It's your April Seventeenth Davey Mac Report and the sports world has lost one of its greatest voices. Pat Summerall has died at the age of 82. Summerall was most known as being one half of the greatest football (and possibly sports, in general) broadcasting teams in Summerall & (John) Madden. When I think of Pat Summerall, I think of being a kid, watching football on a late Sunday afternoon, heading into Sunday evening, with a pot roast and mashed potatoes cooking in the background. I think of older relatives yelling at the TV at some crazy play that just happened between two great teams (usually from the NFC East). I also think of wetting my pants while I was brushing my teeth...the horror of Colgate and urine simultaneously running down my legs. I furthermore think of killing my goldfish Leonard by putting him in the microwave on HIGH for nine minutes. I lastly think of accidentally farting while serving as an altar boy. God speed, Pat Summerall!!
Rumor on the street is that Phil Jackson is "itching" to get back into the NBA. I'm also itching...but mainly for chlamydia parasitic reasons. I should never take matresses that I find on the street in Hunts Point, Bronx and sleep naked on them while masturbating to I've Got Crabs magazine.
We haven't written an article since last Friday so we should probably spend a second on the Masters...
...Adam Scott won the Masters.
There.
Mike Piazza will act onstage during a performance done by the Miami City Ballet. Good for Mike. He's not embarrassed to show that he's a cultured man...a blonde high-lighted, porn mustached, perm hair-do'd, cultured man.
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to the cast of HBO's Game of Thrones...if you're reading this, cast of Game of Thrones, I fucking love you people...and am seriously considering stalking you...um...forget about that last part...thanks...
Programming note for the Davey Mac Sports Program: this week's online episode will be delayed one day; which means it will be available on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes on Thursday night/Friday morning!!! See ya, homies!
-Dave (4/17/13)