It’s your July Sixth Davey Mac Sports Report and Jeremy Lin has verbally agreed on a four-year contract worth $30 million with the Houston Rockets. Once the contract is actually signed, the Knicks have three days to match it in order to retain Lin. And word on the street is that the Knicks are leaning away from re-signing him. If the Knicks don’t figure out how to get Linsanity back into Madison Sqaure Garden, this’ll be the biggest disgrace New York has seen since former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani was spotted attempting to give Joe Torre a hand-job during the 1998 World Series. Having barely survived that scandal, Rudy would embarrass himself again by texting Torre cock picks in the 1999 W.S. Hey Rudy, we know you’re a big Yankee fan already, but cool it!!!! Torre has to prepare for the Braves you sick freak!!!!
Meanwhile, the Knicks have made a deal to get a point guard…they’ve signed 111-year-old Jason Kidd. The elderly Kidd says he feels great due to going through a blood-spinning procedure and being the keeper of the One Ring of Sauron. In addition to Kidd, the Knicks are also looking at adding the following veterans to their roster:
* Oscar Robertson
* Coach from “Cheers”
* Regis Philbin
* Moses
* Yoda
* the cast of Grumpy Old Men
* Maude
* Dumbledore
Right now Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic are playing in the Wimbledon semifinals. Federer is up 2 sets to 1, with a three game to none lead in the fourth set. That is all the live, up-to-date coverage I can give you, I guess…well…I suppose I can tell you that I am not wearing a shirt as I write this. Nor do I have pants on. Also, I have a Voltron puppet on top of my groin area. And I am chugging some very old Budweiser. Furthermore, I have not cleaned up some dog shit that my pet Strummer naughtily made near my computer desk…thus my bare feet are touching animal poo. There. Now THAT is serious live coverage.
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to Roger Waters, for going to Yankee Stadium tonight and playing The Wall. And Davey Mac will fucking be there, Roger!!! And David would like to meet you back-stage, Roger!!! And Dave would like to take one of your sweaty shirts and squeeze the perspiration onto his beard, Roger!!! Make it fucking happen, Roger!!!!
See you homies Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio for the Davey Mac Sports Program XL!! LIVE on The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!!! Adios!!!
-Dave (7/6/12)