This week's Davey Mac Sports Program (online) is now up on iTunes and RiotCast.com!! Let's FUCK it!!!!!!!!

  Yeah, daddy-baby-pal!!!  This week's stellar Davey Mac & Fondle Friends Show is now up on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes and is ready to be fucking sucked!!!  In this episode: the guys talk about their ANY GIVEN SUNDAY show (which is THIS Friday, Aug. 31st, at 7 PM Eastern 4 Pacific on Ustream); Roy Shaffer is back on the drugs; Penn State teachers suck; Andy Roddick is a piece of choking garbage; Joe Paterno leaves a suicide note; Davey Mac is once again Champion of the World; and more fuckies!!!  Go to RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes and enjoy the shit out of it!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- August 30)

  What is your favorite hang-over remedy?

a.) Hair of the dog, David.  Take a shot of whatever you were drinking last night...followed by a cigarette...followed by some pot...followed by a a few mushrooms...followed by some acid...followed by coke...followed by crank...followed by killing a live chicken by ripping off its head and pouring the blood over your face...followed by going into a 7-11 on steroids and beating up the Slurpee machine...followed by killing a village of poor people.  That always works for me. (26%)

b.) Why is "Option A" in these polls always a deranged, fucking lunatic?! (25%)

c.) For hang-overs I like to lie down in my bed and jerk off thirty-three times to animal porn. (24%)

d.) I always take two aspirin and punch a midget in the mouth. (25%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- August 29)

  Why do they call Wednesday "Hump Day"?

a.) Because they couldn't call it "Fuck Day".

b.) Maybe it's the day "Digital Underground" was born, and then did that dance thing, before they were thrown in jail by the Judge from Nothing But Trouble.

c.) I think it's the day Humphrey Bogart jerked off into the eye of the piano player on the set of Casablanca.

d.) I don't know why they call Wednesday "Hump Day".  But I am working on getting Thursday changed to "Dildo Day."

Davey Mac and the Sons of Bitches- LIVE tonight on Ustream at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!!!

  Fuck to the Yeah!!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program flies like a dick in the wind THIS EVENING at 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific on Ustream and/or RiotCast.com!!!  Join us, you glorious bastards!!!  Davey Mac- The Leader of All Things Cum, Peppy Hamburger- The Master of Farts, Roy Shaffer- The Wizard of Jizzards, Sean O- The Lord of Beers...and YOU- The Kings & Queens of Queens & Kings.  We'll see you this evening at 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific on Ustream and/or RiotCast.com!!!  Peace!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- August 28)

  Are you ready to ROCK today?

a.) No I am not, David.  My pet monkey Theodore has bitten me in the dick (again) and I'm quite distracted, if you must know... (25%)

b.) Fuck yeah, Davey Mac!!!  I've been starving my midget-cannibal-slaves all week and am ready to let them out of their cages!!  Let's fuckin' eat!!! (26%)

c.) I never rock, Dave.  But I do enjoy parasailing while shitting. (24%)

d.) I AM ready to rock, Diddy Mac!!!  I just need to take a quick shower and clean this blood, jizz, mucous, vomit, poo, and animal brains off of me first!!  Yaaaaay!! (25%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- August 27)

  Do you have a case of the Monday's today?  'Cause I sure as shit do!!!

a.) No...but I do have a case of the farties, David!!  Smell that?  It's like I ate the dead body of Gary Coleman dipped in garlic!!!  Ewwwwww!!!! (24%)

b.) I have the Monday's, too, Dave Man!!  This always happens when I've been spending all weekend burying my wife and all her belongings in my backyard!!! (25%)

c.) I have a great way to get over the Monday's, Davey!  Go to the nearest zoo all fucked-up on Meth with a shotgun and go hunting until your heart's content!!  I recommend the Monkey Cage!!  Don't feel bad, those little fuckers have been known to fling poo!!!  Yeeeeehhhaaawww!!!! (25%)

d.) Having the Monday's is still better than having a case of the Sunday's, Dave...which is where God punches you in the face for being an asshole while you are riding your bicycle. (26%)

Davey Mac and Pepper Potts- In your ears and touchy this Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!

  You know you want the Thunder.  Be honest with yourself.  You DO want the Thunder.  You want to hear the Thunder, and touch the Thunder, maybe rub the Thunder, possibly fuck the Thunder.  Well, then you're in luck, daddy.  Because "East Side" Dave McDonald and Chris "Pepper" Stanley plan to bring the fucking Thunder on Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio with the Davey Mac Sports Program XL!!!  LIVE at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!!  Tune to The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105) to taste the Thunder!!!!  Show topics shall include:

* The Spanky Brothers, Miguel & Felipe, sing their new hit song, "We Spank Our Midget And We Spank Ourselves And We Spank Our Dog And We Spank The Dick"

* Turtles- why you can't trust 'em

* Famous lawyer Burt Buckles talks about his new memoir, Why Is There Ice Cream In My Asshole and 47 other litigious arguments

* Gum- why you shouldn't put it on your uncle's fore-head while he's laying in his casket at his funeral if you can't find a place to dispose of it

* Country music's favorite group of rascals, The Jerry Fuck-Nut Trio, performs an acoustic version of "Honey, Don't Give Me That Look Or I Gotta Get Out My Brass Knuckles Again And You Know What That Means"

* And popular wrestler Doctor Gass shows off his finishing move- The Pussy Fart

We'll see you on Saturday for the Davey Mac Sports Program XL, LIVE on Sirius XM!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- August 24)

  What's the best jam band?

a.) The Grateful Dead (17%)

b.) Phish (15%)

c.) Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem (16%)

d.) Handsome Henry and his All-Star Band of Pedophiles (18%)

e.) Shitty Fingerz (17%)

f.) The Jizz Gang (17%)

Dave and the Sports Dragon battle epically for supremacy on this week's Davey Mac show (online version)!!! NOW up on RiotCast.com and iTunes!!!

  Yes sir, friends and neighbors!!!  This week's Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is now available on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes and we want YOU to check it out!!!  Subscribe to the show (for free) and enjoy!!!  On this week's episode: the guys announce the details for their drunken Any Given Sunday show coming up next Friday the 31st, Davey Mac gets into a road rage incident, Pepper sues the man who invented farting, Sean O gets lost in Long Island, and Roy Shaffer returns from England with an odd accent!!!  Plus, machine guns, beach parties, fire, goblins, deadly ice cream, and MORE!!!  Go to RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes for the shit!!!  Peace!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- August 23)

  What are you doing tomorrow for Fun Friday?

a.) I'll probably just stay home and play the Nintendo Wii with my dog.  He loves the game Wii Going For A Walk.  Afterwards, we'll drink some wine and give each other massages. (26%)

b.) I'm gonna go out to my favorite local watering hole...which is just a well in my backyard...where I will continue searching for Baby Jessica!!  I just love watering holes!!! (24%)

c.) My calendar is clear this Friday...and every Friday after that, really...ever since I went to a party at my friend's place last week in too much of an inebriated state and told everyone that they had "dumb haircuts" before punching myself in the face twenty times before putting rat poison in all of the food before shooting my friend's TV before burning said friend's house down.  I probably shouldn't drink. (25%)

d.) I'm gonna jerk off like there's no tomorrow! (25%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- August 21)

  My stomach hurts and I feel like I want to die.

a.) At least your dick hasn't fallen off, David...not yet anyways...muhahahaha!!! (25%)

b.) When I have a stomach ache, Dave Man, I utilize my great-grandmother's wonderful remedy: get knee-walking drunk on home-made alcohol and rob a 7-11 with a rusty steak-knife...works every time! (26%)

c.) Well, at least you HAVE a stomach, you whiny cry-baby!!  Signed, George the Jelly-Fish (25%)

d.) Hey, look on the bright side of things, Davey Mac!  You're still a wealthy man with non-red hair!  ...Oh...oh, sorry, Davey Mac... (24%)

The Davey Mac Sports Program & The Watchers Proudly Present- "Drunken Given Sunday"- a special radio and motion picture event!

  That's right, Dave Pound!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program and The Watchers are going to kick off this year's NFL Season NOT by doing a generic preview show, NOR by having shitty modern country stars play in the parking lot of some corporate-named football stadium...NO!!!!  We instead shall salute the return of football by having beers and watching "Any Given Sunday" and commenting on it in a simulcast that we will broadcast LIVE on Ustream and/or RiotCast.com!!!  And we want YOU to hang out with us!!!!  Here are the glorious details!!!

What:     DRUNKEN GIVEN SUNDAY- a liquored up toast to football.

Who:      Davey Mac, Pepper, Roy Shaffer, Sean O...maybe some surprise guests!

When:    FRIDAY, August 31st (around 6:30 PM Eastern, 3:30 Pacific...but the EXACT time will be announced as we get closer to the date...so make sure you're checking Twitter.com/EastSideDave or Facebook.com/EastSideDave or THIS SITE for updates!!!)

Where:  LIVE on Ustream and/or RiotCast.com!!!

So join us!!  Tell your homies!!  And meet us online for DRUNKEN GIVEN SUNDAY, presented by our two shows- The Davey Mac Sports Program and The Watchers!!!  See you then!!

Join us for the Fourth Annual McDonald Wiffle Ball Tournament! YOU are invited!!!

  It's the Fourth Annual McDonald Wiffle Ball Tournament!!!  Yeeeeehhaaaww!!

Fourth Annual McDonald Wiffle Ball Tournament Details!

When?          Sunday, September 2, 1:00 PM!!!

Where?         Thompson Park in Lincroft, New Jersey!!!

                      (Here's a link to Thompson Park)

Who?             YOU, US, ME, WE, EVERYONE!!!

Why?             Because Wiffle Ball is the greatest sport ever invented.  And because trophies and stickers will be given out!!

What else?    And then after the game and because the next day is Labor Day and most of us have off, we'll be going for celebratory or mournful cocktails (depending on whether you won or lost) at the Dublin House in Red Bank.  (Here's a link to the Dublin House)

So tell your friends, invite homies, and join us for sports and whatnot!!!  See you there!!!

Controversial Fair/Foul Home Run featuring Dave and Casey Mac

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9vfzo7sXFI

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- August 20)

  It's gonna rain again today in New Jersey!!!  What the "H"-"E"-double-hockey-sticks is going on?!?!

a.) Just as long it doesn't shit, I'm happy!!!  I just hate it when the sky shits on me!!! (23%)

b.) Rain is good for the earth.  It makes the flowers grow...which is good for me...because I like fucking fully-grown flowers.  Ooooooh yeaaahhh! (24%)

c.) Rain doesn't bother me.  I'm an umbrella salesman, so I'm always covered.  I also sell Meth.  You want some?  And I sell automatic weapons that I stole from my dad's house- you want any??  I also sell midget sex-slaves- you want 'em?!  And I sell miniature robotic dildo's that spray mace- you want one?!?!?!  I sell's it ALL, daddy!!! (26%)

d.) John Lennon said, "When it rains or shines...it's just a state of mind"...which I think is a metaphor for fucking having butt sex with an invalid. (27%)

Davey Mac and the Pepper shall slam it deep on Sirius XM on Saturday at 7 PM Eastern, 4 PM Pacific!!!

  You got that correcto, hermano!!  Join Dave & Pepper & silly billies for the Davey Mac Sports Program XL...LIVE on Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!!  Tune in to The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific for the goodiness!!!  Topics shall include:

* Retired Fire Department Chief Rex Huxton discusses his new memoir- I Think I Burned My Dick Again

* Country star legends the Shelly Sisters, Shelly-Ann and Shelly-Lynn, salute the troops with their rousing rendition of their hit song-  "We Wish Bin Laden Was Still Alive So We Could Shoot Him Again In The Head And Squirt Piss On Him From Our American Pussies"

* Dave & Pepper challenge the guys at the Rap Channel at Sirius XM to a gift-wrapping contest...no holds fucking barred!!!

* World-famous ventriloquist act Marty Fuckles and his puppet Herby do their famous routine, "You Didn't See Me Hurt That Woman, Herby, And If You Even Breathe A Word Of This To Anybody, I'll Cut Your Little Wooden Cock Off.  Now Help Me Bury Her, Herby.  You're In This Just As Deep As I Am."

* And Cal Ripken stops in...and quickly runs out after Dave & Pepper ask him to be the referee in their on-air ode to the Russian Roulette scene from The Deer Hunter

See you guys on Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio for the Davey Mac Sports Program XL, LIVE at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific on The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105)!!  Peace!!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- August 17)

  Yesterday was NOT a good day...

a.) What happened, Dave Man, did you accidentally microwave your shit again?!?!  Hahahaha!!  Oh, I slays me!!!! (22%)

b.) It was a bad day for me as well, David.  I was making a popsicle-stick cabin and somehow I chopped off eight of my fingers.  Maybe I should stop taking PCP. (25%)

c.) Well, my day was GREAT, Davey Mac!!  I fought off a bear attack!!  ...At least...I thought it was a bear.  It turns out that it was just the Cubs mascot.  Maybe I should stop drinking pesticides at Wrigley Field. (28%)

d.) Good day...bad day...it's all the same when your dick smells like Cheetos, Diddy. (25%)

This week's Davey Mac Sports Program (online version ) is now up!! Touch it!! Hold it!! Yeaaahhhh!!

  You know you want to, Daddy!!!  You know you want to fondle the shit out of the Davey Mac Sports Program!!  Then go right ahead!!  Head to RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes for the shit!!  SUBSCRIBE (for free) to the show, DONWLOAD it (for free, too), and LISTEN (for fucking free already)!!!!  On this week's episode- Ochocinco fucks shit up; Dave confesses naughty things; Pepper does accents; Sean O gets liquored up and has train problems; Roy Shaffer remains suspended for two weeks; the boys bomb not one but TWO buildings; and shit goes down!!!  So go to RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes for the most "kick-ass show of all time!!" - person on Twitter

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- August 16)

  Today is gonna be a good day!  I can feel it!

a.) Looks like Dave was able to bullshit the parole board yet again!!  Come on, American Penal System, lock this son of a bitch up already, he masturbated on my dog!!!! (24%)

b.) Good for you, Davey Mac!!  Every day that you don't crash your car into a 7-11 and take out the midget who works behind the cash register is a great one!! (25%)

c.) Good day...bad day...who cares anymore????  I just found out that Horshack from "Welcome Back, Kotter" died...nothing fucking matters!!!!! (25%)

d.) It's always a good day when the Dave Man avoids stapling his penis to his work desk for the morning!!! (26%)

Davey Mac & The Homies- LIVE tonight on Ustream and RiotCast.com at 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific!!

  It's LIVE!!  It's TONIGHT!!  It's full of CUM!!!  It's the Davey Mac Sports Program!!  THIS EVENING at 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific on Ustream and/or RiotCast.com!!!  Watch Dave, Pepper, and Sean O on a wonderful episode that will discuss Ochocinco and his head-butt, the Olympics, why our keyboardist Roy Shaffer has been suspended for two weeks, piles of garbage that I keep in my garage and sculpt into mountains, little creatures that are living in my backyard who I plan on poisoning, kidnapping people, whispering intimately into strangers' ears, and MORE!!  See you this evening, Dave Pound, on Ustream and/or RiotCast.com!!!  Yeeeaaahhhh!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- August 15)

  I had a meeting with a television executive yesterday.  What show do you think I pitched?

a.) The Davey Mac Sports Program TV- A television version of the highly successful Sirius XM and iTunes shows

b.) Fart-Fucks- Two men who go on a magical adventure of trying to capture beautiful farts in order to fuck them

c.) Touch That Ass!- A reality show where NO ONE is safe from the "Ass-Touchers"!  Old Men, teen-aged girls, babies- EVERYONE is a groping victim in this illegal show!

d.) Stop Looking At Me!- Another reality show set inside a mental hospital where a couple of "pranksters" play fun, practical jokes on people with serious problems!!  Hilarity, be prepared to fucking ensue!!!