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Have A Great Weekend, Peeps!

I want you's all to have a great weekend!  But I want you's to stay the heck away from the tractor beam!!  By the way, why am I saying "you's"?!  What am I, in the damned Sopranos?!  Regardless, enjoy life, baby!!  Get those Death Star plans!!  Peace!!  WRAT.com!!

- East Side Dave

Little East Side Dave: Alien-Child?

I wish I could tell you what was going on in this Throwback Thursday pic.  But alas, dogsie, I cannot.  I barely recognize the evil/vacant stare in that small boy's eyes.  I know that kid is me.  I found this in the Dave Has Always Been Crazy photo album.  But I don't know what has happened to my hair, nor why I appear to be wearing a yellow jumpsuit.  This is just lunacy.  I'm thinking some kind of alien abduction and experimentation has taken place on Little David here.  Enjoy your day.

- East Side Dave

One Million Davey Mac Sports Program Fans Can't Be Wrong.

It has been brought to my attention (thank you, Sean O), that the Davey Mac Sports Program has hit over one MILLION downloads.  That's truly amazing.  I just wanted to thank everyone in the Dave-Pound, and all the dogsies throughout these years who have stayed hard-core and loyal and listened to our show.  Very over-whelmed.  I also want to give a special thanks to Pepper, Sean O, and Roy Shaffer...as well as the other wonderful members and guests of our program.  Everyone brings a lot to the table and it is always fun.  Check out the show in the DMSP Player section on this site!!  Thanks again....to everyone!!!

- Davey Mac

All Of The Yankees Are Injured: An Open Letter To The Captain.

With all due respect, it's time to stop with your silly website, Derek Jeter, and come out of retirement to play shortstop for the Yankees.  Not only is your successor, Didi Gregarius (who, let's be honest, most people have never heard of), injured; but Didi's BACKUP, Brendan Ryan (who even fewer people have heard of), is NOW hurt, too.  And so the Yanks have just bought infielder Gregorio Petit (who NO ONE has heard of) from the Astros.  As a result, I am openly petitioning the Captain, Derek Jeter, to triumphantly return like General Douglas MacArthur to the Bronx Bombers and save the 2015 season.  Thank you, Mr. Jeets.

- East Side Dave

I'm Going Blind.......

.....April Fool's!!!!  Hahahahahahaha!!!!  My vision is like a damned eagle's!!  I got you and you fell for it!!  Don't deny it!!  You fell for it!!  Don't you damn-well deny it!!

.......Actually, I've never been a big April Fool's Day guy.  When I was six, my mom said that she was getting me a pony.  I got all excited.  Then, she shouted "April Fool's!!  You're not getting anything!!"  This is a true story.

First of all, not only did I not have any clear concept of what April Fool's Day was as a six-year-old, I barely knew what April was, what months were, or even how calendars worked.

That is all.

- East Side Dave

My Bulletin Board At WRAT.

As I look at it, it's a cross between something one would see on 'True Detective', combined with the room of an insane toddler who is obsessive-compulsive, sprinkled with a little bit of John Malcovich's weird shrine in In The Line Of Fire.  It's fun....scary....nightmarish....eye-opening....and possibly hallucinogenic.  Let's have a great day on  WRAT 95.9 The RAT!! 

- East Side Dave

Comedy Central Fails With This Trevor Noah Character.

I guess that Comedy Central chose the successor to Jon Stewart as host of 'The Daily Show'.  His name is Trevor Noah.  And it took the Internet exactly 3.8 seconds to find out that this lunatic from South Africa made all kinds of anti-Semitic and anti-woman and sometimes anti-Semitic-woman remarks on Twitter.  Looks like this guy is done before he even got started.  Which is why I'll submit my name, "East Side" Dave McDonald, to be the new host of 'The Daily Show'.  You're welcome for bailing you out, Comedy Central.  But keep in mind, I want to keep my excellent gig on the morning show on Jersey's legendary rock station, WRAT 95.9 The RAT.  Also, I don't want to talk politics.  Yeah, I know, that seems to be an odd thing for the new host of 'The Daily Show' to say.  But political talk is OUT with the Dave Man.....and Game Of Thrones talk is IN.  You're welcome, Comedy Central.

- Davey Mac 

Take A Look At These Photos That I'm Holding.

Are they family photos?  Are they evidence of some kind?  Are they inspirational pics?  Or are they self-warnings, "Stay sane, Davey Mac."  One should see the bulletin board which I use in the office at WRAT.  It looks like a cross between Jim Garrison's and Hannibal Lecter's.  That is all.

- East Side Dave

SportsCenter And Eggs?

I was watching SportsCenter when I noticed the Twitter handle of one of the "anchors".  So I checked it out.  I was treated to a tweet that said, quote: "Ummmm so HOW CUTE are these deviled Easter Bunny Eggs I made?!?" 

Um, I don't know.  I don't usually find deviled eggs, or any eggs for that matter...cute.  Anyway, I clicked the SportsCenter anchor's link......and DAMN, those eggs were MAD CUTE!!!  Nice job, lady!!! 

- Davey Mac

 

The Universe Is Trending.

Everything is always trending.  WrestleMania.  The Final Four.  Amanda Knox.  Bubble Gum.  Farts.  Imperial Probe Droids.  Ducks.  Cartoon Villains.  Flu Shots.  Jenny McCarthy.  Blow-Up Dolls.  Farts. 

You know what the Dave Man believes in?  YOU'RE trending, dogsie.  YOU.  Bam.  Now go off and have a good day.

- East Side Dave

East Side Dave and YOU = Magic!

You and me, dogsie.  That's what it takes to make magic.  Just by reading this magical article by the Dave Man, you've given yourself 35 to 40% more magic.  Also, you may not have noticed, but I magically broke into your house last night and sprinkled some unicorn-magic-dust on your forehead while you were sleeping.  Then, I whisked my pantsless self away on my giant, flying, Magic-Mouse.  See you this morning on WRAT.com, magic-baby!

- East Side Dave

JFK - Limited Edition

I just opened my giant, special edition, Blu Ray version of the film JFK.  In this box of 1960's treasures, includes a JFK for President poster, copies of family photographs and letters, and a book called "Quotations Of John F. Kennedy".  I opened it up and, after being struck by several passages, I shallowly decided to do what a person in 2015 would do upon reading such thoughtful literature......I took a disgusting selfie of myself reading said book.  However, in my attempt to appear intelligent, I probably should have chosen a better background.....and not one that included Doctor Teeth from the Muppets, my Star Wars lunchbox, and a framed picture of the cast of "Beverly Hills 90210".  Alas, this shall be a meaningful and thought-provoking quote from David D. McDonald:

“When thy takes a selfie, try not to look so stupid.”

- This has been correspondence from East Side Dave.

Good Morning! Let's Try To Have A Great Sunday!

I'll admit it...that Notre Dame loss to Kentucky (68 to 66), gave me nightmares last night.  I dreamed of leprechauns getting eaten alive by wildcats while screeching bloodily, "Save us, O'Davey Mac!!  The cats be O'bitin' us!!"  But alas, no help was to be found for those poor, tiny, Irish bastards.  At least I was able to collect a couple of gold coins they left behind before they were consumed.

In any event, as I always say, today's a NEW day!  Turn the page!  Hang in there!  And.....wait....nope...I'm just flipping through a Hallmark calendar.  I don't say those things at all.

The point it, let's enjoy this Sunday, dogsie.  I have my Darth Vader Paper Route to go on, and then it's the last two games of the Elite Eight.  Peace!!

- East Side Dave

 

Notre Dame Depressingly Loses To Kentucky....which means NOTHING for YOU, Jabba!

Kentucky barely got past Notre Dame in the Elite Eight of March Madness - 68 to 66, with a chance for the Irish to hit a three and win the game at the end.  I so badly wanted Notre Dame to win, I was willing to part with my two droids to the reviled, Tatooine gangster, Jabba the Hutt.  But alas, with this crushing loss, Jabba ain't gettin' nothing from the Dave Man.  Freeze me in Carbonite if you have to, Jabba.  I'm frozen in pain already.  Hopefully tomorrow though, Princess Leia will thaw my sports-addicted behind out; and the world will return to normalcy. 

- East Side Dave Skywalker

 

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