Talk shows need monologues we guess. We don't know why. Maybe God told talk show hosts that they have to do them. So here is one from the EAST SIDE DAVE SHOW. Watch the #ESDS every Tuesday at 7 PM (EST) and catch every episode archived on CompoundMedia.com.
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Let's Have A Happy Day!
We're all smiles here at East Side Dave Country! The birds are chirping, Mom is sobbing hysterically, Dad is wielding an ax...it's "fun times" is what I say! See you peoples later!
- Davey Boy
We Earthlings Are The Best!
To any aliens out there reading this...if you're so tough, come and get me!! Yeah!!! That's right!!! I'm still here!! Typing my dumb ass away!!! Humans rule!! You hear that you outer-space-nobodies?! HUMANS RULE!!! Muhahahahaha!!!
Grab Hold Of The Ropes Short Round!
Take a a firm fold on those ropes, kid! And tell Willie to do the same (or not...she's a little bit annoying with the constant screaming and whatnot). And whatever you do, do NOT let Mola Ram rip the heart out of your chest. Trust me, Rolaids can't help you with a ripped-out heart, homie, Have a nice day!
- East Side Dave
Let's Have A Party.
That's what weekends are for, ain't they?! Let's take off our pants and throw eggs at people and go pee-pee on our lawn and smear blood on our faces and have a good ol' time! PARTAY!!!!
- East Side Dave
I Might Be Sick...But That Does Not Prevent Me From Bringing The ROCK.
...And you best believe that, son. I'm sitting here in the glorious studios at WRAT, 95.9, sweating bullets, feverish, hallucinogenic, and feeling the strange sensation that spiders are crawling on my body. But the Dave Man is a Champion. And Champions don't quit. They fight. See ya later, fellow Champion.
- East Side Dave
A New EAST SIDE DAVE SHOW Is Up On Compoundmedia.com!
Oh, HELL yeah! It's a controversial and eternally awesome episode of the always-dangerous EAST SIDE DAVE SHOW! And it is available NOW on CompundMedia.com! We relentlessly attack one of our own! We have a major party! Dominant songs are played! Evilness is ensued! And psychedelic excellence is had!! Watch the EAST SIDE DAVE SHOW now on CompoundMedia.com!
- East Side Dave
The East Side Dave Show: "In The Fifth...Your Ass Goes Down."
The night of the fight, you may feel a slight sting. That's pride...pride only hurts, it never helps. The East Side Dave Show, on the other hand...it only helps...it never hurts. Now get outta here, dogsie.
After The Movie with East Side Dave: Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
David continues his new, hit show, After The Movie with East Side Dave, with a review of Willy Wonka, which he just saw in the theater with his adoring children.
After The Movie with East Side Dave: Sully
After The Movie with East Side Dave is the new, hit, LIVE, Periscope show where David talks about a movie while in the theater after he's seen it. It's like a really bad Siskel & Ebert! Enjoy this review of Sully!
Come And Get Some, Sucka!
Darth Daveus ain't messin' around, bubba. He's welcoming all challengers. Daveus has no fear. Instead, he has absolute POWER.
...Or perhaps this is just the combination of DayQuil and Percocet talking.
Have a nice day.
- Darth Daveus
Before Tonight's WWE Backlash, Tune In To The EAST SIDE DAVE AND SON WRESTLING SHOW!
That's right! The explosive EAST SIDE DAVE AND SON WRESTLING SHOW is now up with killer predictions and prognostications on this site in the Wrestling Show section!! Davey Mac and Stanley Mac give you hard-hitting commentary on the WWE and tonight's Backlash pay-per-view! Listen NOW in the Wrestling Show section!! BAM!
Today We Party.
I've bought myself some tickets to the 5:00 PM showing of Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory...and I am psyched, daddy. I'm now eating candy bars and gumballs intensely...preparing for the movie...waiting...like a sweets-devouring snake...like...the Irish Cobra. Have a nice day.
- East Side Dave
Let's Get The Papers! Get The Papers!
Don't worry about Morrie, DavePound. He talks so much no one believes a word he says anyway. Carbone, on the other hand, should probably be put in a freezer next to some Klondike Bars. Let's have a good one!
- East Side Dave
Let's Make Today Special.
It's pilot-extraordinaire Davey here saying let's fly through the skies with no fuss...and certainly no muss. The clouds belong to us, Dave Pound. Believe and it will be so. Have a nice day.
- East Side Dave
A New Episode Of The East Side Dave And Son Wrestling Show Is Now Up!
Oh YEAH, brother! Davey Mac and Stanley Mac are BACK with another explosive episode of The East Side Dave And Son Wrestling Show! Check it out in the Wrestling Show section on THIS site! The two cruiserweights discuss this Sunday's WWE Pay-Per-View...Backlash! Impressions are done! Points are awarded! And a Champion is declared! Listen to The East Side Dave And Son Wrestling Show right NOW in the Wrestling Show section on THIS site!
This Week's EAST SIDE DAVE SHOW Is Now Up On Compound Media!
YES, dogsie! After our restful vacation, the always-dangerous EAST SIDE DAVE SHOW is back with a vengeance and 200% more off-the-rails than ever! Check it out on CompoundMedia.com! We throw a Dave's-Been-Verified-Party, talk to Big A and Bobo, ogle Flutesy, get bewildered by Roy, and MORE! Watch the #ESDS on CompoundMedia.com right NOW!!
Back To School! Back To Work! Back To Dominating The Galaxy!
Let's go, daddy! It's time to get our motors revved up and barrel down the Highway of Domination together! Sorry for all the car metaphors! The kids are off to school...and WE are ready to partay! Let us bring the lightning today, dogsie! BAM!
- East Side Dave
Have A Great Labor Day, Dogsie!
You deserve this day off. So take it. Enjoy the stuffing out of it. Chop it up into little pieces and swallow it whole, baby. Put some rubber gloves on and get into this day off like there's no tomorrow. Put on your sexiest outfit and woo the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks out of this day off. Take this day off to the pool where you can ogle in-shape people to such a creepy extent that you are asked to leave said pool. You've earned this day off, dogsie...enjoy.
- East Side Dave
The East Side Dave Show Is Back In Two Days.
We know you've been jonesing. We have been, too. We've been walking around, talking to ourselves, lighting our feet on fire, singing to animals, spray-painting old people, inventing killer robots, petting our dinosaurs, playing Connect Four with animals, and cuddling dynamite. We're ready. The EAST SIDE DAVE SHOW is back on CompoundMedia.com on Tuesday. Thank you, Lord.
- East Side Dave