Archive of Davey Mac Reports!

Hello, friends and neighbors!  This is the archive for some past phenomenal Davey Mac Reports!    Thanks, homies!

 

The Knicks remain undefeated! The Daves remain undefarted! (11/16/12)

 

It’s your November Sixteenth Davey Mac Sports Report and, ladies and gentlemen, the New York Knickerbockers are the ONLY undefeated team left in the NBA.  Down by 12 with seven minutes to play, the Knicks put together a comeback against the Spurs (a team they haven’t beaten on the road since 2003) to win the game- 104 to 100.  The Knicks are BACK, baby.  And I am hard.  I don’t know if it’s that a Knicks team is relevant…or if it’s the four pills of Viagra I took this morning…chased with five tablets of Cialis…mixed with two two hits of Ecstasy…combined with with three tabs of acid…thrown together with some Jack Daniels…after huffing some Ether…and drinking a little gasoline…followed by eating a live hamster…and inventing a sex-robot…and jerking off into the moon…man, I’m fucked up…

 

Meanwhile, the Brooklyn Nets beat the Celtics last night, 102 to 97, to win their fourth game in a row and improve to 5 and 2 for the year.  I’m gonna tell you something, people, basketball is BACK in New York City.  And I’m gonna tell you something else, too- whatever you do, do NOT use your dick as a “bear trap.”  It simply doesn’t catch the bear.  The only thing that happens is that your dick gets fucking bitten off.

 

Oh, by the way, there was a fucking NFL game on last night.  The Bills beat the Dolphins- 19 to 14.  You know why you may have forgotten?  Because no one in America likes Thursdsy Night Fucking Football, NFL AND Roger Goodell, you fucking shit-heads!!!  Great job!!  You have now made an NFL game as irrelevant as Jim Belushi’s second anus!!!  Yeah!!  It’s true!!  Jim Belushi has two assholes!!  He’s a biological miracle!!  But the second one is totally fucking useless!!  No shit…or even FARTS…comes out of it!!!  Talk about a raw deal!!!

 

The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to no one.  I really have to shit.

See you guys Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio for the Davey Mac Sports Program!  LIVE on The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!  Peace!

-Dave (11/16/12)