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If you were forced at gunpoint to do one of the following, which would you choose: (Voting results in parentheses)
1.) Eat Conrad Bain's vomit (24%)
2.) Use Conrad Bain's urine as sun block (24%)
3.) Smear Conrad Bain's feces on your eye lids (22%)
4.) Utilize Conrad Bain's semen as a hand sanitizer (30%)
Sam & Dave had a Best-Of over the weekend because I had to attend a going-away party for my parents and Sam is undergoing back surgery after slipping in the bathroom at Six Flags Great Adventure. But we WILL, or more specifically, I WILL be back on Sirius 206, XM 105 this very weekend. Rocking and jocking. Sam, on the other hand, is scheduled for ear surgery after his bad experience at a Rob Zombie concert. We're gonna kills it, dogsie!!! Tune in Saturday at 8 PM EST for the Madness, the Warmth, the Fuzziness, and the Poopth!!!
What celebrity would you most like to try to stuff 20 gumballs in their mouth? (Voting results in parentheses)
a.) Alan Thicke (24%)
b.) Phil Collins (26%)
c.) Phylicia Rashad (22%)
d.) Dog the Bounty Hunter (28%)
Vote now!!
How does a grown man fall down three times? It should not happen to an individual who is sober at the time- which I was. First, I got out of bed and tripped over one of my dumb-bells like a jackass. That was number one. Then, after it cutting way to close to get to my radio station where I proceed to rock the Jersey Shore, I flew out of my car and, with my shoes being untied, I slipped and fell down the fucking hill by the parking lot that leads to the station like a fucking idiot!!! Number two. Then later, while on the air, I picked up a lava lamp that we keep in the studio. Not realizing that the lit-up, "lava" part of a lava lamp is generally NOT bolted into the base of the lamp, I tipped the lamp over and the glass part fell out- dropping to the floor. Me, like a retarded shmizbo, jumped desperately after the lamp thinking I would catch it. When I did not, the fucking thing exploded red fucking lava all over me, most noticeably on my white Adidas shoe. Boom. The trifecta of clumsy jiz-heads. Number three was safely in the books. Anyway, have a good day, I plan to walk into a water fountain and have my testes region soaked in a few minutes. Bye!
We had a great show this past week on the Davey Mac Sports Program LIVE on Ustream! Thanks to all who watched the show. And remember- you can still download the program on iTunes or Stitcher.com from the Sports Page. The show will be LIVE again next Wednesday on this site in the Ustream section! And look for some sporadic shows like the East Side Dave Happy Times Show which will pop up from time to time. Check here in the News section, or on Twitter, Facebook, etc. for updates! Thank ya! See ya, dogsies!
What animal could you eat while they were still alive? (Voting results in parentheses)
a.) mouse (22%)
b.) duck (26%)
c.) Bronson Pinchot (52%)
Vote now!!
Hello, Davey-acs! This evening the Davey Mac Sports Program will be video-streamed LIVE on this site! Go to the main page and click on USTREAM CHANNEL. You'll be able to watch the show right here on East Side Dave Country. If you want the name of the actual Ustream channel- it's "The East Side Dave Happy Times Channel." Follow my twitter or Facebook for an update later today on when the show will begin! To listen to the show on your mobile device or computer, we will still post it later this evening/tomorrow morning on iTunes and Stitcher.com as always. Excitement in the air! In the air tonight! Phil Collins! Thirty Points for me!!
(Results of the voting in parentheses) What would you want to see the MOST?
1.) Front row seats to your favorite broken-up band reuniting? (24%)
2.) A private viewing of the newest film hosted by your favorite director? (26%)
3.) Your favorite actor personally thanking you at their acceptance speech when he/she wins an Oscar? (20%)
4.) Front row seats to your favorite sports team winning a championship? (30%)
How many times has Dave peed his bed this year? (Voting results in parentheses) a.) None (0%)
b.) Once (4%)
c.) Two to five times (34%)
d.) Six times or more (62%)
Sam & Dave would like to thank you guys, the best listeners in the Land of Radio, for continuing to support the show with your great calls and excellent feedback. Somewhere in a parallel universe the people who run Radio Stations and Corporations actually listen to such feedback and reward people who deliver for them every week. Somewhere on an alternate Earth, Sam & Dave would have deservedly gotten a daily show rather than a weekly one; so that we could spread our magic and beauty 5 times a week. But alas, that world (for now) is not this one. But that doesn't mean we don't rock the shit out of Radio's Dicks! Cuz we do! We rock shit and farts and puke out of Radio's Dicks all the time! Thanks again, homies! See ya later!
Sam & Dave get ready to rock the shit out of Satellite Radio's ass! We're on tonight at 8 PM EST (5 in the West) and we will destroy all other shows! Sirius 206, XM 105 for laughter and bullets and puppets and popsicles and alligators and Conrad Baines and Chunky soup and cazoos!! Let's do's it!!!
Who would win in a steel cage match?
a.) Andy Dick (12%)
b.) Dick Van Dyke (52%)
c.) Bob Eubanks (36%)
Vote by emailing me...through the Contact Section! Vote now!
We will be LIVE as usual tomorrow night on Sirius 206, XM 105! Planned topics include Dave and his accordion collection, Sam and his constant bestiality, Garrett and his refusal to pay taxes, Monica and her four "justifiable" homicides. Tune in at 8 PM EST (5 in the West) for a show that will suck the juices from your body and give them back to you in a biodegradable water bottle! Peace!
Yessir! We went LIVE yesterday for the weekly Davey Mac Sports Program and we had over 700 viewers on what was supposed to be just a "test" show! Everything went really well and we had a great time! All future DMSP's will be Ustreamed and expect impromptu Happy Times shows on various Fridays and whatnot! Check this site and my Twitter, or Facebook, or Google + for updates on when the shows will go LIVE. You can see the test show on this site from the Ustream section on the main page (yesterday's show was already archived). Or simply type in this link: http://www.EastSideDaveCountry.com/happytimes
The future is NOW, Dave Pound!! I don't know what that means but I thought it sounded cool! But, again, I'm on LSD this morning and plan to smoke Chinese hash in the afternoon followed by some Ether and chicken soup! We do's it nice!!
If forced at gunpoint would you rather: 1.) Eat a human already killed (22%)
2.) Kill a man on Death Row with a knife (54%)
3.) Cook your pet and serve it to your family for Thanksgiving (24%)
Let me know on the Contact section of this site!
Poll question: Who would you rather be stuck with on a deserted island?
a.) The cast of The Departed (41%)
b.) Your favorite sports team (38%)
c.) Every living President (21%)
Let me know NOW via the contact section of this site!!!
Forget about gay people, God Hates Dave. That should be the sign those backwards, protesting fuckers should hold. Yesterday, my parents sand-bagged me with another, "David, can you help us with the porch furniture?" Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and dad and I do like to help out. But I need at least a 12-hour WARNING for this porch furniture chore that I have been doing for years. I really had other things to do yesterday, but "Shit," I says to myself, "I'll do it." Meanwhile, when I agreed it was simply overcast. I didn't realize that I'd be moving furniture down two flights of stairs, across the yard, and up onto the porch in the middle of a God-Damned hurricane that rivaled the one that tried to take Lieutenant Dan out!! And even though it was RAINING, the mere fact that it said "August" on the calendar means I still got burnt!! Fuck you, Sun!! Fuck you sideways!!!
Special Delivery Starring Sam & Dave once again destroyed the shit out of radio and entertainment in general with what many are calling "another great fucking show." Celebrities who are talking about Sam and Dave include: Mindy Cohn- "Special Delivery is so good I just ate a cake and made some farts!"
Roger Clemens "Sam and Dave kick more ass than a 'roided-out, pitching freak who throws bats at Mike Piazza!"
Tim Gunn- "Jiz doesn't taste as good as Special Delivery Starring Sam & Dave!"
and
Leslie Nielson- "Hey, I'm dead!"
Thanks for listening, friends, and tune in again this Saturday when we're again LIVE. Bye!
A shitload is going on in East Side Dave Country, so let's get started! OK, we now have a whole archive section for the mega-popular Davey Mac Sports Reports. Go to the main page and it is one of the sub-categories on the News & Sports section! Hold on!!! Don't go there yet, I'm not finished!!!! Next, you can still get your daily Sports Report from the Davey Mac Sports Page, which is located on the main page! Check it out! New sports reports and video snippets and, of course, links to the best sports show on the internet! Wait, wait, wait!!! Don't check it out quite yet!! Geez what's the rush?!?! I mean, RELAX already!!! Also, don't forget Special Delivery Starring Sam & Dave LIVE tomorrow night on Sirius 206, XM 105 at 8 PM EST (5 in the West)! Stop!! Don't get into your time machine and go one day into the future so you can listen to the show just yet!!! My gosh!! You are so impulsive!! Yes, you are!!! DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!! Lastly, coming soon: The East Side Dave Happy Times Ustream Channel which we will have on this here site!! OK, NOW you can go!! Well, go already!!! Geeeeeeezzz!!!!!
Thank you, F.O.S.A.D.'s (Fan Of Sam And Dave), for your great calls and support Saturday! Special Delivery kicked the ass yet again! Wish we could do more shows but c'est la vie (which I believe translates as "shit happens"). We rocked it hard! Harder than an erect penis that has been turned to stone because it looked at Medusa. Until next Saturday, friendies!!
