East Side Dave - Jedi or Sith? Or pervert? Or all of the above?
That article title sounds like a bad radio show name. In any event, don't worry, Dave Pound. Jedi & Sith Master "East Side" Davuus-Wan MacDoogle will gladly clear the snow off your car's windshield and your driveway with his trusty lightsaber. And then after that, Davuus-Wan would like for you to give him a cup of hot chocolate. Otherwise.....well.....let's just say your younglings could be in trouble. Have a great galactic day!