Archive of Davey Mac Reports!

Hello, friends and neighbors!  This is the archive for some past phenomenal Davey Mac Reports!    Thanks, homies!


A bad call helps the Tigers win Game 2 of the ALCS! Maybe it’s time for fucking replay already!!! (10/15/12)


It’s your October Fifteenth Davey Mac Sports Report and the Tigers beat the Yankees last night, three to nothing, to take a 2 games to none advantage over New York in the ALCS.  But the real story was a controversial call (pictured above) in which a Tiger runner appeared to have been thrown out, ending the inning.  Instead, the second base umpire called the Tiger safe, continuing the inning, and Detroit ended up scoring two more runs.  When asked after the game about the missed call, the umpire stated: “I went to the same school of officiating that the NFL replacement refs went to.  I…I think maybe someone should shut the school down already.  I mean…I am REALLY bad at my job.  I mean, I am downright SHITTY at it!  Once, when I was umping behind home plate, I said ‘Strike Three!’ after a batter was hit in the fucking head by a fastball!  I shit you not!  I stink!  I have no sense of accurate judgment!  I once gave Lindsay Lohan the keys to my liquor cabinet!  That’s SHITTY decision-making!!  I SUCK!!!”


St. Louis took down San Francisco in Game 1 of the NLCS- 6 to 4.  I’m pulling for San Fran because it’s October and the Giants wear Halloween colors.  I can’t wait for Halloween.  I’m gonna go as either a Canadian person who farts too much; or Alec Baldwin if he were to have both of his arms chopped off; or a dog that has been tied to the car and dragged for two miles; or someone who has been spit on by a homeless man; or a giant penis.  I can’t wait!!


The New York football Giants beat down the 49′ers, 26 to 3.  I was impressed with the G-Men.  I hope they were impressed by me as I watched the game in nothing but my Giants sweatshirt and a Giants foam finger on my dicky.  I always watch Giants games bottomless while playing with a Giants Mr. Potato Head.  Some people think I have mental problems, you know.


The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to Packers QB Aaron Rodgers who threw SIX touchdowns in Green Bay’s 42 to 24 dismantling of the previously unbeaten Houston Texans.  Good for you, Aaron.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to add “Aaron Rodgers” to the list of possible Halloween costumes.  Maybe that’s too boring.  I need to jazz it up a little.  OK, I got it, I need to add “Aaron Rodgers if he had a cock growing out of his fore-head and the head of a cow” to the list of possible Halloween costumes.  Good day.

Talk to you homies tomorrow!

-Dave (10/15/12)