Pearl Jam's new album is fucking awesome.

Now, keep in mind, I have been saying this for every single album since the band's first studio recording.  And here we are, ten albums in total, and I'm still saying it.  I have been listening to Pearl Jam's Lightning Bolt pretty much non-stop since I bought it from iTunes yesterday, and the album rocks so hard it's added three-quarters of an inch to my cock length.  It's true.  I measured myself this morning (as I do every Wednesday) , and my dick was 3/4 of an inch bigger.  The only thing that I like better than bonus-cock-size is when my Pomeranian shits on our neighbor's kids' jungle gym.  Oh, and I also rather enjoy kicking random old people in the shins as hard as I fucking can.  Oh, and I love pushing wheelchair-bound people into an elevator and then pressing all the buttons so that they have to stop on every floor.  SUCKERS.