Dave and Mario - fuck buddies?
First of all, I love you. You've been there for me during 2013, watching me publicly masturbate, observing me sticking matchbox cars in my dick-hole, noticing me putting a half-full jar of cum in the women's bathroom, witnessing me extracting the cum from a passed out homeless man so that I could fill the women's bathroom cum jar all the way to the top, and the other wonderful things we experienced together! Here's to 2014!!