It’s your August Thirty-First Davey Mac Sports Report and Andy Roddick has announced that he will retire after this year’s U.S. Open. Good riddance, cupcake. No offense, but Roddick was one of the most disappointing “superstars” ever. He only won the one U.S. Open title…and then NO other majors. But I guess that he did get that Brooklyn Decker broad…so that’s a plus. I don’t know. I have to be honest with you…I am more fucked up than a Samoan at a Bon Jovi concert right now. Shit, I’m more fucked up than Large-Asshole-Larry at the 2012 Spanish Dildo Convention. Jizz, I’m more fucked up than the time I slapped Leslie Nielsen in the head because I mistook him for Phil Donahue (Phil Donahue once raped me). Anyway, adios, Andy!!
A Houston Texans’ fan fell to his death from an escalator last night in Reliant Stadium during a Texans’ preseason game. I feel for the man and his family. That’s a horrible way to go. Me? I’d rather have my life end by being torn limb-from-limb by monkeys who have a bad case of herpes and even worse attitudes. Either that, or I could climb a beanstalk and fall into a Giant’s extraordinarily large toilet bowl where I would suffocate under a humongous piece of Giant-Shit. Or maybe I could be choked out by Regis Philbin. You know…something peaceful and practical…that’s how I want to go out.
Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie says that the team, which has yet to win a Super Bowl in the history of the franchise, needs to do better this year. Well, NO FUCKING DUH, Jeffrey!! And I to stop shitting in my sleep every time I dream about pretty horsey’s but you don’t see ME complaining!!!!
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to Mr. Oliver Stone, who directed the football classic Any Given Sunday; which will be honored by The Davey Mac Sports Program and The Watchers, LIVE, TONIGHT, at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific, on Ustream!!! JOIN US for the cinematic-radio event of the year!!! Peace!!