Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Dec. 12)

  What's your favorite Christmas food?

a.) Candy Canes

b.) Eggnog

c.) The Christmas Ham

d.) The ridiculously over-sized cheese ball that your dad gets that could feed small villages in El Salvador and that you promise yourself that you'll only have a little but you start drinking and picking away at it and you have another beer and maybe you'll just have a little more cheese and the next thing you know, you've drunkenly eaten 80% of the cheese ball and your relatives look at you with disgust as you excuse yourself to take a horrible and intoxicated beer-and-cheese shit that clears the whole house.

Vote NOW in the All About ESD-Contact Info section of this site! (Voting results in parentheses)

The Davey Mac Sports Program XL is LIVE on Saturday (Dec. 10) on Sirius XM!

  That's right, friends and neighbors!!!  Join me for a fuck-fest of sports, movies, pop culture and other shit that no other sports host would touch with a 39 and a half foot pole!  We're on LIVE, Saturday night on the Opie & Anthony Channel, Sirius 206, XM 105, at 8 Pm EST (5 in the West)!!!  Topics include:

* Phil Simms- is he really an albino?

* Ben Roethlisberger- has he raped Balky from Perfect Strangers?

* Baseballs- wouldn't they be cuter if we glued those little googly-eyes onto them?

* CP3- is he really related to C-3PO?

* Mike Tyson- why he's primed for a comeback...in the Professional Face-Tattoo Billiards Association

We'll see ya Saturday (Dec. 10th), LIVE on Sirius XM!  And don't forget to call in at 866-WOW-1-WOW!!  Peace!!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Dec. 9)

  How hungry am I?

a.) not hungry at all (4%)

b.) a little hungry (11%)

c.) very hungry (13%)

d.) so fucking hungry I could eat a sub that had two pieces of Italian bread with Nell Carter for the fucking meat; and throw in a side of Joey Lawrence fingertips to munch on; and I'll wash it down with a fucking pint of Blossom blood!!  I'm fucking HUNGRY!!!  Nice fuzzy fucking photo, you losers!!!! (72%)

Vote NOW in the All About ESD-Contact Info section of this site! (Voting results in parentheses)

The Davey Mac Sports Program! LIVE tonight on Ustream at PM EST!

You got it, Friendies!!  The number one independent sports show on iTunes and Stitcher.com is LIVE tonight on Ustream at 7 PM EST!  Go to the Ustream section of this site!  It's sports, movies, TV, pop culture, farts, all rolled into one dynamite show!!  Here's what famous people from around the globe probably did not say about the Davey Mac Sports Program:

"It's more exciting than shooting someone in the face!"  -Dick Cheney 

"I second THAT, C-Dawg!"  -Phil Spector 

"I'm so hungry I'd eat the cum out of a dead man's cock!"  -Star Jones 

"What the shit happened to my career?  I was a fucking JEDI!!!"  -Mark Hamill 

"You were a DICK, is more like it!"  -Harrison Ford 

"What do YOU know, Blade-runner?!  Hey, everyone, it's Mr. One-Note:  Harrison Ford!"  -Mark Hamill 

"Come on, boys, just kiss and make up.  I'll be first.  Harrison, come here and let me kiss you HARD on the cheek, Regarding Henry!"  -Magic Johnson 

"Hey, Magic!  You said that was OUR thing!"  -Isiah Thomas 

"Heh...um...it IS, Isiah Baby, don't get mad I was just---"  -Magic Johnson 

"You're ALWAYS just something, Magic!!  That's YOU, through and through!  And to think- I wanted to have kids with you!!!" -Isiah Thomas  

"Isiah Doll-Baby, you know I'm not ready for that kind of commitment!"  -Magic Johnson 

"Magic...I'm gonna say this real calm and smooth-like.  Kiss my black pussy GOODBYE."  -Isiah Thomas 

"Awww, Isiah Kitten-Baby, don't be like that.  Gotta go guys!  Isiah seems real mad this time!  And Harrison, when I get back you better be stripped down to your Indiana Jones fedora!  Meooww!!"  -Magic Johnson 

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Dec. 8)

 

What is the best John Lennon solo song?

a.) Imagine (25%)

b) Instant Karma (12%)

c.) Nobody Told Me (8%)

d.) Happy Xmas (War Is Over) (7%)

e.) Oh Dave-O (10%)

f.) Whatever Dave's You Thru The Night (13%)

g.) Power To The Dave-Pound (25%)

Vote NOW in the All About ESD-Contact Info section of this site! (Voting results in parentheses)

More great photos by HeyNiceCamera of the Dave Number One Birthday Party!

  (Thanks to Evan for more great shots from the 11/11/11 East Side Dave Number One Birthday Party!  Visit Evan’s sight on http://HeyNiceCamera.blogspot.com/ and follow him on Twitter.com/HeyNiceCamera.  And to see more pics that include the Dave Man, Sam Roberts, and Anthony Cumia of the Opie and Anthony Show, go to the 11/30 Dave Poll of the Day!  Thanks again, Evan!)

Dave doing a Dean Martin Impression

Dave and Sam

Quick Programming Note for the Davey Mac Sports Program Ustream watchers and internet listeners! (12/7/11)

  Hey, homies!  For the millions of you who listen to the Davey Mac Sports Program (Internet version) on iTunes or Stitcher.com, we have a programming note!  While we usually do the show LIVE on Ustream on Wednesdays at 7 PM, due to kids being sick, Peppers being gassy, Seans being drummy, Roy Shaffers being tickly, and Daves being shmiggly, we are gonna do the show LIVE, TOMORROW night (Thursday the 8th), still at 7 PM EST!!  Tune in for the sports madness!!  Tune in for the show Pete Sampras may or may not have called, "strangely entertaining;"  the program that Bill Parcells possibly said "was an absolute delight, now where's my milkshake?"; the show that Brian Williams of NBC  Nightly News remarked: "East Side Davey Mac once fell asleep in one of my children's beds.  I...I think he was on drugs.  I had to notify the police."   We'll see ya Thursday!!!   And remember- the Davey Mac Sports Program XL is LIVE on Sirius XM on Saturday (Dec. 10th) at 8 Pm EST!!!  See you later, peeps!  And Brian Williams, see you in about fifteen fucking minutes!!!  Muhahahahahaha!!!!

The Davey Mac Sports Program XL is LIVE this Saturday on Sirius XM!!!

  That's right, dogsie!!!  "The greatest show in the world," the Davey Mac Sports Program will be LIVE on Sirius 206, XM 105 (The Opie & Anthony Channel) this Saturday, December 10, at 8 PM EST (5 PM in the West)!!  We want your phone calls at 866-WOW-1-WOW!!  We want your feedback at Didvod@gmail.com!!!  We want your sex!!  We want your first-born children!!  We want your eggs and sperm respectively for our experiments!!  We want your animals to kiss us on the lips!!!  We want your fingertips in our bum-bums!!!  We want your deceased relatives to get their zombie asses in gear and start eating our enemies' brains!!  We want your livers for our failing health!!  We want you to tune in this Saturday for the SUCKIEST, the FUCKIEST show in God-Damned Show Business!!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program XL, this Saturday at 8 PM EST on the Opie & Anthony Channel!!  Bring it!!!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Dec. 7)

  Where is it acceptable to urinate if you really have to go?

a.) the side of the road (8%)

b.) your friend's backyard (12%)

c.) your mom's special vegetable garden (14%)

d.) in the trunk of your ex-girlfriend's car (14%)

e.) on on a frog on a lily-pad in a lake, just to see if your accuracy and distance is up to snuff (16%)

f.) in your Uncle Mort's hearing aid while he has taken a nap (16%)

g.) on a line of ants on the sidewalk, pretending that you are God and will cause a Great Flood.  However you must allow the Noah ant to escape. (20%)

Vote NOW in the All About ESD-Contact Info section of this site! (Voting results in parentheses)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Dec. 6)

  I hung up my decorations, but when should I put up the Christmas tree?

a.) This Sunday (12%)

b.) The following weekend (10%)

c.) The day before Christmas Eve (6%)

d.) The day after I was up all night drinking, and I start crying to my wife about not yet having a Christmas tree...and I say, "Whhhyyy don't we have a fucking tree yet?!  What are we- fucking communists?!  If we don't get a tree TODAY, I'm gonna shit in the corner of the kitchen!!  I swears it!!  Here I go, the shitties are coming out!!!  Can we get the tree now?!  Yes?!?!  Hahahaha!!!!  Yeah, baby!!!  My little ruse worked then, didn't it?!  Hahaha!!!  On a serious note, can you hand me some toilet paper, 'cause a little piece of shitty did actually come out.  Thank you." (72%)

Vote NOW in the All About ESD-Contact Info section of this site! (Voting results in parentheses)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Dec. 5)

 

Who is your favorite Bill Murray brother?

a.) John Murray (8%)

b.) Joel Murray (12%)

c.) Brian Doyle-Murray (30%)

d.) Andy Murray (10%)

e.) F. Murray (18%)

f.) Eddie Murray (22%)

Vote NOW in the All About ESD-Contact Info section of this site! (Voting results in parentheses)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Dec. 2)

  Which social networking site do you use the most?

a.) Twitter (28%)

b.) Facebook (30%)

c.) Google + (10%)

d.) The EastSideDaveCountry.com Disturbed Chat Room O'Joy for Delinquents, Rapscallions, and Thieves- proving sound, sometimes illegal, and always jizzy advice since 1982.  (32%)

Vote NOW in the All About ESD-Contact Info section of this site! (Voting results in parentheses)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Dec. 1)

  What is your favorite Christmas special?

a.) Rudolph (23%)

b.) Frosty (12%)

c.) Charlie Brown (21%)

d.) Star Wars Christmas Special (20%)

e.) Farrah Fat Claus & Creepy The Elf Christmas Spectacular (24%)

Vote NOW in the All About ESD-Contact Info section of this site! (Voting results in parentheses)

Davey Mac on Sirius XM, Dec. 3, update

Hey guys, due to the recent, incredibly sad passing of one of comedy's funniest people, comedian Patrice O'Neal, Sirius 206 XM 105 will be playing Patrice stuff all weekend long (which is great).  As a result, the Davey Mac Sports Program XL on Sirius XM will not be on this Saturday, but we WILL return, LIVE next Saturday (Dec. 10).  We'll see you then, and our hearts are with Patrice and his family. -Dave

The Davey Mac Sports Program- LIVE tonight on Ustream at 7 PM EST!!

That's right, you sons of bitches!!!  Go to the Ustream section at 7 PM EST to watch the glory that is the Davey Mac Sports Program, LIVE!  Topics include: * Dave saw one of his puppets naked in the shower!

* Pepper evades the police!

* Roy Shaffer- does being German make him a Nazi?

* Sean O- the beer farts are back!

See ya tonight!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- 11/30)

  Which photo rocks the hardest?

(Thanks to Evan for the great shots from the 11/11/11 East Side Dave Number One Birthday Party!  Visit Evan's sight on http://HeyNiceCamera.blogspot.com/ and follow him on Twitter.com/HeyNiceCamera.)

a.) The Dave Man drunkenly sings! (36%)

b.) Dave sings!  Sam claps! (28%)

c.) Dave and Anthony- the new Simon & Garfunkel! (34%)

Vote NOW in the All About ESD-Contact Info section of this site! (Voting results in parentheses)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- 11/29)

  What is the cutest?

a.) A puppy (17%)

b) A Gizmo (24%)

c.) A kitten being eaten by President Bush (23%)

d.) A happy, elderly, married couple lovingly giving the camera the bird (46%)

Vote NOW in the All About ESD-Contact Info section of this site! (Voting results in parentheses)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- 11/28)

  How many different Christmas specials do you plan to watch between now and December 25th?

a.) 1

b.) 2-4

c.) 5 +

d.) zero because you are an Ebeneezer Scrooge you son of a bitch, now get that Christmas Season glow a-started or I'll a-come over to your house and a-light it on a-fucking-a-fire!!!

Vote NOW in the All About ESD-Contact Info section of this site! (Voting results in parentheses)

Happy Thanksgiving, Davey-acs!!!

Hello everyone and Happy Thanksgiving!!  I love Turkey Day so much I could just eat it up!!!  Hahahahahahah!!!   But seriously, folks, has anyone seen my keys?  My...TUR-keys?!  Hahaha!  'Cause I have to drive my GOBBLE-mobile home!!!  I'm so fucked up!!  Hahahahaha!!!  OK, seriously.  Enough fucking kidding around.  Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!  The Davey Mac Sports Program XL returns LIVE next Saturday (December 3rd) to Sirius XM Satellite Radio and the Sports Report continues our award-winning, ground-breaking coverage on Monday!!  A safe and happy Thanksgiving to you all!!!  Peace!!! -The Dave Man

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- 11/23)

When is it appropriate to begin to tie one on during Thanksgiving? a.) At the start of the third football game (20%)

b.) At the beginning of the second football game (14%)

c.) Half-time of the first football game (10%)

d.) IMMEDIATELY following the 7 AM two-hand-touch football game between you and your middle-aged relatives (56%)

Vote NOW in the All About ESD-Contact Info section of this site! (Voting results in parentheses)