That is correct! Davey Mac shall appear TONIGHT on TLC at 10 PM (EST) on America's Worst Tattoos, following Dave's famed television appearances on truTV's "World's Worst", Wet Personal Lubricant commercials, David Letterman, America's Most Wanted, PBS' "Chuck Dildo Show", the Fatty & Pee-Pee Adventures, VH1's "That Top Ten People With Heads Discussing Top Ten Famous People With Heads Show", Who Farted? (a new game show from the Dickle Brothers), National Geographic Presents: "Bees Cumming On Picnic Food", Law & Order: Dwarf Division, ABC's "Stop Tickling The Children", and MORE! We'll see you TONIGHT on TLC at 10 PM (EST) on America's Worst Tattoos!!! BAM!!!
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Happy Easter and Passover and 4/20 to you fine degenerates!
This is gonna be the best 4/20 Easter ever!! I hope to go from eating my chocolate Easter Bunny to then munching on my next door neighbor's pet rabbit to devouring my own fingers. I have this little saying: "It's not a fun 4/20 Easter until you've bitten your own fingers off." Anyway, have a good one, Dave Pound!!! And get me some band-aids please!!! Quick!!! Thank you!!!
David Would Like You To Have A Glorious Weekend!
I was in the hospital today. Getting an Ultra Sound. And guess what? I'm pregnant with a baby boy!!! I fucking did it, Dave Pound!!! I finally got my dick pregnant with my own cum!!! Yay!!!!!!!!! Anyway, have a great weekend!!!
This week's Davey Mac Sports Program is NOW fucking available!! YOWZA!!
Well, that's damned right, you glorious sons of guns!!! The award-winning Davey Mac Sports Program (aka the "Best Sports Show Ever"......aka the "Best Show Ever"......aka the "Best Ever Ever") is NOW available right HERE on ESD Country in the DMSP Player section!!! Enjoy "East Side" Dave McDonald, Chris "Pepper" Stanley, Sean O and Roy Shaffer as they take on the worlds of sports, music, TV, pot, murder, and mayhem!!! Enjoy this show or DIE!!!!!!!!
......Sorry. That was a little strong.....Um........You're..........you're not really going to die if you don't listen to our online radio show.....even though it does rock the dick off a moose. Peace!
The Cuertos killed it again!
Davey Mac's brilliant band, The Cuertos, gathered together on Saturday to jam and make music history. Visit TheCuertos.com for more!
Here's your free, complimentary, Easter card from David!! Shit, yeah!!
Listen. This is a tough economy. Don't you deserve a financial break for once?
You're God-Damned right you do. Thus, I am going to give you these two Davey Mac-Easter pics. Cut them out and decide which one is the outside/front and which one is the inside/inside. I can't decide that shit. I'm on acid. How do you think this project got started anyway?
And when you're done with that, write a nice message...like "Happy Fuckin' Easter, daddy!".....or something like that....I don't know....who do you think I am, anyway, Hallmark?! Shit, friend-o, I ain't even Arsenio Hallmark!! Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Oh, fuck, this acid is kicking in!!! Who else wants Slurpees?!
Enjoy!
Happy Fuckin' Easter, daddy!!!
Let's party with Jesus and eggs and rabbits!!!
Request by Davey Mac for the wonderful Dave Pound!!
From now on, every night right before bed, I want you looking at this insane photo-shop given to me where my adult, beardless face has been morphed with some sort of child-demon. I want you and your kids to stare at this picture every Midnight until you start seeing the Fires of Hell. And once you see them, you'll know that Dave is in fact not a child-demon, but actually is a dirty adult who is currently jerking off in the back of your car. In fact, it appears that this entire plot was designed merely so that Dave could jerk off in the back of your car without you noticing. Oh, and we'd like to apologize for deflating your tires once we "finished". Thank you.
- Dave and his imaginary friend Popeye the Porcupine
This week's Davey Mac Sports Program is NOW available online!! Bam-Wham-Jam!!!
Boy, I don't think "Bam-Wham-Jam" is gonna take off as a catch-phrase. In fact, it sounds kinda gross. It sort of makes me think of a couple of apples or grapes having sex. Or maybe that's just the "jam" part of the catchphrase. I don't know.
Anyway, this week's spectacular Davey Mac Sports Program episode is NOW available right here on ESD Country in the DMSP Player section and on RiotCast.com!! Take a listen and enjoy!! Bam-Wham-Jam!!!!
......Nope......"Bam-Wham-Jam" still doesn't work.
March Madness Finals TONIGHT!
Kentucky Vs. UConn. The South against the North once again, like that war from that time in the 1800's or whatever........maybe I'm not a good historian. I do know one thing, though- don't put bubble gum in your dick-hole so that you can make a Vine video out of it. The time you'll spend in the emergency room in front of laughing and pointing nurses alone far outweighs the six, measly seconds of the "Dick Gum Bubble" video that you mistakenly made. Anyway, UConn 71, Kentucky 68.
Get psyched for the 'Game Of Thrones' season premier with a musical ode to said show!!
We love 'Game Of Thrones'. Dragons, naked broads, dwarves- it's like a Davey Mac porno. Anyway, get pumped for the season premier with this horrible but passionate song!!!
Thank God It's Friday! Thank fucking God!!!
Dave McDonald - He touches himself in public.
They say "Thank God it's Friday." They say it all the time. But you know what? I remember one Friday when my dog was hit by a car. Thankfully she lived...but she limped for the rest of her life like a shell-shocked Civil War veteran. Thus, as a result, I would dress her up as a little 1860's soldier...which never seemed to get the "Awwwww" from strangers that I was looking for (probably because I dressed her in a Southern general's uniform complete with a Confederate flag doggie head band). Oh, well. Anyway, have a great weekend, homies!!! Let's watch some Final Four and spank it!!!!
David Letterman OUT! Davey Rose IN!
On the heals of the announcement that David Letterman will be leaving his CBS show in 2015, we've decided to throw our hat in the ring. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the future of TV talk show hosts- Davey Rose. It's gonna be a wonderful television experience until the on-air bloodshed begins and then God help us all.
It's The Davey Mac Sports Program Music Montage!
Here's the greatest music video/ commercial/ jizz material ever created for the best show ever invented- the Davey Mac Sports Program.
Check out this week's awesome Davey Mac Sports Program! NOW available online!
It's true. I wouldn't fuckin' lie to you!!! The only time I ever lied was when I lured those old people into the back of my van...but that's a different story. Anyway, listen to this week's fucktastic Davey Mac Sports Program, which can be subscribed to on iTunes, and listened immediately RIGHT HERE in the DMSP Section!!!
Fifty Years Ago one of the greatest sporting upsets ever happened...
1964 - David Ali Vs. Sonny "The Pussy" Liston
....The year was 1964. "Iron" David McDonald, professional boxer and scientist, decided to build and utilize his time machine in order to travel back half a century and knock out the then-Heavyweight Champion of the World, Sonny Liston. Needless to say, Dave kicked Liston's ass and then traveled back to 1989 where he beat the fuck out of Fred Savage in The Wizard. The lesson: don't mess with a high time-traveler.
April Fools, you sons of bitches!!!!
Hey, I'm dying!!!
No, I'm not!!! April Fools!!!
April Fools on the set of 'Full Metal Jacket'
Oh, no!!! My dog just exploded!!!
Ha!! Got you!!! April Fools!!!
Ahhhhh!!! I'm shitting out of my mouth for some reason!!! Nah!! It's just puke!! April Fools, bastards!!
Oh, God, what a great day!!!! April fucking Fools!!!!
I'm close to 30,000 followers on Twitter! Aren't I grand!!!
Twitter.com/EastSideDave. It's true. And I didn't pay for any of those followers. Not one single one (except my mom, my landlord, and the cell-mate at Rahway State Prison). SO I wanted to A.) Thank you for the overwhelming support and B.) Please get me to that magic number via friends, relatives, etc. so that I can call my Twitter audience 30,000 Daves Under The Sea. We even have a damned graphic for that shit!!! I love ya, dogsies!!
God Bless Amercia and the Dave Pound.
God Bless the following: my amazingly loyal audience with which I am quite grateful for, even though you once probably heard me farting. You may have even smelled it, too. My apologies. Oh, and I'm also sorry for killing your newspaper delivery man. If you're wondering why you haven't received your newspaper in three weeks, it's because your delivery man is buried in your backyard (without his head, mind you). Anyway, keep subscribing to my online shows right here on EastSideDaveCountry.com; or on iTunes and RiotCast.com! Peace, pickle-buddies!!!
Daviana Jones - This belongs in museum!!!
Oh, yes! After bringing a few bags of Sour Patch Kids in order to substitute for the proper idol (the Cross of Coronado). Oh, and what's that noise?! Oh fuck!! Poisonous darts! And now some sort of five-ton gigantic boulder is heading my way and will fucking squash me like the pussy Saltne cracker that I am!!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!!
MORE Dave Pound art!!
The great Barn Owl Bill made this Davey Mac/Boogie Nights poster and it rocks!! Great shit!! I'm gonna go and spank it now!!!