To The New York Yankees,
PLEASE WIN TONIGHT OR I’M GONNA BLOW UP MY LEGS!!! I NEED THIS, YANKEES!!! I MEAN IT!!! I’LL DO IT!!! THE DYNAMITE IS ALREADY STRAPPED TO MY KNEES AS WE SPEAK!!! I NEED YOU TO WIN TONIGHT!!! BEAT CLEVELAND AND SAVE MY LEGS!!! BLESS YOU!!!
Respectfully and emotionally yours,
Davey Mac