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Davey Mac - disgruntled 7-11 fan.
True story. I was standing on line and a portly woman wearing a pink tank-top with some kind of fish on it emitted poison gas from her buttocks into my face. FYI- she also had a classy pair of blood-stained shorts on, way too small for her, that revealed body parts that resembled the Sarlacc Pit. I even think I saw Boba Fett fly into her "area" once. It was not pleasant. Needless to say, I got my Coke-Cherry-Coke Slurpee and all is good.
I think it went like:
Don' worry, be happy, just go make a smile and put a gun to your landlord's fucking head......
......come to think of it. That was an evil song.
"Don't Worry Be Happy"
I was enjoying a documentary on 2001: A Space Odyssey when the author of the book, Arthur C. Clarke, said something that struck me. He informed us that it is estimated that since the beginning of time, 100 billion humans have walked the Earth. Interestingly, there are 100 billion stars in our galaxy. This means that for every human that has ever existed, he or she technically could have their own universe.
Let me tell you something, daddy. If the Dave Man has his own solar system, we are gonna fuckin' ROCK, dawg. We're gonna have space parties every other day. Furthermore, I'm gonna give you all laser guns for your birthday. You can't live in the future (in space especially) without a laser gun. Oh, and I'm gonna get fucked up with some Wookies (assuming they're real). I'm also gonna jerk off in zero gravity just to see what the cum does.
I hope you enjoyed this profound thought from Arthur C. Clarke and not-so-profound thought from David D. McDonald.
That's right, ladies and germs!! A brand new Davey Mac Sports Program is available right here in the DMSP PLAYER section!! Enjoy some LeBron and pot talk, fantastic music, "East Side" Dave insanity, Chris "Pepper" Stanley Umbros chat, and a Sean O. Barry discussion that will leave you ripping your nipples off!
And when you're done with that, head over to the Radio Shows section of this site and click on The Watchers for our monthly movie show, coincidentally entitled......The Watchers!! We discuss the year of 1994 in movies, Grand Budapest Hotel, Lethal Weapon, and much, much more!!
It's all happening on "East Side" Dave Country!!
Dave & Quint - Fuck Buddies?
The award-winning* Davey Mac Sports Program is LIVE this evening as usual right here on ESDC in the LIVE Show section!! The show begins at 7:30 (-ish) Eastern Standard Time, and will not end until two of us are dead!!! THAT'S dedication, homies!! Expect all kinds of updates on LeBron, the World Cup, Dave's dick, Dave's butt, and MORE!! Join us this evening for the Davey Mac Sports Program: The Greatest Show Of All Time. Peace!!
* BEST in Show - iTunes Editorial Team
I know I did, dogsie. I played soccer, I ate burgers, I drank whiskey, I invaded England, I bombed the French, I nuked Russia, I detonated China, I blew up Canada, and I ate Vietnam. I am an American, dawg, hear me roar. Oh, by the way, monopolies are REALLY bad, and should be avoided at all costs. Thank you, America.
- Davey Mac, American Prince
El Dave - soccer virtuoso.
I brought my five and six-year old kids into the backyard and challenged them to an impromptu World Cup championship soccer match...which I quickly began to dominate, up 3 to 1 with much of the ball possession being owned by yours truly, when the kids started getting "frustrated". Hey, I'd be frustrated, too, if my team outnumbered my dad and he still crushed me in a backyard soccer match. Lesson learned, kids! Hahahahahahahaa!!!!!!
Critically-acclaimed singer/guitarist Irwin Thomas performs "Everything Is Cool" on the July 1st, 2014 Davey Mac Sports Program! Listen to the show HERE on ESDC and/or iTunes!
U.S.Dave.
You deserve to kick your feet up and have a few brewski's. You work hard. I know it. They know it. So what I want you to do is to relax, take your shoes off, and enjoy the weekend. I usually celebrate the Fourth of July with American soft-core porn. Then, I find the nearest Brit and whisper in his ear, "This is for 1776" before awkwardly and over-aggressively tickling him. Finally, I drunkenly pass out in a stranger's backyard. Enjoy your weekend!!
When will faceless corporations, media critics, dopey HR stooges, etc. understand one important thing when it comes to radio - normal, politically correct, by-the-book people and/or celebrities make for the SHITTIEST talk show hosts.
The reason is simple - radio is immediate and often confessional, and the best hosts are those who say or tweet whatever comes to the top of their heads, no matter how pretty or ugly it may be. Celebrities and hosts who have everything going their way usually have NOTHING to say. Their lives are unfolding swimmingly...why would they fuck that up by stating something interesting that could be deemed "controversial"?
When are the people in power going to understand that the best on-air personalities truly are unique individuals? Unfortunately, too often the game of "showbiz" is run by a few unimaginative bores who don't comprehend how the creative mind works. Oh, well.
If we are not careful, in the future, the medium of radio could become just a pathetic group of uncreative dullards simply reading the copy that is given to them by some non-thinking idiot wearing a suit. I hope I am wrong.
- Davey Mac, American Genius
Davey Mac and fellas discuss the World Cup and The Departed! From the July 1st, 2014 Davey Mac Sports Program! Subscribe on iTunes and listen here on this site with the DMSP Player!
Davey Mac - Hasn't slept in four days.
Greetings from Outer Space! "East Side" Dave here on my ESDC spaceship and I would like to inform you Earthlings that our award-winning online radio show, the Davey Mac Sports Program, is NOW available on this site in the DMSP Player section, OR on RiotCast.com, or on iTunes itself!! Whatever works best for you and your fleshy, gooey, human hands. And speaking of which, enjoy the show as we have brilliant guitarist/singer Irwin Thomas in! The guys also talk about The Departed, the Beatles, drunkenness, and MORE! Enjoy the shit out of the show!
Maybe I'm a sore loser, but I seriously want to get the President on the line and convince him to bomb the holy piss out of Belgium. After America's difficult 2 to 1 loss to them in the World Cup yesterday, I realize that I fucking hate those clog-wearing chocolate-eaters. Mr. President, if you can hear me, light those Frogs up!!! Thank you. Signed, Davey Mac.......a concerned, blood-thirsty American.
Dr. Davil
Irwin Thomas
The show shall begin a little later than usual, probably around 7:45 PM (Eastern Standard Time) right here on ESDC in the LIVE show section!! Special guest: the accomplished and incredibly talented musician- Irwin Thomas!! It's gonna be one of those awesome, rocking Davey Mac Sports Program's, so join our asses already!!! Come on, baby!!!
Sometimes even Dave gets boarded, Jabba.
USA Vs. Belgium. Battle of the Butts.
Coverage beings at 3:30 (EST) on ESPN with the game beginning at 4:00. Do I know what's going to happen? Heck, no. I barely know how to walk across the street without getting hit by a bus. In fact, I was hit by eight buses just last Thursday. Those big fuckers sting. Especially when you realize (during the moment of impact) that you're not wearing any pants. "Shit," you think. Go USA!!
Today the American soccer team faces off against Belgium in the World Cup. The fact of the matter is that Belgium is a bull shit country. It's always reminded me of a poor man's France. And it doesn't even have an Eiffel Tower. Even Las Vegas has a damned Eifel Tower, Belgium, you asshole!!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!!
First of all, Coke Logic is the brilliant artist behind the official Davey Mac Sports Program logo. You may recognize this amazing logo from the awards that we have won throughout the years (including the all-important BEST of iTunes from the iTunes Editorial Team). Here is is:
Well, now Mr. Coke Logic is back with all his genius and fury with BEARDLESS Davey Mac cartoons!!! And here they are, unveiled for the first time on ESDC, the shaven East Side Dave cartoons!! Ahhhhhhh!! They frighten me!! Big thank you to Coke Logic for the pics!!
David America
I made this photo for the USA soccer team after the Primus show on Saturday night. This piece of "art" was in fact created at around 3:30 in the morning after there were more psychedelic's running through my body than one of Jim Morrison's illegitimate children. I'm frightened. Anyway, go USA!! Kick the fuck out of Belgium!!!
Primus & Dave-us
I heard there are just a few tickets available, so get your ass down to the Stone Pony in Asbury Park for a fantastic show with Primus and opener Dean Ween!! It's gonna be fucktastic!! I'm going over to the Wonder Bar in Asbury at 4:00 should you be around!! And if you see a red-headed man eating his own hand......RUN!!!!!
The guys discuss former women's soccer player Hope Solo and her continued run-ins with the law. From the June 24th, 2014 Davey Mac Sports Program!