Davey Mac & Peppy Ham- drinkin' it LIVE on Sirius XM!! Saturday!! Be there!!

Shit YES!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program XL is LIVE on Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!!  Tune to The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific, for the show so spectacular it once caused Mark Hamill's dick to fall off ("It's true.  It fell right off.  I guess you can call me Luke Nodicker now..."  - Mark Hamill, Sept. 18, 2012).  Topics for the show shall include:

* Christmas- is it proper to give your loved one a bottle of booze and a dildo?

* Eye balls- when you're really high, which we are now, it feels like they're trying to get you to confess something...maybe we should stick some needles in them to shut them up...

* America's most beloved sitcom dad, Dick Chummy (star of the classic ABC show, Daddy Got Fired!), discusses his new auto-biography- I Had Sex With All Of My Co-Stars...including the dog, Barkie)

* Famous chiropractor, Dr. Saul Tokker, talks about his self-help book, Christopher Reeve And Stephen Hawking Are A Couple Of Pussies

* Chocolate chips - they kind of remind me of midget poop

* The world's greatest billiards player, "Cocky" Joe McDuffle, chats up his new documentary- I'm Cocky Joe & I Slam My Dick-Hole With Cue Balls

See you guys on Saturday!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Dec. 7)

Would do you think of my new movie- Big David Vs. The Little Dave's?

a.) I wouldn't see it if you paid me a million dollars and fucked my ass with a baby rabbit while sticking a cactus in my mouth and forcing me at gunpoint to call you "Grandma Titty" while my nipples were being burned by midgets!!!  ...Yeah...yeah, I know...I'm into some weird shit... (26%)

b.) I don't like going to the movie theater, David.  Too many people.  I prefer staying home and compiling a list of celebrities that I'd like to fart on. (25%)

c.) This is gonna be the BEST movie EVER, Davey Mac!!  Is there a part when "Big David" stomps on an under-privileged orphanage?  If not, I'll gladly blow one up for you if it'll help the film!!! (24%)

d.) I'm not allowed to go to the movies ever since I was caught masturbating while on the popcorn line. (25%)

This week's brand new episode of Davey Mac and his Magic Makers- NOW available on RiotCast.com and iTunes! Enjoy!

A special, spectacular, and even fuck-able episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program is NOW available on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!!  Download the shit (for FREE)!!  Subscribe to the show (for FREE)!!  Touch the groin area (for FREE)!!  The guys talk about gun control, Christmas, Rex Ryan, Southerners, Dennis Miller, exploding bridges, aliens, and MORE!!  Go to RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes to enjoy the shit out of the show that is "so great it makes my head hurt!" - Chris "Corky" Burke

Poll-verizing! (Dave poll of the Day- Dec. 6)

The first legal medical marijuana dispensary has just opened up in New Jersey!  What should we do, dogsie?!

a.) We should pretend we have a "back problem", Dave Man, grab some legal weed, smoke it, listen to some Floyd, and then go on a coke-heroin-crack-'shrooms-ether-and-gin bender while robbing Walmarts!!!  Gateway Drug, welcome!!! (26%)

b.) You should NOT take advantage of the medical marijuana, David.  It's for people who are really sick...like myself.  I don't know if I told you, but my dick has the flu...which is why I put six to eight joints in my cock-hole every day. (24%)

c.) Let's get some medical herb and bake some pot brownies, and maybe some pot lasagna, and some pot hors d'oeuvres and pot pot roast and...you know, forget this marijuana shit, I think I'm just gonna enroll in culinary school!!  Yeeehhaaww! (23%)

d.) I'm high as FUCK right now, Davey Mac!!  Someone spit Jell-O into my ass!! (27%)

Dave Mac- LIVE like a chocolate hammer TONIGHT on Ustream!!

Oh shit yeah, baby-faces!!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program runs free TONIGHT like a pretty deer on its way to stick its deer-dick in a fresh stream, LIVE on USTREAM!! Join Dave, Pepper, Sean O & Roy Shaffer at 7 PM Eastern (4 Pacific) for a show so great that it once gunned down three-quarters of the wild-life in Long Island, including Joey Buttafuoco!!  We're gonna rock it harder than that pretty little deer we were talking about earlier who, unbeknownst to him as he peacefully sips from the stream, is about to be sodomized by a bear!!!  See you tonight on USTREAM!!  Peace!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Dec. 5)

I saw Reservoir Dogs in the theater yesterday because of the two-night Tarantino XX event (tomorrow is Pulp Fiction).  It fucking rocked!  What was your favorite part of Reservoir Dogs?

a.) I liked when Mr. Blonde cuts the cop's fucking ear off, Dave Man, and started speaking to it!!  Yeeehhaaww!! (22%)

b.) I enjoyed when Mr. Blonde sliced the cop's dick off, David, and started petting it. (24%)

c.) I loved it when Mr. Blonde chopped the cop's ass off, Davey Mac, and put it on his head while shouting, "Look at me!  I'm Pig-Butt Man!!" (26%)

d.) I liked when Mr. Blonde decapitated Gerry Rafferty and said that he was now the owner of Stealer's Head.  Boom! (28%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Dec. 4)

Kate Middleton is pregnant!  What does this mean for the Royal Family? a.) It means I'm gonna jerk off all day to the image of a naked British woman who has a little golden crown coming out of her pussy!!  Yeeehhaaww!! (27%)

b.) I do not care about the Royal Family, David.  My loyalty only lies with Princess Jizz and Prince Fart- two imaginary monarchs who I have created in my head while on pain-killers and tequila. (25%)

c.) This is the best day for England since A Flock Of Seagulls were hog-tied to each other and set on fire in Piccadilly Circus!! (25%)

d.) I hope the baby turns out to have three eyes and an over-sized mouth and eats Kate when he comes out of her vag!! (23%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Dec. 3)

  How was your weekend, dogsies?

a.) AWESOME, Dave Man!!  I found my long-lost birth father after searching for him for twenty years and when I finally met him, I farted on his head before chopping his dick off!!  I should probably not snort methamphetamine's before reuniting with family!!!!  Arrggghhhhh!!! (26%)

b.) Instead of staying in, I actually went out for a change, David, and it felt good.  I decided to go to the orphanage where I was raised and burn it to the ground before detonating a bomb in the local zoo. (25%)

c.) We rocked and rolled, Davey Mac!!  And by "we", I mean my invisible friend and rapist, Mr. Chuckles!!  I hope Mr. Chuckles can evade the police after what he did to that homeless woman! (24%)

d.) I did what I ALWAYS do on the weekend, Dave- I glued my cock to a dartboard and threw steak knives at it! Puh-ZOW! (25%)

No Davey Mac Sports Program XL this Saturday on Sirius XM due to the Patrice O'Neal tribute

Hey, homies!  The Davey Mac Sports Program XL will not be on this Saturday on Sirius XM due to the weekend-long tribute to the late, great comedian, Patrice O'Neal.  It should be a wonderful listen to the very talented Patrice so tune in, all weekend long, to The Opie & Anthony Channel on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!  And next Saturday, December 8th, be ready for Davey Mac to return to his regular spot of 7 PM Eastern (4 Pacific) on Saturday for a kick-ass program!!  Go to Sirius XM for more info!!  RIP, Patrice!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Nov. 30)

  I think I'm going into New York City to stroll around during Christmastime.  Where should I go first?

a.) You should head to Cockefeller Center to see the 80-foot dick!!!  Hahahaha!!!  I'm on acid, Dave Man!! (26%)

b.) I don't like New York, David...too dirty.  Instead, I enjoy staying home and putting different sized nails in my dick-hole. (25%)

c.) If I were you, Davey Mac, I'd go to Santa's S&M Shop and get my ass toilet-plungered by Rudolpha The Mistress!!  YOWWWWW!!! (25%)

d.) You should go to Macy's famous Christmas window and shit on it. (24%)

You want it? You GOT it! This week's Davey Mac show is up and ready to be fucked on RiotCast.com and iTunes!!

  Shit yeah, brothers and sisters!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program (aka "The show so great it made me slap the piss out of third-world orphans" - The Ghost of Mother Theresa) is NOW available (for free) on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!! Check it the fuck out!!  We have altar boy stories!!  Jets fans tales!!  Horrible confessions!!  And more!!  Listen to the Davey Mac Sports Program (aka "The show that I can most relate to" - The Ghost of Jeffrey Dahmer), NOW available (for free) on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!!  Peace!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Nov. 28)

  I've put up all of my Christmas decorations and lights!!  I'm excited!!  What's YOUR favorite decoration that you own?

a.) I have a six-inch Santa Claus that's fucking a reindeer in the ass, Dave Man!!!  It was a Christmas present from my mom three years ago!!  Yay!! (23%)

b.) I usually hang up my own dried cum on the window, David.  Merry Christmas. (26%)

c.) I just steal my neighbor's stuff and glue it to my fucking roof!!  And if they try to get it back!!  BLAM!!  That's the sound of my X-Mas bazooka goin' off, Davey Mac!! (27%)

d.) I don't celebrate Christmas.  I only observe the Holiday of all Holidays: Throw A Water Balloon Filled With Shit At The Mailman Day. (24%)

The Davey Mac and Assassins kill it LIVE tonight on Ustream!! 7 PM Eastern!! 4 Pacific!!

 

Oh, YEAH, dogsies!!  It's that glorious time of the week where the Davey Mac Sports Program will jizz out its magic LIVE on USTREAM!!  Join us at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific for a show that promises to be more fun than chewing on your neighbor's dog's tail in an attempt to "teach him a lesson".  It's gonna be more enjoyable than taking your sister's diary and throwing it at blind people!!!  It's gonna be greater than the time President Lincoln slapped the shit out of Thomas Jefferson in Heaven!!!  Join David, Pepper, Sean O, and Roy Shaffer tonight on USTREAM!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Nov. 28)

  The Powerball Lottery is up to $500 million!!  What would you do if you won the money?

a.) I'd make the biggest ice cream cone in the world and immediately shove it up your ass, Dave Man!!!  Yeeeeeehhaaawww!!!  Drinking on a Wednesday morning is fuckin' fun!!! (26%)

b.) I think I would donate it to my favorite charity, David- Kids With Diseases Who Want To Fuck Small Animals Before They Die (24%)

c.) I'd buy a minor league baseball stadium...and then blow it the fuck up like the Death Star!!! (23&)

d.) I think I'd be pretty humble with the cash.  I'd only buy an Angelina Jolie cloning machine and make a dozen Angelina's while I banged each of them in my new hybrid Lamborghini-Helicopter. (27%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Nov. 27)

  Did you go online to buy anything for Cyber Monday?

a.) Hell YES, Dave Man!!  I ordered a shit-load of D batteries from Target for my Shotgun-Dildo that I've purchased for my wife!!  BLAMMO!!! (26%)

b.) I don't own a computer, David.  I do have, however, a box of rusty nails that I like to dump over my naked body every time there is a full moon. (24%)

c.) I bought a bunch of Star Wars action figures that I plan to put up my neighbor's ass who's past out on my porch right now!! (25%)

d.) I tried to go online but my fucking computer shot me into outer space before I could buy shit!!  I guess that's what I get for buying a Dell H.A.L. model!!! (25%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Nov. 26)

  How was your Thanksgiving?

a.) Awesome, Dave Man!!  I got so full on turkey and gravy that I had to unloosen my belt and unbutton my pants right there at the table!!  Then, I took out my ass and shat in Aunt June's fucking lap!!  Then, I stabbed my dick with a fork and let it bleed all over the stuffing!!  I'm so fucking full!!! (27%)

b.) I did not celebrate Thanksgiving with any humans, David.  I did dress up my kittens like pilgrims and Indians, though.  Then I drowned them in the bath-tub. (23%)

c.) I had a BLAST!!!  My mom made her special mashed potatoes which tasted a little like poison and---xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx--- (22%)

d.) I loved the Thanksgiving parade on NBC this year!!  Especially the part where Matt Lauer started eating Savannah Guthrie on live television!!  Boy, Matt should probably stop ingesting bath salts!! (28%)

The Davey Mac Thanksgiving Special is NOW up on RiotCast.com and iTunes! Enjoy! And Happy Thanksgiving, peeps!

 

The Davey Mac Sports Program Thanksgiving Special is NOW available (for free) on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!!  Download it!!  Subscribe to it!!  Suck it!!  FUCK it!!  Feel the Thanksgiving warmth with "East Side" David McDonald- voted the Pilgrim Most Likely To Offend A Native American By Making Fun Of His Head-Dress in 1621; Chris "Pepper" Stanley- Inventor of the Thanksgiving Fart (1623); Sean O- began the Thanksgiving tradition of getting fucked up on booze and yelling at your relatives (1626); Roy Shaffer- once killed three Indians on Thanksgiving (2002).  It's YOUR Thanksgiving special!!  Go ahead- listen!!  You fucking deserve it!!  Happy Thanksgiving, homies!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Nov. 21)

  Tomorrow is Thanksgiving!  Are you ready to rock?!

a.) Fuck YEAH, Dave Man!!!  I've just made my own, special gravy filled with all the cat cum that I could squeeze out of Mr. Kitties!!  Who wants some?!?! (28%)

b.) I am not ready to rock, David.  I have not even started cooking my sweet potato dish.  Maybe I'll just stay home and suck my own cock. (20%)

c.) I LOVE Thanksgiving, Davey Mac!!!  I can't wait to drunkenly show my in-laws my brand new Thanksgiving Shotgun!!!  Bam!!  Bang!!  Hahahahahahaha!!!!! (27%)

d.) I hope this year my mom doesn't poison the pumpkin pie and try to kill my brothers and me again!! (25%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Nov. 20)

  I'm starting to get excited for Thanksgiving!  How about you?

a.) The only thing that gets ME excited, Dave Man, is when I force my pet rabbits to suck each other off while I film it and then post it on BunnyPorn.com!!! (28%)

b.) Thanksgiving does not get me very excited, David.  Too many potato dishes.  I prefer eating a bowl full of cum. (22%)

c.) Fuck YEAH I'm excited, Davey Mac!!!  I'm gonna bring my special home-made LSD-infused pumpkin pie to my Aunt Terry's house and watch as she gets so fucking screwed up that she tries to fuck herself with a piece of squash again!!!  Partaaaay!!! (26%)

d.) I can't wait for this glorious holiday of family, food, farts, fuck-toys, and finger-cuffs!!  We give thanks!! (24%)

David and his Pilgrims- LIVE tonight (Tuesday) on Ustream! We give thanks!

 

Let's do's it, dogsie!!!  It's a Davey Mac Sports Program Thanksgiving Special!!  TONIGHT!!  LIVE at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!!  And we want YOU to come celebrate the holiday with us on The East Side Dave Happy Times Channel on Ustream!!!  We're gonna give thanks to the Lord and to each other for two years of Davey Mac online shows; one year of shows on Sirius XM Satellite Radio; all the dildos that we have accrued; the many times we jerked off in the car ride home; the various adventures while boozed up that didn't end in paralysis; and MORE!!  Join us!!  TONIGHT on Ustream!!!  Peace!!