It’s your July Tenth Davey Mac Sports Report and the Tigers’ Prince Fielder is your Home Run Derby AND early ’90′s braids champion. Seriously, what’s with the hair, Prince? You look like you should be in Color Me Badd, for fuck’s sake! Come on!! You’re a big dude!! That is a very bad look for very thin, usually awful looking people and/or annoying children!! Remember the kid-rap-group Kriss Kross?! Well now you look like THOSE little mother-fuckers, Prince!!!! Or, with the fact that you’re fat, you sort of look like braided Axl Rose!! Welcome to the Jungle, Prince, you chubby bastard!!!!
The Yankees have told Reggie Jackson to stay away from the team after Reggie shot his mouth off like an old asshole, saying that all the modern players who have surpassed him in career home runs don’t really count, since they were most likely on performance-enhancing drugs. He also took several shots at several Hall-Of-Famers, saying that the deceased Kirby Puckett, RECENTLY-deceased-from-a-fucking-brain-tumor Gary Carter, and a few others don’t belong in Cooperstown. Wow!! Reggie really likes taking shots at dead guys!!! Hey, Reggie, do you have any problems with Lou Gehrig?! He died of a horrible disease, too!!! How about Catfish Hunter?!?! His life had a tragic ending!! Why don’t you go to Catfish’s grave and shit and piss all over it!! Or maybe you should just go and kill the Queen, Reggie…that’s all you’re fucking good for!! Oh wait!! You couldn’t even get THAT done!! Frank Drebin foiled you!!! Loser!!!
Adrian Peterson quoted Winston Churchill on Twitter recently when addressing charges that he struck a cop:
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” – Churchill
Meanwhile, the police officer who was allegedly hit by Peterson fired back, quoting another World War II leader:
“I hate black people.” – Hitler
Lastly, this author quoted yet another 1940′s politician last Friday during the Roger Waters concert at Yankee Stadium:
“I’ve drank so much booze and smoked so much pot that my legs no longer work! Haha!!” – Franklin Delano Roosevelt
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to Bo Jackson. Being that tonight is the MLB All-Star Game, let’s go back to 1989 to one of the great moments in All-Star history where football/baseball-playing Jackson hit a crushing home run and won the MVP. I was just a little kid then, but that shit was awesome. I remember being so excited that I even pissed a little in my panties. I probably should not have told you that I urinated myself as a child. I also probably shouldn’t have told you that I wore panties. Oh well.
See you tomorrow, dogsies!!! This week’s episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program (internet version) is now available!!! Get it from RiotCast (our brand new podcasting network) or the usual spot at iTunes!!! Adios, homies!!!