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Do you believe in ghosts?
a.) Yeah, Dave Man!! I'm fucking one right now!! Yeeeeehhhhaaawww!! (25%)
b.) I do not believe in anything related to the paranormal, David. I'm a skeptic. I do, however, enjoy shoving large needles up a frog's anus. (24%)
c.) I only believe in gettin' HIGH, Diddy Mac!! I'm so high right now, in fact, I'm thinking of blowing up my brother-in-law's bowling alley!! Boom!! (26% )
d.) Ghosts shmosts. I prefer the famed Dildo Monster of New Mexico. (25%)
Fuck to the YEAH!!! The Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is back from a one week sabbatical because of Sean O and his wife having a baby!! Thus, this week's kick-fucking-ass episode is dedicated to ALL babies everywhere, plus the people who make them!! The show is ALSO dedicated to my DICK!!! Get it NOW on iTunes and/or RiotCast.com!!!
AND, listen to the Davey Mac Sports Program XL, LIVE as always, this Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!! Tune to the Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206/XM 103) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!! And make sure you wash your ass!! It's gonna get fucked hard by the monkey!! Peace!!
How was your Cinco de Mayo, homies?
a.) Excellent, Davey Mac! I ended up going back to the orphanage in Mexico that I was raised in and blowing it the fuck up!! Ay caramba!! (24%)
b.) I don't celebrate holidays, David. Instead, I stay at home and jerk off to March of the Penguins. (23%)
c.) I had an AWESOME time, Dave Man!! I dropped acid and tied my dad to a chair and painted his face like clown! (26%)
d.) I just farted a lot... (27%)
Because our buddy Sean O and his wonderful wife are having a baby TODAY, there shan't be an online version of the Davey Mac Sports Program this week!! HOWEVER, Davey Mac and Pepper WILL be doing the Davey Mac Sports Program XL on Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!! LIVE on the Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206/XM 105) at 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific!! Bring the sucks!! Bring the FUCKS!! Let's get so liquored up on Saturday that we seriously injure two random marmots of our choosing!! See you then!
It's a really nice day out. What do you plan on doing?
a.) Robbing (24%)
b.) Farting (25%)
c.) Poisoning (25%)
d.) Reporting this poll to the police ASAP!! (26%)
Have you ever wanted to eat your pet?
a.) No, Dave Man...but I have wanted to piss on my former grade school gym teacher, Mr. Churtle. Too bad he's dead!! (24%)
b.) Sometimes I get the urge to put a WHAM! song on, David, and cut my therapist's toes off... (25%)
c.) I enjoy eating mittens. (26%)
d.) This poll has gotten too weird for me, Dave. I'm gonna leave and do something normal...like tying my penis to a chair and setting them both on fire. (25%)
Oh yeah, daddy!! This past Saturday's mother-fucking EPIC Davey Mac Sports Program XL on SiriusXM Satellite Radio is available here- http://www.struff.com/vbulletin/showthread.php/72442-Davey-Mac-Sports-Program-XL-4-20-13-live-show-MP3-download AND also in the SiriusXM On Demand section!! The show was an insane one as it was a special 4-20/Boston Tribute episode and was more fucked up than seeing a monkey giving your uncle a blowjob!! It was crazier than Oasis' Gallagher brothers putting M&M's in each other's asses!! It was more INSANE than letting a leprechaun date-rape a unicorn!!! It's a classic episode and YOU need to hear it!! Go to http://www.struff.com/vbulletin/showthread.php/72442-Davey-Mac-Sports-Program-XL-4-20-13-live-show-MP3-download and/or the SiriusXM On Demand section for the shit!! Peace!!
How was your 4-20, dogsies?!
a.) Awesome, Dave Man!! I got so damned high that I killed my whole family!!! ...Now that I think about it...maybe I got too high...does anyone know where I can hide from the police for a while? (28%)
b.) I do not smoke marijuana, David. I do, however, ingest cum that I manually jack out of the dick of a porcupine. (22%)
c.) My 4-20 ROCKED, Davey Mac!! I was so weed'ed out that I ended up shitting in my grandmother's candy dish and forcing her to eat it at gunpoint!! (29%)
d.) I missed it!! I was in a coma that day because of entering the 28th Annual North American Drop An Anvil On Your Head Convention!! Shit!!! (21%)
Oh, YEAH, dogsies!! The Davey Mac Sports Program will be delayed a day and shall NOT go up on Wednesday night/Thursday morning (as per usual)...but instead will be available on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes on Thursday night/Friday morning!!! The reason? The Dave Man has some sort of leaking dick issue that he has to deal with...THAT'S the fucking reason, you nosy sons of bitches!! Anyway, subscribe to the show on iTunes and enjoy the shit out of it later!! Peace!!
It's REALLY fucking warm today. Almost too warm.
a.) It's better than having a frozen jizz-pop stuck in your ass!! Ahhh-blah-blah-blah-hidey-hey!!! (26%)
b.) I, too, detest overly warm climates, David. I only like it when it's 64 degrees outside and I'm sticking needles into a kitten's eye balls. (24%)
c.) This weather is so nice I feel like dressing up as a nun and fucking the shit out of my blind barber!! (27%)
d.) My dick hurts. (23%)
That's right, Dave Pound!! The Davey Mac Sports Program XL chews the DICK off Sirius XM Satellite Radio on Saturday!! Tune in to the Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206/XM 105) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific for the shit!! Topics shall include:
* Masturbating- why you shouldn't do it while waiting on line at the post office
* Famous Hollywood psychologist, Dr. Hugh Mickle, discusses his new book- Sometimes I Feel Like Taking An Old-Timey Mallet And Smashing My Wife's Head In Like A Grapefruit...Does Anyone Know Gallagher's Phone Number?
* America's greatest country singers, the Punty Sisters, talk about the time they filled the Dixie Chicks' purses with poop
* We'll give you the top eight farts in sports history!
* And talk show host Denny Chump chats about his new show- "My Dick Just Fell Off"
See you on Saturday!!
I performed more stand-up comedy last night. And I shit all over the stage.
a.) Good for you, Dave Man. At least you didn't blow up any animals this time! (26%)
b.) I don't really like comedy, David. Instead, I prefer lighting my dick on fire. (24%)
c.) I was there, Davey Mac, and you KILLED!! I laughed so hard I ended up assaulting two homeless guys afterwards!!! (27%)
d.) I, too, was there, Dave...and the experience was like an evil robot fucking me in the ass with his razor-droid-cock. (23%)
I made my own banner with some HBO "Game of Thrones" app. Check it.
Oh, YEAH, sweet knees!! The Davey Mac Sports Program XL ANNIHILATED Sirius XM Satellite Radio with help from Dave's legendary band- The Cuertos!! The Cuertos performed six songs over the course of two glorious hours that were so spectacular that people wept, elephants cried, dicks exploded, pussies inverted, dragons puked fire, and dwarves grew three feet!! And YOU can download it NOW from the Sirius XM On Demand section!! Feel the magic, homies!! Peace!!
Sometimes, I get the urge to put my dog in the microwave and then eat her. Is this normal?
a.) I'm calling the police as we speak, Dave Man, you sick bastard!! (26%)
b.) Well, David, sometimes I get the urge to put poop on my eye lids...so who am I to judge? (24%)
c.) Do whatever makes you happy, Davey Mac!! Especially if that includes sucking off a turtle!! (27%)
d.) I once fucked a jelly doughnut. (23%)
Oh, YEAH, honey-buttons!! Take your pants down and put some carrot sticks in your ass 'cause this week’s disturbing episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is NOW up on on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!!! Listen as the guys play two, brand new, never-before-heard songs from the new album by Sleeves and Roy Shaffer!! Hear the excitement as Davey Mac talks about killing three people!! Enjoy the entertainment as Sean O suffocates an elderly man!! It's all here- the romance, the violence, the jizz, the farts, the love, the the hate, the dicks- on THIS week's spectacular episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program!! Available (for free) on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!!!
What do you think of me?
a.) You're a swell guy, Davey Mac...a swell guy who I'd like to put a billiards stick up his ass!! (25%)
b.) You still owe me twenty-six dollars for eating my dog, David. (24%)
c.) I think you're awesome, Dave Man!! You should treat yourself to a nice rapin'!! (26%)
d.) When I see your face, Dave, I sometimes vomit on my baby. (25%)
What kind of April Fools' Day jokes have you played?
a.) I once glued Option B's dick to a dead porcupine. (26%)
b.) What?!?! That was YOU, Option A?! (23%)
a.) Fuck yeah, asshole. Oh, and also...I killed Option B's parents. (27%)
b.) I'm calling the fucking cops!!! (24%)
Should I get a new pet? If so, what kind?
a.) You should buy a pet cobra, Dave Man!! And if he should bite you on the dick, go to a hospital and ask one of the nurses to suck the poison out!! That's what I do...and I don't even own a snake!! (24%)
b.) I think you should adopt a baby, David. Preferably, one with three eyes. (23%)
c.) Animals are cool...but pot is WAY better, Dave Man!! Smoke it up, dawg!! (26%)
d.) I can't concentrate on this poll question, Dave...someone just shit in my mailbox...ok, fine, it was me... (27%)
I'm watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit right now. Did you just love that movie?
a.) Never saw it, Dave Man!! I did see, however, Who Jizzed On Patricia Pussy. Yowee zowee!! (21%)
b.) I don't watch films, David. Instead, I enjoy making jig-saw puzzles out of my own feces. (23%)
c.) I viewed it in the theater and I LOVED it, Davey Mac!! Especially the part when I was coked up out of my mind and started snorting popcorn!! (36%)
d.) I wish I could eat a bunny. A real bunny. I've ALWAYS wanted to eat one. (20%)
