Archive of Davey Mac Reports!

Hello, friends and neighbors!  This is the archive for some past phenomenal Davey Mac Reports!    Thanks, homies!


Bring on the Madness, mother-fuckers! (3/18/13)

  Final Four

It's your March Eighteenth Davey Mac Report and the 2013 NCAA Tournament is here, daddy, and we are fucking excited.  Louisville, Indiana, Kansas, and Gonzaga are the number one seeds.  The games start Thursday.  I am seriously so enthused that I can barely sleep.  In fact, I've been up for 52 straight hours...but that's probably got more to do with the Methamphetamines that I'm cooking and ingesting in my garage.  The more that I think about it, maybe I'm not excited at all for the basketball.  Maybe...just maybe...I'm actually simply jittery from the Meth Madness tournament that I've entered.  I'm almost ready- I've got white powder on my face, two shotguns loaded, and an assortment of shady cohorts who promise to get me to the finish line.  Bring on the Madness!!

MadnessDave and Pepper bar


By the way, if I was to choose one rock group to represent this time of year in the sports world, it would be the ska band Madness...mainly because they have the word "Madness" in their name and I am drunker than Boris Yeltsin in a Smirnoff factory.  I think it's probably left-over alcohol poisoning from this killer St. Patrick's weekend-long celebration.  I don't know if I should tell you this, but I'm pretty sure I murdered a homeless person at some point.  I don't know...I was pretty blacked out.

Dave and Pepper - pissingDave and Cousin BrucieDave in Limo


The Miami Heat have now tied the 2007-08 Rockets for the second-longest winning-streak in NBA history at 22 games.  The '71-'72 Lakers have the record at 33 consecutive victorious games.  What do you think the chances are of the Heat breaking the Lakers' streak?  I say about 40%.  However, I think the chances are 100% that I just defecated in my pants a little, thinking it was a fart.  Well it was not, my dear readers.  It...'twas...shit.



The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to the people who made the ESPN documentary "Survive And Advance"...the story of the 1982-1983 North Carolina State Wolfpack who shocked everyone by winning the 1983 NCAA Tournament, led by coach Jim Valvano.  It's a great special, and I strongly urge you to check it out.  I also recommend the film "Alien Wives With Big Tits Who Suck Human Goo", which is a movie that is currently playing on  Thank you.


See you homies later!!

-Dave (3/18/13)