Archive of Davey Mac Reports!

Hello, friends and neighbors!  This is the archive for some past phenomenal Davey Mac Reports!    Thanks, homies!

 

Bobby V- OUT! Kevin Kline- IN! (10/5/12)

 

It’s your October Fifth Davey Mac Sports Report and Bobby Valentine has been shipped down from Boston, as the Red Sox fired the 62-year-old manager after one dismal season in which the Sox finished 69 and 93.  Ha!!  69!!!  Hahahahaha!!  Yeah, Bobby!!!  Is that what you like, you pervert?!?!  You like sixty-nining people?!  Hahaha!!  Yeah, Bobby, now put that whip cream on your stomach and rub it!!!  Yeah!!  Hahahaha!!  Oh, you’re fucking SICK, Bobby!!!  Now pour some candle wax on your nipples!!!  Ooooooh, HOT, isn’t it, Bobby?!?!  Yeahhhhh, it is!!!  Now shove this candle up your ass!!!  Oh, Bobby V, you NUTS, dude!!  You NUTS!!!

…anyway, if you’d like more of this, please buy my new porn-flick that I’ve made- Forcing Bobby Valentine To Be Sexxxy At Gunpoint

 

Shaquille O’Neal and Dwight Howard are in a feud.  Shag said that Howard is not a true center.  Howard responded by saying that Shaq is “done” and needs to “move on.”  Meanwhile, this writer is trying to start a feud with fellow sports journalist Mike Lupica.  Hey, Lupica, I asked for your autograph when I was twelve and at Yankee Stadium, and you blew me off.  So you know what I’m gonna do?  I’m gonna dress up as one of ESPN’s Sports Reporters and when we’re live on television, I’m gonna pour a bucket of shit on your little pipsqueak fucking head, THAT’S what!!!  See ya later…pipsqueak!!!  Hahahahaha!!!!

 

Sources are saying that suspended Saints head coach Sean Payton plans on attending the Saints-Chargers game this weekend, in order to support Drew Brees.  If Brees throws a touchdown, he’ll break the all-time record of most consecutive games played in which the QB threw at least one TD (Johnny Unitas and Brees are currently tied for the record at 47 games).  I like Sean Payton’s moxy.  Go back to New Orelans, Payton, and give NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell the fucking finger.  And as an aside, I’m not exactly sure what the word “moxy” means.  I think it’s Jewish in origin.  I always thought it had someone to do with having dried cum on your pants.  You know, as in, “Damn, my jeans are a little moxy today.”  Or…“Geez, Dad, your slacks are REALLY moxy!”  I don’t know.  You know how people sometimes say, “Hey that guy has a good way with words”…yeah…they never say that about me…

 

The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to the St. Louis Rams, who beat the previously unbeaten Cardinals last night, 17 to 3.  And guess what?  I didn’t watch one mother-fucking second of the game.  I’m sorry but Thursday Night Football is officially too much.  It’s like having ten Peanut M&M’s stuck into your dick-hole and trying to fit that eleventh one in.  There’s no room for number 11, baby!!!  There never is!!!

See you guys on Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio for the Davey Mac Sports Program XL; LIVE at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific on The Opie & Anthony Channel!!!  Peace!!!

-Dave (10/5/12)