...April First is a weird one, daddy. Believe it or not, I never really liked this odd day of horrible pranks. I don't think jokes should be scheduled on the calendar. And then there's the weird maneuver of doing something truly atrocious and thinking that everything's OK if you blurt "April Fools!" at the end. You can't kill someone's cat and then shout "April Fools!" and escape punishment. You're going down, daddy. Anyway, have a good one.
- East Side Dave