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Davey Mac - Hit .389 in JV.
I must be honest with you. I am jones-ing to do a Davey Mac Sports Program. But we are still on vacation aka HELL this week! So I encourage you to visit the DMSP PLAYER section of this site and listen to previous episodes that you may have missed! And we'll be back the week of August 7th & 8th (come back to this site for the exact date)! Until then, I plan on gluing my dick to things...like your shoulder. See you in a week!!
No fighting.
No spitting.
No hair-pulling.
No extraneous jizz.
No farting on animals.
No tickling with your pants off.
No fucking your puppets.
Instead, let's take out our piss-pipes and have a good ol' time! Yay! Let's have a great fucking week!
Lt. David Hawkeye......MIA
Thank God It's Fuck-day, right?! Hahahaha!!!!
.......Sorry.....I'm still on crazy antibiotics for my gangrene-foot. This thing is beginning to look as dark as the stains on my underwear! Boomsie!!
David McDonald - America's Poet Laureate
.........And boy are my arms tired!!!! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
.....Sorry......um......sorry for that. It didn't even make sense. They gave me 1,000 milligrams of a medicine named Smilex after I stepped on glass and I've been acting strangely ever since. I have the sudden urge to choke out Batman and rip him a new Bat-hole!!!! Yeeeeeeehhhhhaaaawwww!!!!!
.....Sorry........sorry for that again.
A fond East Side Dave Country Happy Birthday to one of the greatest guitarists ever- Mr. Slash! He was nice enough to sign my Guitar Hero guitar once, and I was nice enough not to fart on him. Happy Birthday, Slashy!!
Arnold, Dave, and Dudley - Three Chums
That is correct! The homies are on much-needed vacations (except Dave, who will be sitting alone in a dark room, talking to himself about LeBron James). So there will be no Davey Mac Sports Program this week and next week, and then we're back on Wednesday, August 6th!! You can still hear previous episodes on this site in the DMSP PLAYER section! Thanks for listening and for all the support!! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to touch it.
Davey & The Hound - coming this September to seriously disturb your children's Saturday morning cartoon routine with this blood-thirsty yet cuddly Game Of Thrones spinoff! I figure I just need around eighty-seven million dollars to secure the rights to the show from HBO, plus money for other production expenditures like pot and dick lube. Davey & The Hound - coming this Fall!
Dave Ventura Solo - Adventurer
Why do Sunday's get the shaft? What did they ever to us, except lose us thousands of dollars on football because Dan Marino, with time running out against the Jets, didn't down the ball to stop the clock, but rather he faked spiking it and threw for a game-winning touchdown. Cost me two hundred bucks.....and I was like......17. Sometimes I wish Lieutenant Einhorn took her big Ray Finkle dick out and gave Marino the Pulp Fiction treatment while chanting "Laces OUT!!!" This has been an editorial from David "Why Are My Pants Wet" McDonald.
One of the all-time and most under-rated fucking rock drummers ever. We learned through the "Internet" that he may have had a heart attack. Shit! Prayers with Herb!!
Davey Mac - Possible Drug Lord?
Why shouldn't I? I have nothing against you. Even if you did try to burn me alive while I was in the trunk of a Buick because you thought I stole $50,000 from your drug cartel. But I didn't. Not saying names, but it might have been my mom, or Pepper, or Don Mattingly, or anyone but me so that you don't make another attempt on my life. Anyway, have a great weekend, Dave Pound!!
With ESPN inventing their own pat-themselves-on-the-back award called the ESPY's, the Dave Man has decided to give his own equally insignificant award, egotistically named the Davey's. Here are the following winners of the 2014 Davey's:
1. Me for creating these awards.
2. The cast of Jaws for killing that fucking shark.
3. Exiled people.
4. Edith Bunker for getting out of a very bad situation.
5. The Davey Mac Sports Program for being the BEST SHOW EVER.
ESPN's Chris Berman and his hero- Dave McDonald
It's true, ESPN. You should re-name it the ASSY's. Having an awards show that YOU invented for the reason of celebrating YOUR television station is preposterously arrogant and self-congratulatory. We already have awards-winners in sports: they're the guys who at the end of the season have won the awards given to them by their actual fucking sport!!!!!! And how can you have a "Best Team" category? Yes, I'm sure the Seahawks are better than the Spurs........in fucking FOOTBALL!!!! Turn that shit around and get some hoops going and I doubt that short bastard Russell Wilson will score more than six points!! Hey, ESPY's, go screw a duck!!! This has been a message from America's Journalist and Editorialist - David "What's That Brown Stain Doing There" McDonald.
If I was a Cuban refugee in the early '80's, I'm sure I would have also gotten into the criminal game just like "Scarface". But, I don't think I could stomach throwing people out of helicopters and shooting fuckers in the head all the time. My crime syndicate would probably revolve around me stealing furniture and selling it for low, low prices. Bam!! Don't fuck with the Dave-Face!!!
Davey Mac and fellas discuss unnecessary glasses and perform an ode to the Sex Pistols! Subscribe on iTunes or listen here on this site with the DMSP Player!
Dave-o Corleone
I'm sorry, but it's true. Fredo stunk. Long before that pinhead for a Corleone son couldn't control his slut-bag of a wife at Michael's son's communion party in Part II. And way before he stupidly betrayed Michael (his own damned brother, for Pete's sake) because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. And even before he stuck up for that soon-to-be one-eyed piece of shit, Moe Green, over his own damned family, let's not forget one important Fredo Corleone moment. He was acting as his aging dad's driver/security guy (though I'm pretty sure Verne Troyer would have been a better bodyguard) when his father (Vito Corleone) was shot by some Mafia thugs while the old man was simply trying to buy some God-Damned oranges. And what did Fredo do? He got out of the car and dropped the fucking gun. Then he sat on the curb like an idiot and screamed "PAPA!!!" over and over again. Hey, Fredo, your dad's still breathing!!! How about calling 9-1-1, you fucking dumbski?!?!
Here's a video snippet from the July 15, 2014 Davey Mac Sports Program which kicks the butt really hard!! Subscribe on iTunes or listen here on this site with the DMSP Player!
The Dave Terminator is here to save us all.
I would lie to you....but I just can't do it. I care too much for you. As a result, I am informing you that, yes, indeed this week's episode of the award-winning* Davey Mac Sports Program is NOW available on this site in the DMSP PLAYER section and/or our professional online radio network- RiotCast.com! And make sure you're subscribing to the audio brilliance on iTunes! The guys perform a mini-rock concert that makes the Rolling Stones look like old robots powered by feces! We musically crush it so hard that even Paul McCartney said, "I'm afraid of Dave. I think I saw him sniffing old shoes of mine that I had thrown away in the garbage." Enjoy the BEST show anywhere - the Davey Mac Sports Program! BAM!!!
* BEST in Show: iTunes Editorial Team
* Best New Show: Stitcher.com
* What's Hot Award: iTunes Preview Channel
That's 100% correct, muchachos. Figuring that the award-winning Davey Mac Sports Program will be OFF on July 22nd AND July 29th due to personal/medical/vacational/jizz-hole reasons (and then BACK on Wednesday July 6th), I've decided eye infection or no eye infection we will BE LIVE this evening at 7:30 (Eastern Standard Time) right HERE on ESDC in the LIVE show section!! Hey, eye infection, even if I have to cut you out of my damned skull with an old wooden spoon, we're doing this fucking Program!! Suck you later.....dick!!!!
Davey Mac - Kills small animals with his "Eye".
Hey! Knock first!!!
Seriously. I'm not some negative-thinking asshole, hoping for the worst in people. Rather, I'd like EVERYONE to have a splendid, sunny day filled with good Karma. Oh, EXCEPT Hitler. He was a fucking jerk. I hope his day is filled with reading romance novels. He'll probably cut his little, deformed, demon dick off out of boredom. That's what he gets. This has been David "Any Rooney" McDonald saying : "Good evening, America. Don't put glue on your dick-hole. it prevents the pee from escaping."
Davey Mac re-enacts the famous scene from Jaws where Chief Brody just sat in his chair while some dopey kid was content to be shark lunch and Chief did Jack & Shit. Chief just sat there like like a frozen meatball. Meanwhile, little Alex Kitner (whose hands were beginning to prune) is DEAD as disco. Thanks a lot, Chief.