It’s your June Thirteenth Davey Mac Report and we have only a few words to say today because we are sick with the shits. If LeBron James doesn’t stop playing like a pussy and turn it up in Game 4, then not only is this series over, but his fucking legacy will be worse than O.J. Simpson post-Naked Gun 2 and a half and that other little incident that O.J. is famous for. I think it’s those bad car rental commercials. Thus far in the NBA Finals, LeBron James (and I’m going to say this very articulately and poignantly) has sucked elephant dicks. He won’t take any three-pointers, he barely takes two-pointers, he steers entirely clear of the MTV Rock ‘N’ Jock 25-pointer, and won’t even touch the Hunts Pointer. He looks to be scared. I am personally calling on LeBron to take over this fucking game (mainly because I predicted the Heat in 7 on Sirius XM Satellite Radio and this man is making me look stupider than I usually am). LeBron, you better go out there, score 35 points, and lead your team to victory tonight or you will NOT be invited to my birthday party. Good day.
- Dave (6/13/13)