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Well, that's it for Aaron Hernandez. The former Patriots tight end and highly disturbing individual has been found GUILTY on all counts including 1st-degree murder. He will receive life without possibility of parole. Hernandez showed no emotion after the verdict was read.
- Davey Mac
I'm ready to join those fruit-loop aliens on stage at that Star Wars dive-bar and rock the Holy Heck-fire out of the day, dogsie. Join me. Join Jedi David as he uses the Force to crush the day with smiles and smokes and dilated pupils and all-around fun-ness!! Bring it the lightning!!
- East Side Dave
...The year was 1991. And a film, based in the beautiful Garden State, would emerge as a lasting depiction of the New Jersey Turnpike, Digital Underground, and weird, fat twins. The movie...was Nothing But Trouble. I remember HBO running this flick what seemed to be every other day for a while; and the Dave Man watched it each and every time. I began to realize, as a blossoming young teenager, that that Demi Moore person was making my boy parts tingle. Then there is Dan Aykroyd in horrible make-up as "The Judge", the second most evil character in movie history behind the Emperor. Chevy Chase and John Candy were also in the film. But a big shout-out to Digital Underground (Yes, the rap group that gave us the poetic, musical classic, "The Humpty Dance"). God bless you, Nothing But Trouble, you made my home-state of New Jersey look like the scariest and utterly freakiest place on the face of the planet Earth. This has been a cinema review......by........
- East Side Dave
East Side Dave: Planet Earth-Destroyer?
If I were to pick a job that I am certainly not qualified for, it would be working computers at some sort of nuclear facility. If the Dave Man was left in charge of said technology, it would probably take about seven minutes before the entire world was in jeopardy of a nuclear-meltdown-explosion-disaster-apocalypse. Anyway, have a good day!!
- East Side Dave
That is correct. I've just blessed this particular article with specially-made, East Side Dave Karma-Dust. Don't bother asking me what the unique ingredients to the ESD Karma-Dust are...you would be thoroughly disgusted and/or the F.B.I. would kick my door down. Just know that by reading this exquisite article, full of wisdom and poo, that you shall now receive Good Karma for the rest of the week. Good day.
- Davey Mac
That is what the Seven Kingdoms were invented for, daddy. For Sir East Side Daveth to fly his red banner (ew) and keep you safeth. Beware of White Walkers, dragons, and strange men in trench-coats, Sir Daveth advices. Winter is coming? No, dogsie. East Side Dave is coming......so have plenty of Cool Ranch Doritos ready.
- Dave
Tonight is the premier of the best show on television, Game Of Thrones. You know it. And I know it. It's a pop cultural phenomenon, it's a critical success, it's got zombie snow creatures, indiscriminate nudity, blood-chilling violence, dragons being mothered by a hot blonde chick, eyeball-popping duels, Little People, black magic smoke-assassins, and a poopful of other awesome stuff. Happy Game Of Thrones Day to you, you sword-wielding freak-face!! Peace!!
- East Side Dave
Well, I, for one, cannot wait until the premier of Season 5 of HBO's brilliant show, Game Of Thrones. In preparation for the program, I'm currently bathing in the blood of my enemies (it's good for your pores). Next, I intend on pouring liquid gold on the head of someone I dislike. And lastly, I'm roasting my marshmallows with the fire from one of my three, pet dragons. Bring the the pain, Game Of Thrones......we're ready.
Enjoy your end of the week (if you have a Monday through Friday job, I should say). What's the Dave Man going to do with himself? After the show on WRAT, 95.9 The Rat, I intend on watching that two-part, Frank Sinatra documentary on HBO while eating some magical brownies. Peace, baby!
-East Side Dave
Today begins The Masters. And while most people don't get excited by golf, because the Dave Man is obsessed with sports, he'll be locking himself away in the garage and watching as much coverage of these khaki-pants-wearing freakballs as he can before he decides to change his living room into a miniature golf course. If you putt it over the dog and into the Jabba the Hutt doll's mouth, you get TWO strokes off your score, dogsie! Have a good day!
- East Side Dave
I wouldn't say if it weren't true, Friend-O-Mine. You see, I never lie to you, Pal-O-Dave. I always give it to you straight, Chum-O-Me. Today, the Carl & Dave are gonna rock the morning so hard, small animals shall run for cover. If you live in the NJ/NY/PA states, then tune in to WRAT.com for the show!! Weekdays at 6 AM!! BOOM, baby, BOOM!!!
- East Side Dave
That's right!! It's an epic Davey Mac Sports Program that features Final Four talk, The Masters predictions, MLB Opening Day, Kim Mattingly, insanity, Umbro's, killer instincts, mentally disturbed people, and MORE!! Check it out on this site in the DMSP Player section!! And enjoy, daddy!!
And THEN, listen to our monthly, movie-based, radio show, The Watchers!! Birdman, Budapest Hotel, Game Of Thrones, craziness, accusations, fun nonsense, crimes, Human Centipede, and MORE!! Visit The Watchers section (under the radio shows tab) on this site!! Peace!!
- East Side Dave
That's the rumor...that I just made up ten seconds ago. Still, if you're Quentin Tarantino and you're reading this, I'd like to throw my hat in the ring for a supporting character role. I've got the chops, Q.T. And if you're NOT Tarantino and you're reading this, could you let him know about my wishes? Thank you, dogsie. Check out the Morning Rat Race with Carl & Dave (and Gotts) at 6 AM (EST)!! On WRAT, 95.9 The Rat!! See you at the movies, Q.T.!!
- East Side Dave
Oh, heck yes, you want to rock it, dogsie. You want to to crush it. You want to dominate it. You want to touch it. You want to destroy it. You want to massage it. You want to annihilate it. You want to caress it. That's what you want to do. Well, fear not. The Morning Rat Race is here to rock it with you!! On WRAT, 95.9 The Rat!! Bring it!
- East Side Dave
Crazy-Eyed Dave Hit Nearly .400 In JV.
It's Major League Baseball's Opening Day...and the Dave Man is psyched, daddy. Look at that stance. That stance propelled young Davey Mac to a .389 average on his high school JV baseball team. Could the Dave Man have made varsity the next year? Sure, baby. But your "East Side" Dave was already into what he calls his "Syd Barrett years." Baseball-playing dropped by the wayside. But that doesn't mean I still don't love watching the stuffing out of it. I plan on eating four hot dogs, a bucket of popcorn, and maybe a small animal as I sit and bask in the glow....of the return.....of Baseball.
- East Side Dave
Happy Easter, Dave-Pound!
"I wish to extend to each of you — and to each of your families — my best wishes for a Happy Easter." Remember that? That was what Tommy Lee Jones' character (Clay Shaw) said to Kevin Costner (Jim Garrison) in the film JFK. For some strange reason, that's one of the first things I think of when I think of Easter. How odd. Anyway, hope your day is a good one, no matter what you celebrate!! The Dave Man is cool with it, dogsie! Peace!!
- East Side Dave
Well, seconds before the Easter Egg Hunt, I was intense and ready to go. I hd my game-face glued onto my skull (in fact, I had taken it from Dick Butkus against his will a la Face/Off with Nic Cage and John Travolta). And as the fog rolled in, the Dave Man was frozen out. People were getting their eggs with rocket speed (first person to six wins). And BAM! BAM-BAM!! That was it. The Egg Hunt was over. And your Davey Mac had finished in last place. Bad showing.
- East Side Dave
While the other horses in today's race (The 40th Annual McDonald Children Easter Egg Hunt) may be slightly long in the tooth, I myself am in my prime, dogsie. And I have put in the training. Some people have expressed, "Davey Mac, you seem to have lost weight." It's because of the Egg Hunt, baby. I've been running on beaches, drinking raw eggs, bench-pressing Hobbits, curling Ewoks, punting Leprechauns.......doing EVERYthing in my power to be in perfect, physical condition for today. My many years of finishing in last place is over. This is my John Elway moment, daddy. This is the Dave Man's time to hurdle years of disappointment in order to raise that Golden Egg at the end. Champion. Bring it on. Have a nice day, dogsie.
- East Side Dave
It's been a long week, dogsie. It's time to have a cocktail or smoke or a nap or jelly beans or whatever you happen to be into. I say we just raid Jabba the Hutt's party ship and go nuts. Enjoy your weekend.
- East Side Dave
The guys give you inaccurate, probably drunken, definitely insane predictions for the Final Four. From the March 31st, 2015 DAVEY MAC SPORTS PROGRAM! Subscribe on iTunes and listen with the DMSP Player!