It’s your September Fourteenth Davey Mac Sports Report and the Packers defeated the Bears last night, 23 to 10, before a live television audience of 16 people. Listen, I love football. But for fuck’s sake I nearly forgot about the game altogether because it’s Thursday in SEPTEMBER!! I was busy watching “Gangnam Style” on YouTube for the eight-thousandth fucking time. I hate to give in to fads or viral videos but dammit is that song catchy. I wish I could have a loop of “Gangnam Style” going around and around in my head via a surgically-implanted iTunes microchip that was inserted into my brain with just that one mother-fucking song on it. For shit’s sake, the Today Show had the “Gangnam Style” guy perform the song TWICE, BACK-TO-BACK, with a commercial break in between and BOTH times I was Gangnam Styling my stupid ass off like I was from South Korea!! Sexy ladaaaaay!!!!!!!!!
John Madden is the latest member of the media to fart on Tim Tebow, saying that Robert Griffin III reminds him of “a Tim Tebow who can pass.” BAM!! CLAM!!! JIZZ-AM!! Just add John Madden to the list of famous people who think that Tebow can’t throw for shit. Here are some of the other quotes:
“Tim Tebow SUCKS BIG FAT DICK…at least, I wish…” – Jerry Sandusky
“Tebow’s passes are shakier than ME!” – Michael J. Fox
“Fuck Tim Tebow. Fuck him right in the ass. Fuck his face. Fuck his ears. Go to Hell, Tim Tebow.” – The Pope
Oscar De La Hoya admitted that he drank booze while training for his fight against Manny Pacquiao in 2008; and that he even got a little liquored up before the actual match itself. Well, I’m glad you got that off your chest, Oscar. I really am. Have you gotten some peace with that revelation? Good. That’s nice to hear…because…I lost two hundered fucking dollars on that fight, you cock-sucker!!!! Now you OWE me that fucking money, pal!!! You hear me, you son of a bitch?!?! I don’t care if it’s a check or 200 dollar bills but I want that fucking money, dick-nose, or you’re gonna fuckin’ get it!!! I KNOW PEOPLE!!! You understand, you piece of shit!?!?! FUCK!!!!
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to Derek Jeter, who tied Willie Mays for tenth all-time on the career hits list (3, 283). Anytime you can say that you’ve tied Willie Mays for anything, you’ve done a hell of a job. I certainly can’t say that. I can say that I’ve tied my high school janitor, Willie Malcolm, for the most times an individual has jerked off under the bleachers…but I’m not proud of that record.
See you guys Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio, for the Davey Mac Sports Program XL, at 7PM Eastern, 4 Pacific on The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105)!!!