It’s your April Third Davey Mac Report and Rutgers men’s basketball coach, Mike Rice, has been fired after a video emerged and was aired on ESPN of Rice throwing basketballs at players, as well as shoving and kicking them. In addition to that, Rice also called his own players “faggots”, among other derogatory names. This guy is obviously a fucking asshole. Not only is his behavior reprehensible, but is he not aware that his practices are fucking filmed?! And that those films are evidence?! What a damned jack-off!! That’s the same shit that Richard Nixon egotistically ignored when he was President. While throwing around the N-word and “Jew York City”, Nixon forgot that every conversation in the Oval Office was being recordedfor fuck’s sake!! How stupid are these two dick-noses?! Rule number one in Cock-Face Behavior: if you’re going to act like a fart-head, make sure you’re not being captured on film or audio tape, you fucking idiots!! Geez, Louise!!
Shaquille O’Neal had his number 34 retired by the Lakers on Tuesday…and used that occasion to go after Dwight Howard, saying that Howard needs to “step” up, and that Howard getting 18 points a game is “not enough”, in Shaq’s opinion. Bam!! Slam!! Glam!! Jam!! Let’s be honest, Shaq HATES Dwight Howard the way I hate Ewoks. What with their little hands and trying to barbecue Han Solo, which was totally uncool. Also, the fact that they are so dim that they stupidly think that C-3P0 is a fucking god, shows you what kind of retarded fucking species those assholes are. Fuck ‘em.
I was viewing some baseball the other day and realize that Vin Scully is one of the top ten greatest people that Major League Baseball has ever produced. He was broadcasting the Dodgers-Giants game that I was watching and at the age of 85, Scully still calls a game more beautifully than any other human on the planet. The man IS baseball, for crying out loud. I wish I could be that defined with one thing in life. I suppose I would make top ten lists for greatest pants-shitters…or people most likely to put their dick on a cactus…or guys who like to lick strangers’ necks on the subway…but those aren’t exactly titles to brag about…
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to ME. I fucking deserve it and don’t you argue with me.