Archive of Davey Mac Reports!

Hello, friends and neighbors!  This is the archive for some past phenomenal Davey Mac Reports!    Thanks, homies!


Arrested Hernandez! (6/26/13)

It’s your June Twenty-Sixth Davey Mac Report and, oh daddy, it’s a bad day for Aaron Hernandez.  The New England Patriots’ tight end has been arrested in connection with a man who was killed near (or in) his home last week.  Then, about an hour and a half later, Hernandez was released by the Patriots (via Twitter) because, let’s be honest, it’s tough to have a convicted murderer on your team’s roster.  Not that Hernandez has been convicted of anything yet…but damn, this shit looks bad.  All the surveillance footage in Hernandez’s house was destroyed.  His phone was broken into a million pieces before he gave it to police.  He called a professional cleaning crew over to his home after the victim was killed.  And, quite frankly, he wears his shorts too long.  I mean, look at that photo above.  Those are shorts, people.  Those go beyond being simply “baggy”.  Those are, I hate to say it, thuggy-looking.  If I was on a jury, I’d shout “guilty” at that meat-head just for the fucking shorts.  And why are his arms not in the sleeves of his t-shirt?  Was he doing some sort of weird magic trick when the cops came in to get him?  It’s just all too fucking strange and the Dave Man says, “He did it!”  I know we live in a society where one is innocent until proven guilty, but we also live in a society where some little idiot named Honey Boo Boo could become President if she chose to.  We live in a fucked-up culture and I’m telling you- this Hernandez chap murdered that poor son of a bitch.  Anyway, I’m gonna go have a Steakum and watch Duck Dynasty.  Peace.

-Dave (6/26/13)