It’s your July Ninth Davey Mac Sports Report and I am one accurate-prediction-fucking-machine. With regards to Wimbledon…what did I tell you? I feel like DeNiro in Goodfellas when he yelled at Johnny Roastbeef over here (“What did I tell you?! Huh?!?! What did I tell you?!?!?!”). Well, if you said, “Sports Master, you told us that Andy Murray, despite the entire United Kingdom including that retarded Royal Family and Cummy Spice being behind him, would choke and lose at Wimbledon,” then you would be correct!!! Now grab yourself a prize from the Dave’s Jizz-Stained T-Shirts Prize Wall. You deserve it!!!
After Yankees first baseman Mark Teixeira said that Red Sox pitcher Vicente Padilla was a “head-hunter,” Padilla fired back, stating: “I think, maybe, (Teixeira) picked the wrong profession. I think he’d be better off playing a women’s sport.” Boom!!! Did you hear that, Tex?! Padilla just said he wants to fuck you like a woman!!! Padilla wants to take your cock, Texy, turn it inside out, shove it up into your body, and fuck it like a pussy!!! Then he wants to jizz in that cock-pussy of yours, Tex!! Finally, Padilla would like for you to squeeze the semen out of your dick-vagina and let it drip into Padilla’s mouth!!! At least, that’s what I took from the quote!! But I have seafood poisoning and I’m drunk!!!
The Home Run Derby is tonight. My prediction- Harmon Killebrew will take down Rocky Colavito in extra innings, 6 to 5, picking up a gigantic sum of two thousand dollars in the process. He will then invest the money in his very own sex toy business- Harmon’s Killer Dildo’s. Congrats, Harmon!!!
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to Bob Kelly & Rob Sprance of RiotCast.com who, with their brilliant vision, have signed up the Davey Mac Sports Program, the most awesome sports show on the internet and on Satellite Radio, to RiotCast.com, one of THE BEST networks out there. Thanks, homies!! Our first show is TONIGHT, LIVE at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!! Check it out HERE.
See ya later, Dave Pound!!!
-Dave (7/9/12)