Archive of Davey Mac Reports!

Hello, friends and neighbors!  This is the archive for some past phenomenal Davey Mac Reports!    Thanks, homies!


The Cards beat the Giants AND their fucking beanstalk!! (10/18/12)


It’s your October Eighteenth Davey Mac Sports Report and the Cardinals took a 2 games to 1 advantage in the NLCS over the Giants with a 3 to 1 win yesterday.  I honestly don’t know how St. Louis does it.  They come back time and time again, they barely make the playoffs, and then they steamroll through the postseason.  And this year they did so after losing their Hall Of Fame manager and Hall of Fame first baseman.  I haven’t been this amazed by a team since the Harlem Globetrotters tried to help Jayson Williams make it look like Williams’ limo driver committed suicide…after it was Williams himself who blew the guy’s fucking head off when Williams was drunkenly twirling a shotgun.  Seriously, how are we still not talking about that story?  I mean, what a crazy-assed, fucked-up party that must have been.  There’s a seven-foot, hammered, NBA star, doing shotgun tricks like he was “Wild” Bill Hickock while the Globetrotters were looking on and a limo driver was eating a sandwich.  Now THAT’S a fiesta!!  The only thing that would have made that scene wilder is if a midget was jerking off in the corner while Fred Savage quoted lines from The Princess Bride and Mike Tyson was taking a shit on the floor!!  PARTAY!!!!!!


The Minnesota Timberwolves’ excellent All Star forward, Kevin Love, has broken his hand in a preseason practice and will be out 6 to 8 weeks.  Maybe he should change his name to Kevin HATE!!  AHH-hahahahahahaha!!!  …Actually…yeah…actually that didn’t make any sense at all…I mean…I’m not sure that was even a proper pun.  It could have been- “Maybe he should change his name to Kevin Love INJURIES!!”  …I mean…while still being a horrendous joke, at least that would have made sense…I mean…the whole “HATE” line was just confusing…I mean…why would Kevin go to the bother of filling out all of the paper work and have to go through all the bureaucratic red tape just to change his ACTUAL last name to an antonym of the word when used in general terms?  I mean…dammit…IT JUST DID NOT MAKE SENSE, DAVEY MAC.


The Yankees – Tigers games was postponed due to rain last night.  Game 4 takes place this evening (the Yanks trail in the series- 3 games to none).  I’m not sure what is going to happen tonight except most likely:

* The Yankees will continue NOT hitting

* A-Rod will fuck some broad/fan on Joe Girardi’s desk because of being benched

* I will masturbate to a bra commercial that is aired on TBS

* Derek Jeter will shit in A-Rod’s hat

* Animals will eat Nick Swisher as he walks up to home plate

* Ichiro will detonate an atomic bomb in Detroit “to get even”


The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to my ass.

A brand new episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is NOW up on and/or iTunes!!  Check it out!!  Adios!!

-Dave (10/18/12)