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Going to see the Pietasters on a damned boat tonight!

Boy oh boy, I can't wait! The boat takes off in Manhattan tonight with the Pietasters and booze and Davey Mac and water and finger food and cigarettes and good music and laughter and drunkenness and tomfoolery and chicanery and pissing myself on the way home and "Honey can you stop at the liquor store, I need a twelve-pack of Bud" and late night viewings of Curb Your Enthusiasm and "I feel like watching a rockumentary" and Elio's oven pizza that I stupidly put in the microwave and it becomes all soggy and then I have the shits until seven PM the next night and I gotta pass out now........

This week's Davey Mac Sports Program is up, baby!!

And it's a good one! The number one, independent sports show on iTunes and Stitcher.com is back with a vengeance, brotha's and sista's!! We talk about the NFL's return! Mike Francesa is stupid.  The Orioles can't pull off a bobble-head doll night! And more! Get the show on either iTunes or Stitcher.com (whichever is best for you) from the links on this very website!! Share it with your friends!!! Apply sunscreen twenty minutes before you go outdoors!! Wait 45 minutes to swim after you've eaten!! Don't look wolves in the eyes!!! Adios, amigos!

We are now on G+ (yikes)!

Yessir! You know you can (and you better) follow me on Twitter.com/EastSideDave. And you can like me on the ol' Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/eastsidedave).  Links are at the bottom of this page.  But now we can be friends in this new, beautiful G+ thing on Google! You just need a Gmail account.  Look for me under David McDonald or didvod@gmail.com and I'll add you into my circles!! More social media! More fuckies! MORE SUCKIES!!! More, more, MORE!!! More ways to touch each other's bellies and poop a little!! See ya!!

I thank you, Dave Pound!

Yessir, dogsies, I thank you for your calls and support on Saturday's Special Delivery with Dave and no Sam!  We had fun and it was a good show! The only thing I am upset about is that on the way home we stopped at Burger King and I ate two Whoppers that somehow 36 hours later I am paying for (via the poop).  However I WILL say this: is it me or does Burger King have the best Sprites?  You know how for years McDonald's had a reputation for putting out great-tasting Cokes?  I feel that Burger King does this now with Sprites.  They taste better than regular Sprites.  That is all.

Special Delivery LIVE tomorrow!!

Sirius 206, XM 105- Listen to Special Delivery Starring Sam & Dave LIVE at 8 PM EST (5 in the west)!!! It's gonna be magnificent!! Now, we have no Sam as he is at Comic Con so I need YOU to call in- 866-WOW-1-WOW or email me (from this very website if you want to or from SpecialDeliveryShow.com) so we can talk and suck and buck and tuck!! We're gonna have more fun than dressing up a frog that we caught at the lake like a 1930's gangster.  I used to use a little pretzel rod for the cigar.  What?  You never did that?  I.....um.....I gotta go!!!! Tune in tmw!!!!

Happy Birthday to my wife Casey

Well, I was trying to think of a way to be romantic.  So why not make a video featuring the music and photos of one of my wife's favorite artists- Cyndi Lauper.  And, yes, the video was filmed and edited in the bathroom but I was at work and radio station people can get disturbed by a strange, red-haired man singing "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" at full volume.  So sue me!!! Anyway, here's the video! http://eastsidedavevideos.posterous.com/happy-birthday-casey-a-picture-is-worth-1000

Happy Birthday, Wife!

 

Lord of the Piss

Oh fuckies on sticks. My goodness gracious! This is a letter and video for the New York City Clerk's Office.  On a day where it reached 101 degrees in Manhattan (107 on the heat index), I had to go to 36 Centre St. in order to pick up some Official Documents.  So I'm walking and walking.  Just walking forever like I'm Frodo fucking Baggins; only I had no fat hobbit-kiss-ass-sidekick with snacks by my side.

Instead I was confused, red-headed, and alone.  After walking back and forth and not being able to comprehend why I couldn't find 36 Centre St. (the Clerk's Office), I finally chose a random, official-looking building where I said- "Hey, where is 36 Centre St.?"  The security guard looked at me like I had three dicks.  I repeated this question four more times until I said, "Where is the Clerk's Office?"  He said: "Oh. The Clerk's Office has been moved."  At which point he handed me a flyer detailing the old location of the Clerk's Office, followed by a walking route to the new location.  Thus, HE FUCKING KNEW I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE CLERK'S OFFICE BUT WAS PLAYING STUPID IN ORDER TO ANGER ME WELL GUESS WHAT FATSO IT WORKED!!!!!

I finally, arrived at the Clerk's Office after getting past Sauron and a giant spider, picked up my Official Documents, and threw that fucking cracker jack ring into some lava. The End. Here's a video of me about to have a heart attack:

http://eastsidedavevideos.posterous.com/hey-geez-whiz-thanks-nyc-clerks-officefor-not

A new gorgeous Davey Mac Sports Program is up, dogsies!

....And I tells ya its a good one.  We have it all- Rum, Sodomy, and the Women's Soccer.  Phil Mickelson is batshit nuts.  Sports is fun.  We chant.  Jon Gruden gives us some more "sodsenbocker."  Plus, more!! Take a listen!! Share it with your friends!! Tell your neighbors!! Eat some food, you're looking a little thin! .....Seriously, do you want me to get you something?  I'm driving past Ruby Tuesday's anyway I can pick you up something.  How about a nice burger?  What?? A salad?!?! Come on, live a little!! I'm telling you, you look a little on the light side!!  I DON'T CARE if its a chicken Caesar salad, its still a salad, dammit!! Come on already!!  Fine! Fine you do whatever you want! I'm just saying this cuz I care!!!!

Hot! Hot! Hot!

Geez Louise, it's HOT! We're talking a heat index of 101 today, 103 tomorrow, Dave Pound! You stay indoors and make sure you're hydrated! Shit! I'm so hot, I'm starting to hallucinate that I'm Buster Poindexter! That's HOT!

I'm gonna go see Harry Potter this afternoon just to get out of the heat which is weird because my house has air conditioning!!! I says HOT!

I'm gonna pour a barrel of ice water on my head like I'm post-Super Bowl-win Bill Parcells!! And I've never coached professional football in my fucking life!! We be HOT!

Hey, Heat (both the team and the weather)---FUCK YOU!  It's HOT!!!

 

Check out the Davey Sports Program Video Snippet for July 13!

It's in the Latest Video section on this site! If you missed any others, check out the Video Gallery or my Youtube Channel for older Video Snippets or comedy videos! In this one: Tru TV comedian Mike Trainor, Pepper and his Sunglasses, Sean O and his Beer, and Roy and his Weirdness/Dave and his Awesomeness. Good shit, homies! Check out the show on iTunes and/or Stitcher.com and if you like it, maybe give it a 5 Star Review! Thanks, homies!

Thanks to ALL who came to the 2nd Annual Davey Mac Sports Program Wiffle Ball Tournament!

It was a rousing success and great fun! We had an awesome time. To all who came- thank you! And if you missed it we may have another one this October! If not, then we'll see you next year.  I myself hit many home runs including this one which was FAIR!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9vfzo7sXFI

Look at that ball! How can you say foul?!?! Bastards!! Next time we need instant replay for such moments because I was ROBBED!! Anyway, my teams won two out of three games so I was happy.  I was also named (by myself) Game 2 MVP.  See you guys later!

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Listen to the Davey Mac Sports Program on iTunes or Stitcher.com.  Get the link on this site in the Current Projects section on the Main Page.  See ya's!!

The All Star Hostel Part 2 Game

I wanted to watch the All Star Game in its entirety.  I really did.  And I certainly DVR'ed it.  But this thing was quite long; and at times quite tedious.  And I say this as a huge baseball lover and long-time fan of the All Star Game. But come on already. So I flipped back and forth between the game and Hostel Part 2. And only one of the two shows started off their program by telling us about the murder of six people by a crazed gunman; including the killing of a little girl.  No, it was not Hostel Part 2 that began in this fashion but the All Star Game. A fucking baseball game!!!

I am pleading with those that run major American sporting events- please for the Love of Jesus stop having some morbid opening ceremony that features dead kids, paralyzed soldiers, blind musicians, people with debilitating diseases, or anything else scary or sad before what's supposed to be a joyful athletic competition.  This also includes having Sloth from Goonies sing the National Anthem or Verne Troyer riding a little bicycle before the game.

I'm not trying to be insensitive.  I feel bad for these people.  I really do.  And it is because I feel bad that any excitement I have for the game leaves me when we have to hear these traumatic stories that could be addressed on 60 Minutes and not on a program where seconds later a big-headed, blue mascot runs onto the field with sparklers and slips on an over-sized banana peel while the newest Country Music Star sings about "America and Orphans With Scurvy."

Meanwhile Hostel 2 had a scene where kids started to play soccer with the head of one of the characters. Criss cross. I was getting my sports from a Horror movie and my horror from televised sports.

And in closing, Joe Buck strikes me as one of those rich deviants in the Hostel universe that pays large sums of money to torture and kill people in a cold factory. I'd like someone to check his bank records to see if he takes any trips to Slovakia during the off-season.

 

 

 

Davey Mac Sports Program Presents: Third Annual Wiffle Ball Tournament

Davey Mac Sports Program Presents: Third Annual Wiffle Ball Tournament

Time
Saturday, July 16 · 2:00pm - 5:00pm
Location
Thompson Park, Lincroft, NJ
Created By
Davey Mac Sports Podcast presents The Third ANNUAL MCDONALD WIFFLE BALL TOURNAMENT! Wear some comfy clothes, Bring a few bottles of water and get ready for a sweet ass game. Rain or shine. WE DOOZ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell all your friends!!!!! See you there!!!

The Hits Keep Coming!

The site crashed today because we got something like a million hits over the weekend. Insane! But we found a new server that can take up to a billion hits so we'll be in good shape.  I thank you for your patronage people! And as a token of my gratitude here's a picture of an old man with a hat.

Watching children is hard work.

My wife has gone down to North Carolina until Monday; leaving me with two insane toddlers, and feeling like some sort of Cameran Crowe-movie single-dad where things will be OK, utterly fall apart, and then be OK again. Except in this film, the feel-good third act probably won't take place. There was some thunder in New Jersey last night which scared the Holy Piss out of my kids. And not the good, Bruce Springsteen kind.  I mean actual thunder.  This occurred at 1 AM.  Both of my kids started screaming so abruptly and hysterically I thought they were little Uma Thurman's from Pulp Fiction after she received the adrenalin shot.

It's funny to hear a three-year-old girl shout at you, "Daddy, what the Hell was THAT?!?!"

I of course, being the Anti-Mom with no ability to calm down and assure children that things will be alright, replied with a panicked yell of my own: "I have no idea!!! Let's just get down on the floor!!!!!"

So we proceeded to hide on the ground like we were doing a 1950's nuclear bomb drill.

 

We did not go to sleep and now I am at work.  Watching children is hard fucking work.

 

 

 

Great July 4th weekend but now I think I may be dying.

My left ear is once again totally closed down for business.  This is the second time in a week that I have gone swimming and emerge the next day with a throbbing ear that is totally useless.  I now require one of those old-timey, hearing things that people from the '40's needed when their hearing left them.

 

I could use a special brand of ear drops which contains the ingredients of lava and leeches.  In the meantime I am jamming a heated fork into my head to relieve the pressure.  This isn't helping but at least I have begun to hallucinate.

Here is a link of me singing/assaulting others with drunken deafness at an otherwise wonderful party.

http://moby.to/s2eic6

Special Delivery LIVE tonight at 8 PM EST!!

Special Delivey Starring Sam & Dave LIVE tonight at 8 PM EST, 5 in the West on Sirius 206, XM 105!! As Salt 'N Pepa said- "We're gonna push it! Push it real good!!"  This show is gonna be packed with so much shit, we might rename it The Toilet Bowl Starring Sam & Dave!! Trust me!!!

Hey Blackberry, suck it!!!

That's God-Damned right, Blackberry!! Suck it, you son of a bitch!!!  All you did was stop working in the middle of important phone calls, randomly play music during job interviews, and act like an all-around piece of shit!!! Thank God for you, iPhone.  I'm glad you are now in my life and Blackberry is gone. You are good, iPhone.  And clean.  And nice.

Not like you, you fucking dirtbag of a cell phone, Blackberry!!! Good riddance you shitty piece of shit!!!!

http://post.ly/2JVzf

 

 

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