Archive of Davey Mac Reports!

Hello, friends and neighbors!  This is the archive for some past phenomenal Davey Mac Reports!    Thanks, homies!

 

I went to bed early so I didn’t see the end of the Broncos-Chargers game and whaaaaaaaaa?!?!?!?! (10/16/12)

 

It’s your October Sixteenth Davey Mac Sports Report and hey, you know that Peyton Manning fella?  It turns out that he’s pretty good.  With Manning’s Broncos down 24 to fucking ZILCH on Monday Night Football, Peyton led a comeback (helped by a shitty performance from Chargers QB Philip Rivers) to propel Denver to a 35 to 24 victory over San Diego.  And I missed it.  Honestly, I turned off the game for the NLCS match-up between the Giants and Cardinals.  OK, fine, I’m lying…I was actually watching an old episode of Ancient Aliens.  Oh, who am I kidding…I was watching a soft-core porn flick on Cimenax- Busty Alien Sluts Invade The Planet Breastupiter.  Alright, alright…I was really viewing the very hardcore film Anal Fuck-Bots Who Drink Midge Cum Volume 6…alright, you got me, it was Volume 7.

 

Speaking of the NLCS, the Giants beat the Cardinals last night- 7 to 1.  The series is now tied up at one game apiece.  My prediction- the Giants will win this series in 7 games, and you will give me thirty-five dollars.  You will mail it to:

Dave McDonald

Sirius XM

c/o Ron & Fez Office

1221 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY 10020

You will also include a package of Marlboro reds and a pint of Jack Daniels.  Furthermore, my prediction has you sending me a twenty dollar gift certificate to Burger King and also giving me the Indiana Jones collection on Blu Ray.  Damn, I hope my prediction comes true.

 

The Ravens’ future Hall-of-Famer, Ray Lewis, will be out for the season with a torn triceps.  I’m not 100% sure what a Triceps is but I think it may be one of those cool-looking dinosaurs with the bad-ass horns coming out of his forehead.  In which case, if Ray Lewis actually tore a fucking dinosaur, then he must be the strongest human being that’s ever lived.  The only animal I’ve ever been able to tear was when I tore the leg off a dead frog in sixth grade science class.  Then, I put the leg over my upper lip like it was a little mustache.  Soon after, I was suspended for a week and forced to undergo psychiatric evaluation.  Oh well…

 

The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to the Rockies’ Jason Giambi who is interviewing for the managerial opening that the Rockies currently have.  Jason Giambi as a manager…that would be weird.  Not quite as weird as when I once saw my cousin Dominic working as a male escort.  Nor quite as weird as when my Uncle Harold ordered a male escort…only to get his son, Dominic, as the hooker.  THAT was fucking weird.

Hasta manana, Dave pound!

-Dave (10/16/12)