This might be the best old school sports pic ever...

...It's a photo of then-Marlins manager Jim Leyland clearly disturbing the piss out of then-Yankees bench coach Don Zimmer.  Just what the shit was Leyland saying to Zimmer in this obviously fucked-up conversation?  I guess we'll never know.  It'll just be one of those unsolved mysteries like who killed my pet rabbit Tony and why is there cum on my shoe.

It's officially Christmas season! Let's get fucked!

I don't think there is a better time of year to get knee-knockingly shitfaced and head-wobblingly stoned than Christmas time.  For instance, tonight I shall go into the Smoke Zone and get so lit up that by the time I emerge from my Pot Den, I'll just stare at my collection of Santa Claus figurines and toys until I start to hallucinate that Santa and I are a couple of pot-smoking deadbeats ready to beat naughty people to death with are own home-made coal bat.  Anyway, happy fucking holidays, Dave Pound!!

Happy Thanksgiving, Dave Pound! Part II

While I already wished you wonderful people a Happy Thanksgiving on Tuesday, I realized to myself, "Who the shit wishes someone a Happy Thanksgiving on a fucking Tuesday?!?!  Tuesday's ain't Thanksgiving, daddy!!!  THURSDAY'S be Thanksgiving!!!"  Thus, after talking to myself in italics for another 40 minutes, I decided on this here Thursday to once again wish you fantastic mother-fuckers a PROPER "Happy Thanksgiving, you sons of bitches!!!"   There!!!  Now enjoy your shittin' day, dogsies!!!  Peace!!

Happy Thanksgiving, Dave Pound!

It's finally here!  The wonderful food!  The presents!  The candy canes!  Wait!  Shit!!!  I'm thinking of Christmas again!!!  Fuckies!!  I'm stupid!!  I get those two holidays mixed up quite a bit!!  I think I have brain trauma!!  And I'm not even a football player!!!  But shit, homies, I walk around like one concussed red-haired monkey!!  Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!!!

 - Davey Mac

Memo to the NFL...

...the Giants were robbed.  The Cowboys are not America's Team.  That's what they want you to believe.  But did they tell you that in fact some weird shit happened in Roswell in 1947?  Have they told us the TRUTH of what occurred on Nov. 22, 1963?  Are YOU aware that people across this fine planet have seen things that they can't explain?  We must forage through the American NOISE and seek answers.  We owe it to ourselves.   

I just realized that I've been on TV a lot.

I'm kinda like Woody Allen's Zelig or Tom Hanks' Forrest Gump; except instead of being somehow caught in the middle of an historic event, surrounded by legendary celebrities and famous power figures, I've made it to bad cable news shows and dick lube commercials!!  Yay me!!!!! 

Anyway, here now are the Top 5 "East Side" Dave TV appearances:

Dave appears on New York One news to discuss Billy Joel playing the last concert at Shea Stadium.  Look into Dave's eyes and you'll see a very drunk man.

Dave pretends that he is a right-wing lunatic at the David Letterman protests.  Dave appears to be drunk in this one, too.

CNN dedicates a whole segment to Dave, who looked very unstable in this video.  Let's admit it- Dave was drunk.

Dave appears on truTV and blows the comedy world away with his brilliant portrayal of a farty man with farty problems.  #DRUNK

Dave does an EVIL testimonial for dick lube.  I'm drunk just watching this one.

Stay tuned for my next transcendentally amazing television appearance as I will be a guest in January on America's Worst Tattoos!  Peace!   Drrrrrrrrrunk!!!!

I finished watching "JFK" last night.

My own, personal, mini-series viewing of Oliver Stone's JFK is finally over after three blissful nights of smoking up the good stuff and then putting on the movie at midnight.  JFK is one of those films that should only be watched very late in the evening, so that the creepy paranoia and invisible fear can take hold of the viewer until you realize that not only was our 35th President most likely murdered by a rogue element of our own national intelligence community; but that you yourself were complicit with this conspiracy, and that, in fact, YOU may have been one of the trigger men who shot Kennedy, and then had your brain washed by the CIA so that you don't remember a God Damned thing.  Well, Davey Mac remembers, America.  THAT's who fucking remembers.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to spank the monkey.  Good day. 

Dave's Thoughts - "I am not a fan of Katy Perry's music."

I know, I know.  This is a REAL shocking and controversial statement from the Dave Man.  Well shit, Dave Pound, if you can't take the heat, stop walking into the kitchen, or however the fuck the phrase goes.  I know it's somewhat cliche to say that Katy Perry's songs are shitty.  In fact, I am not going to even go that far.  I can understand why her music has generated a ton of hits.  I am just saying, for me, and only me, in fact I wish no ill will on Katy Perry fans, but for little humble "East Side" Dave of 123 Awesome Taste Boulevard, I would rather make out with a leper while my dick was being slowly sawed off by a man dressed up as a tiger than to have to hear that fucking "Roar" song of hers one more time.  Shitties, I'd gladly accept a large protruding needle that had been dipped in chlamydia stuck into my dick-hole than listen to that song come out of my co-worker's fucking radio again.  This has been......Dave's Thoughts...

JFK & ESD...A Fifty-Year Murder Mystery

We here at East Side Dave Country have decided to solve the greatest American murder mystery that ever was...the assassination of our 35th President- John F. Kennedy (shot to death on Nov. 22, 1963 in Dallas, Texas).  Through our Internet research, we have uncovered shocking new photographic evidence that not only raises questions of multiple shooters and conspiracy theories, but also brings to light queries about time-travel, red-haired radio hosts, what Jim Morrison's role in all of this was, smiling inappropriately in pictures, and jerking off in funeral parlors.  Here now, for the first time ever in one place, is the entire JFK-ESD Assassination File.  Light a candle as you view it.  What-What.

Davey Mac KILLED all of New York City Wednesday night!

Shit yes, Friend-O's!!  Davey Mac, aka "The World's Worst Comedian," CRUSHED the New York Comedy Festival on Wednesay night!!  He performed with comedy up-and-comers Colin Quinn, Robert Kelly, Rich Vos, Jim Florentine, and more, and Dave showed those youngsters how stand-up is done!  Check out these pics followed by the video!!  SUCK IT!!! 

Davey Mac on the comedy stage in NYC TONIGHT! AND, the Davey Mac show is LIVE tonight, too! Shit yeah!!

Yes, sirs and ladies!  The Dave Man, against the wishes of humanity,  is performing stand-up once again as the "World's Worst Comedian"!!  This time for the New York Comedy Festival and RiotCast.com!  Get your tickets by clicking THIS LINK for one of the shittiest performances you'll see all year!  Yeeeeeehhaaawww!!!  Also appearing this evening with Davey Mac: some up-and-comers named Colin Quinn, Bob Kelly, Jim Florentine, and MORE!  I for one can't wait to laugh it up when MORE comes onstage!

ALSO- we will be doing the online version of the Davey Mac Sports Program before the show this evening at 6:30 Eastern, 3:30 Pacific on the Ustream section of this site!  The show will then be put up on iTunes and RiotCast and shit after that!

That's a lot of fucking info!  Geez, after all that info, sometimes I like to put my feet in the air and release some gas!  Boom!!! 

What most people don't realize.....

.....is that I am taller than Jack Nicholson and Magic Johnson put together.  It's fucking true.  Here's the photographic evidence.   

Davey Mac in Diabolique Magazine! Check it!

BOO!!!  Did I scare you?  I hope so!  Anyway, if THAT didn't scare you, then maybe the interview of me in Diabolique Magazine will!!!  Diabolique is a "lavishly illustrated, bimonthly print/digital magazine exploring every aspect of genre film, literature and art" and its featured celebrity for this issue is ME, "East Side" Davey Mac, and it's KILLER!!!  Hahahahaha!!!  How many terrible fucking horror puns can I cram into this shit?!?!  Anyway, check out my Diabolique interview right now.......if you dare!!!!   Muhahahahaha!!

It's my birthday TODAY!!!

I hope you got me something nice......like a poster of two animals fucking the shit out of each other.  That would be awesome.  Anyway, happy birthday to ME!!!  Hahahahahahahaa!!  I'm higher than a fucking helicopter right now!!  Speaking of helicopters, did you know that on the set of Twilight Zone: The Movie, a chopper crashed and killed star Vic Morrow?  Did you know that?  Oh.  You did know that.   Well, then color me an asshole!!  I'm sorry for doubting your movie trivia knowledge!!  I might as well let my dog chew my dick off as punishment for underestimating you!!  Anyway, happy fucking birthday to myself!!  Peace!!

Happy Halloween from East Side Dave!

Happy Halloween, Dave Pound!  This is my second favorite holiday of the year behind Christmas, just in case you're keeping score at home.  Anyway, eat some candy, smoke some pot, watch some horror flicks and make sure you have a Spooky 'N' Fucky Halloween!  Whooooooooo!!! 

Davey Mac performing stand-up Wednesday, Nov. 6th! It's gonna be terrible...get your tickets now! God, it's gonna suck!

Yes, it's fucking true!  When you think of stand-up comedy, you think of Colin Quinn, Bob Kelly, Jim Norton, Rich Vos, Jim Florentine, and........."East Side" Dave McDonald, aka the "World's Worst Comedian."  That's right.  Dave will be dredging up his terribly shitty act because Bob Kelly asked him to for some strange reason.  So, make sure you get your tickets and support the Dave Man and these other fucking guys on the RiotCast Live Special!!  WEDNESDAY, November 6th, at 9:00 sharp!!  Go to RiotCast.com for more info!!  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to jerk off.

My birthday is THIS Friday!!!

     What are you getting me?  I don't want any more dildo's.  I already have enough due to my part-time job as an out-of-the-trunk-of-his-car-dildo salesman.  NOR do I wish for the following: 

* Paintings or any artwork centered around farts.

* Small animals whose natural faces look like they're smiling.  They freak my shit out.  Ever seen a lemur when you're real high?  That little son of a bitch will just sit on a tree branch when you're smoking up and stare at you with his evil, menacing grin and God Dammit, it'll make you want to jump out of the fucking window.

* Illegally-obtained dick pics of Matt Lauer.

* Legally-obtained tit pics of my mom. 

* Boxed poop.

     What I would suggest is a small, rational, and kind donation to this website via the donate section (EastSideDaveCountry.com/Donate).....

...OR...

.......a LARGE, INSANE,  and FUCKED-UP donation of, like, $1,200 to this damned website!!!  Yeeeehhaaaww!!!  Partaaaaayy!!!  The way I see it, I have over 27,000 followers on Twitter, over 5700 friends on Facebook, over 4000 Dave Pound Pals on Google+, and over 5200 Tickle Buddies on Instagram....therefore, if everyone gave a humble donation, I'd have enough money to shove a stuffed carrot up my boss' ass as I roller-skated out the door with my dick out!!  Let's get crazy!!!  Anyway, happy birthday to me!!!

Someone said that I might be doing stand-up again...

...at the New York Comedy Festival.  I would be performing my "brilliantly" shitty character, the World's Worst Comedian, at Bob Kelly and RiotCast's night of comedy.  But the odd thing is, I really don't know if I'm gonna be doing it or not.  I think I was asked by Bob Kelly a few weeks ago.  But I was drunker than shit.  I forget if we left it up in the air, or if I gave him an answer.  Fuckies.  I was so hammered I even pissed myself a little.  OK, ok, I pissed myself a LOT.  Anyway, come back here for more answers as to whether or not I'll be doing stand-up on Nov. 6th in the Comedy Cellar for the New York Comedy Festival.  Here are some pics of the last time the World's Worst Comedian performed followed by the greatest video of stand-up comedy ever.

 Dave puts the comedy world on notice with his brilliance. 

Dave literally kills three members of the audience with his genius and is currently awaiting a triple-manslaughter charge. 

Dave destroys the room so badly with his exceptional material that he now owes $35,000 in damages......but guess what...Dave ain't paying SHIT!!! 

Dave is congratulated by his best friends (from left to right), comedians Rich Vos, Robert Kelly, Luis Gomez. 

Dave and Pepper laughing at either stand-up comedians or their own farts. 

Special video clip of Davey Mac Cliche - The World's Worst Comedian. 

This Means War.

I have an idea.

I'd like the Davey Mac Sports Program (of SiriusXM and iTunes) to get some big publicity so as of RIGHT FUCKING NOW, I am declaring a Radio War on every single radio show in the world.

Rush Limbaugh?  You're dead God Damn meat, you fat fucking piss-face. 

Casey Kasem?  You may only have months to live but they'll be the WORST FUCKING MONTHS of your miserable life, dick-nose.

Dr. Laura?  Meet Dr. David Mother-Fucking McDonald: PHD in KICKING YOUR FUCKING ASS.

Yeah.  You guessed it- I'm really fucking high.  Welcome to the Jungle, Radio People......you're gonna die. 

The Radio Gods Have Been Generous To You Today.

First, a seriously fart-inducing lovely new episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program (online) is NOW up on iTunes and/or RiotCast.com!!  We talk about the World Series, bad children, awful music, terrible life choices, the End Times, the exploding universe, and MORE!

And THEN, when you're finished shittin' all over that program, tune in to our movie show- The Watchers- Available on iTunes and/or Stitcher.com!!  We talk about Halloween movies, Nazi's, strange things, and MORE spooky stuff!

And don't forget to hear us, LIVE, on Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program XL shall CRUSH the cum out of radio yet again!!  7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!!  Tune in to the Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206/XM 103) for the show!!

That's all, folks!  I'm gonna eat something non-edible!!  Peace!!