yount did was shoot his friend and Cubs manager Dale Sveum in the ear with shrapnel while the two were hunting.  Damn…because the former would have been more interesting.  I’m bettin’ that once those sons-of-bitches terrorists would have seen 150,000 cheese-heads running at them, all doing the Aaron Rodgers Discount Double-Check move, they’d go runnin’ for the hills!!!  That’s what you get for trying to take our freedoms, dick-noses!!  Release the cheeeeeese!!!

 

Jets coach Rex Ryan says he will stick with much-maligned quarterback Mark Sanchez to start this week against the Jaguars.  Ryan also says that he’s hungry: “This fucking diet is killing me!!!  Sometimes I look at special teams coach Mike Westhoff and think, ‘Damn, that one-legged old freak sure looks delicious.’  Come here, Mike!  Just give me a little taste real quick…I’m so fuckin’ hungry!!!  Just let me nibble on some Westhoff ass!!!  I’m fuckin’ starved!!!”

 

The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to the Holiday Season…the best time of year!  I specifically like walking around New York City with all the lights and decorations up!  I specifically do NOT like getting detained by the NYPD for suspected indecent exposure (masturbatory actions) on the Rockefeller Center ice-skating rink.  Jingle bells!!

See you homies tonight on Ustream for the Davey Mac Sports Program- the number one independent sports show on the Internet (Riotcast.com, iTunes, Stitcher.com)!!  Peace!!

-Dave (12/5/12)