Archive of Davey Mac Reports!

Hello, friends and neighbors!  This is the archive for some past phenomenal Davey Mac Reports!    Thanks, homies!

 

The Olympics are HERE!!! (7/27/12)

 

It’s a very abbreviated July Twenty-Seventh Davey Mac Sports Report because I have slept very little this week and I need to get out of here.  There is shit in my underwear and I think some bugs are crawling on my neck.  I am sweaty and I didn’t shower because power went out last night in our house and we also lost hot water.  I don’t know what kind of fucking electric company we’re using but I think it’s called New Jersey Power-Goes-Out-When-A-Fucking-Fly-Sneezes Electric Company.  I can’t take it anymore.  We’ve lost power in our home sixteen times since November.  What the fuck is this?  Who do I have to fart on to get my God-Damn electricity to work properly?!?!?!  Huh?!?!?  ‘Cause I’ll do it!!!!!!  I’ll fuckin’ fart!!!!  I’ve got my pants down as we speak and I’ll fuckin’ fart up a storm, Heavens-to-Betsy!!!!  Don’t test me!!!!

Anyway, the Olympics begin tonight with the Opening Ceremony on NBC at 8 PM Eastern.  I’m so psyched!!  My favorite events include:

* The 400 sprint

* Women’s Beach Volleyball

* Men’s Mountain Dickball

* Troll’s Under-The-Bridge MissingTeethball

* The 800 Cum Toss

* Dynamite Suck

Are you guys excited?  I hope so.  I like seeing you excited.  Not in a sexual way…ok, fine…in a sexual way.  Anyway, let’s rock these fucking Olympics!!!  And remember- the Davey Mac Sports Program XL is LIVE on Sirius 206, XM 105 on Saturday at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!!!  Have a great weekend!!!!

- Dave (7/27/12)