Have you started your Christmas shopping yet? a.) Fuck no, Davey Mac!! I'm still in the county jail after I went to the local mall, sat on Santa's lap, and shit on it while under the influence of LSD!! Wowee zowee! (24%)
b.) I do all my Christmas shopping online, David. So far I've gone to Amazon.com and bought my usual stocking-stuffers of black dildos, shotgun shells, and Animal Fucker magazine. (25%)
c.) I'm not allowed outside, Dave Man, ever since I shot and killed Rudolph and hung him on my wall!! At least...I thought it was Rudolph! It actually turned out to be my Uncle Gary!! Whoops! (25%)
d.) I love Christmas shopping!! It's a great time to get out of the house and think of others!! Plus, you can use shopping as an alibi when you detonate an explosive under your asshole-neighbor's house and blow him the fuck up!!! (26%)
