It’s your October Twenty-Sixth Davey Mac Sports Report and the Tigers are in some serious shit now, homies. The Giants beat Detroit in Game 2 of the World Series last night (2 to 0) and with the win have now taken a two games to none lead over the Tigers. AND, San Francisco has their two best pitchers going in Games 3 & 4. Yeah. The Tigers are definitely in some serious (as legendary porn director Jack Horner would say) doggy doo-doo. That Jack Horner- he had a way with words. I remember the time he eloquently told a young Dirk Diggler before one particularly difficult scene- “Cum on her tits, Dirk.” Fine direction indeed. And then there was the day he asked Becky Barnett why she needed to clean her vagina. Though Barnett answered succinctly (“You want it clean, don’t ya”), the point had been proven- Jack Horner was the Man In Charge. And they fucking knew it.
Meanwhile, the greatest closer of all time, Mariano Rivera, has informed the team that he is considering retirement. You better not fucking retire, Mo. I can’t live without ya, pal. Shit, Mo, I “consider” shoving my dick into a power-washer every time I see one…doesn’t mean I have to do it. I mean, I “consider” kid-napping Ryan Seacrest and shaving his pubic region live on YouTube…but I re-think my position. Damn, Mo, I often “consider” gluing a hand-gun to a monkey’s paw and then asking the monkey to shoot my landlord. But you haven’t seen anyone get shot in Asbury Park, New Jersey, have you? …OK, bad question…
In an NFL Players’ Poll conducted by Sports Illustrated, Jets starting QB Mark Sanchez was voted (along with Tony Romo) the second most over-rated player in the NFL. The most over-rated? Sanchez’s BACKUP- Tim Tebow. Wow!! Congrats, Jets!! Your shitty organization has TWO Quarterbacks in the Top 3!! Sure, it’s the Top 3 most over-rated players in the league, but who gives a fuck, right?!?! You grabbed some headlines!!! You have some people talking about you now!!! Who fucking cares if they’re chatting about you NEGATIVELY!!! It doesn’t fucking matter, right Jets!?!? You’s gots da Buzz, baby!!! Throw a fucking parade for yourselves now and give Rex Ryan another piece of mother-fuckin’ cake!!!
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to the ancient Egyptians who invented the calendar and thus the FUCKING WEEKEND. I gotta go get my highin’ on!! Peace!!