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What actor would YOU choose to have portray me in the thrilling movie of my exceptional life story?
(options pictured below)
a.) Eric Stoltz (19%)
b.) The red-haired guy from Modern Family (21%)
c.) Red-headed Brendan Fraser in Bedazzled (22%)
d.) Fat Bastard (18%)
e.) The Red Freak-Monster from Looney Tunes (20%)
Mike Francesa (pictured below), radio host at WFAN in New York City, has a large head. Do you agree?
a.) Yes. It looks like his head is slowly eating the rest of his body. (27%)
b.) I can't make a judgement on the head due to that very WIDE body!! Boo-ya!! (26%)
c.) I just pissed my pants. (23%)
d.) I wonder how big his dicky is...yowza! (24%)
Yeah, Dave Pound!! The "greatest show on Sirius XM Satellite Radio" (according to a retarded man named Alfred), the Davey Mac Sports Program XL, is NOW up in the On Demand section!! Listen to us bounce on Mike Francesa's fat stomach; hear us engage in biological warfare; observe us chopping off several dicks at the Super Bowl party; witness us inappropriately rubbing Cousin Brucie's thighs; and MORE! It's the BEST sports show in the world!! Hear it NOW, mother-fuckers!! It's the Davey Mac Sports Program XL on The Opie & Anthony Channel!! In the Sirius XM ON DEMAND section!! Let's fart!!
How bad were you hit by the blizzard over the weekend?
a.) We got NOTHING where I live, Davey Mac!! Thus, I spent most of the day outdoors, jamming fire-crackers into my ass!!! (26%)
b.) I wasn't affected too badly by the weather, David. We got six inches...of cock!! Wooo-hooo!! (24%)
c.) We were completely snowed in, Dave Man!! At least, I think we were!! The last thing I remember was drinking moon-shine and dropping acid and for some reason feeling warm under the snow-flakes!! Yowza!! (23%)
d.) The blizzard was the least of our worries, Dave. Our insane neighbor ate LSD and drank home-made booze and lit our house on fire. (27%)
Yeah!! You fuckin' heard right!! FUCK the blizzard in its large, white ass. David and Pepper are coming in to the Sirius XM Satellite Radio headquarters in New York City to do the show- LIVE!! Go ahead, Jack Frost, suck our fucking cocks!! We hit the shit at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific, on The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105)!!! Yeah, that's right!! We're gonna jizz all over Mother Nature's fat tits!!! Like those assholes the Perfect Strangers, ain't NOTHIN' gonna stop us now!!!
They say a blizzard is gonna hit the Northeast. Are you prepared?
a.) Fuck yeah, Davey Mac!! I have shovels! Lime!! Duct tape!! And a machete!! Everything one would need to bury a body, I mean, be safe from the snow!! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go into the woods!! (26%)
b.) I don't worry about things I can't control, like weather, David. What makes me nervous is bleeding out when I've stabbed myself in the dick-hole too hard. (24%)
c.) I can't WAIT to make cum-angels in the snow, Dave Man!! (25%)
d.) I just hope my car doesn't break down while I'm driving to the store for milk and bread and porn and guns and poison and smurf dolls and dynamite and fart-cushions and naked pictures of Dan Fouts. (25%)
Oh, FUCK YES!! This week's spine-tingly Davey Mac Sports Program Super Bowl Recap is now available on iTunes! Subscribe to the show now! Or check it out on RiotCast.com!!! Lots of shit too fucked-up to talk about here happens!! OK, ok, we'll give you one teaser- at some point, someone stands up and shoots Pepper at point blank range. There. No big deal. Listen to the show now by subscribing to the Davey Mac Sports Program on iTunes!!!
AND, hear our movie show- The Watchers!!! It's our highly-entertaining broadcast that discusses movies and Hollywood and showbiz and shit!! Available via subscription on iTunes and/or Stitcher.com!!!
Bam!! Two Davey Mac's!! Two new shows!! And two poops!! All for YOU!!! Peace!!
Who farted? (pictured below)
a.) Me (17%)
b.) You (19%)
c.) The President (21%)
d.) Dom (22%)
e.) Kenny (21%)
Oh, yes, dogsies!! It's Wednesday!! And you know what that means!! Besides being Fart Time...it's the Davey Mac Sports Program!! LIVE on Ustream!! Go to the East Side Dave Happy Times Channel on Ustream at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific, for the show voted Best of 2012 by the iTunes Editorial Team!! We're gonna rock hard and fast!! And definitely in a NON-sexual manner!! We didn't want to imply any kind of sexual manner...but we are gonna caress the SHIT out of this episode and feel it up and down and in and out!!! Oooooh yeaaaaahhhh!!! But we're not implying anything sexual!! No!! 'Tis not what we are doing!! We are simply saying that we are gonna fuck the shit out of this show and cum all over its face!!! But NOT in a sexual manner!!!! See you this evening!!
I've lost over twenty pounds since Christmas. Why is this happening?
a.) You should start drinking some milk-shakes and cease fuckin' your dog, Davey Mac!!! (22%)
b.) I, too, have lost some weight, David...mainly because I've been injected my ass with nuclear rabbit semen. (24%)
c.) Maybe that's a good thing, Dave Man!!! Now we can finally go tandem hang-gliding-and-high-bear-hunting together!! You bring the hang-glide, I'll bring the LSD and machine gun!! (28%)
d.) Stop eating AIDS babies, Dave. (26%)
How did you like the Super Bowl?
a.) It was fuckin' great, Davey Mac!! I did so much acid that at one point I'm pretty sure Beyonce's head morphed into the football and Ray Lewis punted it out of the fucking stadium!!! Touchdown!! (26%)
b.) I didn't watch the game, David. I was too busy dressing up my rabbits like little priests so that they could molest mice they I had dressed up as little kids. (24%)
c.) I loved it, Dave Man!!! I drank so much turpentine that I only strangled three bus drivers!!! Yeeehhaaww!! (27%)
d.) Fuck! I thought the Super Bowl was THIS Sunday!! I really need to stop lighting my day-planner on fire every time I smoke angel dust!! (23%)
That's right, cheetohs!! The Davey Mac Sports Program XL has brand new material coming straight at you on Super Bowl SATURDAY on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!! Tune in at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific to The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105) for the show!! We're gonna have booze!! Guns!! Wagers!! Anger!! Prostitution!! Hemp-constructed footballs!! Home-made bombs!! Store-made knives!! Poisoned snacks!! And MORE!! It's a Super Bowl Special you MUST hear!! We'll see you saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!! Peace!!
The Super Bowl is this Sunday!! What do you have planned?!
a.) I'm gonna probably drive to the deli before kickoff and blow the place to fucking HELL with dynamite I found in the woods, Davey Mac!! Those sons of bitches still owe me money from betting on last year's game!! (25%)
b.) I don't like football, David. I prefer sitting at home and stapling little brushes to the heads of mice so that it looks like they have mohawks. (26%)
c.) I'm so psyched for the Super Bowl, Dave Man!! I usually get so drunk and whacked out on PCP that I end up slitting two to four neighbors' throats!!! Yeeehhaaww!! (24%)
d.) I just hope it's a close game. And I also hope I can somehow get my dick out of this jar of needles. In full disclosure, I should never have super-glued it there in the first place. (25%)
Oh, yes, good kiddies!! This week's episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program is now up RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes to be downloaded (for free) and sucked on!! It's a Super Bowl Special and it hits harder than Carlo Rizzi smacking Connie Corleone around even though she cooked him dinner for fuck's sake!! I mean, she had JUST made Carlo his fucking supper!!! And NOW he wants to go out on the town?!?! I don't fucking think so, Carlo!!!
Anyway, we give a Super Bowl musical medley that MUST be heard!! We talk Harbaugh brothers!! We accuse one another of cheating and drug abuse!! Six midgets get shot in their asses!! A donkey is thrown off the roof of our studio in the heart of Times Square!! And MORE!! Go to RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes for the shit!!!
Who is the worst villain of all time? (pictured below)
a.) Adolf Hitler (18%)
b.) Osama Bin Laden (17%)
c.) Petey Von Peekums (20%)
d.) Ivan Chunkoluv (22%)
e.) Ellen Degeneres (23%)
We apologize for starting off this post in such vulgar fashion, but grab your dicks and pussies and bring them THIS EVENING to the East Side Dave Happy Times Channel on Ustream for the Davey Mac Sports Program!! LIVE at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!! It's the show that got "East Side" Dave McDonald banned from all future cub scout meetings across America!! It's the program that forced Chris "Pepper" Stanley into hiding from Colombian drug lords!! It's the broadcast that made Sean O cover his head with mayonnaise and proclaim himself to be "Cream Man". And it's the event that gave keyboardist Roy Shaffer finger herpes!! Tune in this evening at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific, to the East Side Dave Happy Times Channel on Ustream for the Davey Mac Sports Program!! Shitties!!!
It's only a few days until Groundhog's Day!! Wooo-hoooo!!! One of my FAVORITE holidays of the year!!! What do you have planned?!?!
a.) Are you serious? (24%)
b.) Jack and shit. (25%)
c.) I'm gonna watch the Billy Murray movie and jerk off on your head. (26%)
d.) Fuck off, loony tunes. (25%)
Today I get my MRI and EEG results from my neurologist, Dr. Song, after suffering from head pains. What do you think he'll find?
a.) Knowing you, Davey Mac, he'll probably find a poo-covered R2D2 toy stuck in your cerebellum!! Yeeehhaaw!! (24%)
b.) I think you should definitely be worried, David. I read recently in LSD Magazine that having intercourse with inanimate objects causes brain cancer. Goodbye, David. (26%)
c.) You'll be fine, Dave Man!! I did some tests on you while you were sleeping last night and you're strong as an ox...sure, a dead ox that has perished due to skull-eating lice...but who cares about the details anyway?! Incidentally, my tests also found that you have the sperm count of a sterile midget. Good luck! (27%)
d.) Just stay positive, Dave, and try NOT to fart in the waiting room...AGAIN!! (23%)
Hey, homies!! This past weekend's fuck-tastic Davey Mac Sports Program XL will be available in the Sirius XM Satellite Radio ON DEMAND section on Monday!! Listen to East Side Dave and Pepper talk about the Super Bowl; hear Dave destroy Mike Francesa; witness Dave confess very unholy sins; observe David & Pepper nearly shoot an intern; PLUS- special guests the Torture Twins are in studio!! AND, the guys uncomfortably solicit and threaten to kidnap YouTube star Miss Hannah Minx unless she appears on the program!! Enjoy the GREATEST show on Sirius XM Satellite Radio...available on Monday in the On Demand section!! Peace!!
Who is your favorite television teacher? (pictured below)
a.) Mr. Kotter - Welcome Back, Kotter (14%)
b.) Mr. Moore - Head of the Class (12%)
c.) Ms. Krabappel - The Simpsons (16%)
d.) Mr. Chubbly - Fat High (18%)
e.) Miss Jerkle - Teen Meth Class (19%)
f.) Senor Roberto - Little Glee (21%)
