Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- May 21)

  Would you like to touch it?

a.) If by "it" you mean your ass, Dave Man, and "touch" you mean tie it to a flag pole in the center of a Mexican village and detonate it like a pale, fleshy pinata...then HELLS YEAH!! (27%)

b.) This poll question is too creepy for me, David.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go remove the eye balls of my mother's corpse who I'm keeping in my bed. (23%)

c.) I would LOVE to touch it, Davey Mac, but I just lost a bet and had to chop off my arms!!  Oh well!! (26%)

d.) I just called the S.W.A.T. team, Dave...you have about thirty seconds to evacuate, you fucking pervert. (24%)

This past Saturday's Davey Mac Sports Program- NOW up on Sirius XM On Demand!! Fuck it!! (5/20/13)

 

Let's go!!  You know you WANT it!!  Then touch it!!  Touch it nice!!  Yeah!!!  That's good!!  Owwww!!  Not so rough!!  Hey, you're biting it!!!!  Ahhhhhhh!!!!  We're bleeding!!!  Listen to this past Saturday's explosive Davey Mac Sports Program XL on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!!  Go to Sirius XM On Demand and hear the show!!!  Owwwww!!!  Call 9-1-1!!!  We're fucking bleeding!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- May 20)

  How was your weekend?

a.) Excellent, Dave Man!!  I tied to turtles together and blew them up with dynamite!!  Yeeehhhaaww!! (24%)

b.) I didn't do anything special, David.  I just stayed home and glued my dick to a jigsaw puzzle. (26%)

c.) I got so drunk, Davey Mac, that I somehow woke up with no right hand!!!  That's the last time I go to a Wine 'N' Severed Limbs party!!! (27%)

d.) I just farted. (23%)

Davey Mac and Peppers Ham- eatin' that shit LIVE on Sirius XM on Saturday at 7 EST!!! (5/18/13)

 

Oh yeah, sweet shits!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program XL is LIVE as always this Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio, and we want YOU to join us and maybe even jerk it with us for a while!!  Tune in to the Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 103) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific, for a radio fuck-fest!!  Call in at 866-WOW-1-WOW!!!  Topics for the show shall include:

* Chiclets- we know it's a gum but the name sounds borderline racist to us.

* America's favorite concert pianist, Michael Van Pee, plays his brilliant new piece, poetically titled- "I Wish I Could Slam My Wife's Head Into The Mailbox Over And Over Again...The Lying Bitch"

* Country music's newest stars, the Tits Sisters, perform their new hit- "Fuck Us In The Ass, America"

* Canada's greatest surgeon, Dr. Edward Jumms, discusses his new memoir- When My (Male) Patients Are Under Anesthesia, I Often Stick My Fingers In Their Asses

* And Dave and Pepper cut each other's dicks off!

We'll see you Saturday, dogsies!!

Suck ya later...dicks!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- May 17)

  I have horrible allergies. Help me.

a.) Sure, Davey Mac! I'll help you...by fucking your ass with my over-sized, blue-ribbon, county fair-winning zucchini, you sick son of a bitch!! (26%)

b.) I don't help anyone with anything, David.  And that includes my pet duck, Puffy, when he started quacking in horror for help as I was eating his brain. (23%)

c.) I'm in jail, Dave Man.  No can do!!! (24%)

d.) I'll help you, Diddy...by cutting off your fucking nose and feeding it to my grandpa!!  Hahahaha!!  ...I'm also in jail... (27%)

This past Saturday's Davey Mac Sports Program XL is up on Sirius XM On Demand today! (5/13/13)

 

Correctomundo!!  Barring Sirius XM Satellite Radio exploding like the Death Star (which is possible), the Davey Mac Sports Program XL from this past Saturday will be up in the On Demand section today!!  Check it the fuck out!!  Dave and Pepper rock and jock the shit out of broadcasting!!  Gabe gets a new nick-name!!  Medina murders Cousin Brucie's producer!!  Grapes are eaten!!  Booze is drunk!!  And four to five Canadians are sacrificed!!  Enjoy!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- May 13)

  Do you believe in ghosts?

a.) Yeah, Dave Man!!  I'm fucking one right now!!  Yeeeeehhhhaaawww!! (25%)

b.) I do not believe in anything related to the paranormal, David.  I'm a skeptic.  I do, however, enjoy shoving large needles up a frog's anus. (24%)

c.) I only believe in gettin' HIGH, Diddy Mac!!  I'm so high right now, in fact, I'm thinking of blowing up my brother-in-law's bowling alley!!  Boom!! (26% )

d.) Ghosts shmosts.  I prefer the famed Dildo Monster of New Mexico. (25%)

This week's Davey Mac Sports Program (online) is up! AND, we will be LIVE on Saturday on Sirius XM! (5/11/13)

 

Fuck to the YEAH!!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is back from a one week sabbatical because of Sean O and his wife having a baby!!  Thus, this week's kick-fucking-ass episode is dedicated to ALL babies everywhere, plus the people who make them!!  The show is ALSO dedicated to my DICK!!!  Get it NOW on iTunes and/or RiotCast.com!!!

AND, listen to the Davey Mac Sports Program XL, LIVE as always, this Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!!  Tune to the Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206/XM 103) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!!  And make sure you wash your ass!!  It's gonna get fucked hard by the monkey!!  Peace!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- May 6)

  How was your Cinco de Mayo, homies?

a.) Excellent, Davey Mac!  I ended up going back to the orphanage in Mexico that I was raised in and blowing it the fuck up!!  Ay caramba!! (24%)

b.) I don't celebrate holidays, David.  Instead, I stay at home and jerk off to March of the Penguins. (23%)

c.) I had an AWESOME time, Dave Man!!  I dropped acid and tied my dad to a chair and painted his face like clown!  (26%)

d.) I just farted a lot... (27%)

The Davey Mac Sports Program online version will not be on this week! But we WILL be live on SiriusXM on Saturday!! (5/1/13)

 

Because our buddy Sean O and his wonderful wife are having a baby TODAY, there shan't be an online version of the Davey Mac Sports Program this week!!  HOWEVER, Davey Mac and Pepper WILL be doing the Davey Mac Sports Program XL on Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!!  LIVE on the Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206/XM 105) at 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific!!  Bring the sucks!!  Bring the FUCKS!!  Let's get so liquored up on Saturday that we seriously injure two random marmots of our choosing!!  See you then!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- May 1)

  It's a really nice day out.  What do you plan on doing?

a.) Robbing (24%)

b.) Farting (25%)

c.) Poisoning (25%)

d.) Reporting this poll to the police ASAP!! (26%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- April 23)

  Have you ever wanted to eat your pet?

a.) No, Dave Man...but I have wanted to piss on my former grade school gym teacher, Mr. Churtle.  Too bad he's dead!! (24%)

b.) Sometimes I get the urge to put a WHAM! song on, David, and cut my therapist's toes off... (25%)

c.) I enjoy eating mittens. (26%)

d.) This poll has gotten too weird for me, Dave.  I'm gonna leave and do something normal...like tying my penis to a chair and setting them both on fire. (25%)

This past Saturday's Davey Mac 4-20/Boston Special is available on online and on SiriusXM On Demand!!

 

Oh yeah, daddy!!  This past Saturday's mother-fucking EPIC Davey Mac Sports Program XL on SiriusXM Satellite Radio is available here- http://www.struff.com/vbulletin/showthread.php/72442-Davey-Mac-Sports-Program-XL-4-20-13-live-show-MP3-download AND also in the SiriusXM On Demand section!!  The show was an insane one as it was a special 4-20/Boston Tribute episode and was more fucked up than seeing a monkey giving your uncle a blowjob!!  It was crazier than Oasis' Gallagher brothers putting M&M's in each other's asses!!  It was more INSANE than letting a leprechaun date-rape a unicorn!!!  It's a classic episode and YOU need to hear it!!  Go to http://www.struff.com/vbulletin/showthread.php/72442-Davey-Mac-Sports-Program-XL-4-20-13-live-show-MP3-download and/or the SiriusXM On Demand section for the shit!!  Peace!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- April 22)

  How was your 4-20, dogsies?!

a.) Awesome, Dave Man!!  I got so damned high that I killed my whole family!!!  ...Now that I think about it...maybe I got too high...does anyone know where I can hide from the police for a while?  (28%)

b.) I do not smoke marijuana, David.  I do, however, ingest cum that I manually jack out of the dick of a porcupine. (22%)

c.) My 4-20 ROCKED, Davey Mac!!  I was so weed'ed out that I ended up shitting in my grandmother's candy dish and forcing her to eat it at gunpoint!! (29%)

d.) I missed it!!  I was in a coma that day because of entering the 28th Annual North American Drop An Anvil On Your Head Convention!!  Shit!!! (21%)

The Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) shall be up on Thursday night!!

 

Oh, YEAH, dogsies!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program will be delayed a day and shall NOT go up on Wednesday night/Thursday morning (as per usual)...but instead will be available on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes on Thursday night/Friday morning!!!  The reason?  The Dave Man has some sort of leaking dick issue that he has to deal with...THAT'S the fucking reason, you nosy sons of bitches!!  Anyway, subscribe to the show on iTunes and enjoy the shit out of it later!!  Peace!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- April 17th)

  It's REALLY fucking warm today.  Almost too warm.

a.) It's better than having a frozen jizz-pop stuck in your ass!!  Ahhh-blah-blah-blah-hidey-hey!!! (26%)

b.) I, too, detest overly warm climates, David.  I only like it when it's 64 degrees outside and I'm sticking needles into a kitten's eye balls. (24%)

c.) This weather is so nice I feel like dressing up as a nun and fucking the shit out of my blind barber!! (27%)

d.) My dick hurts. (23%)

Davey Mac and Pepper- stroking it LIVE on Saturday on Sirius XM!!!

 

That's right, Dave Pound!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program XL chews the DICK off Sirius XM Satellite Radio on Saturday!!  Tune in to the Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206/XM 105) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific for the shit!!  Topics shall include:

* Masturbating- why you shouldn't do it while waiting on line at the post office

* Famous Hollywood psychologist, Dr. Hugh Mickle, discusses his new book- Sometimes I Feel Like Taking An Old-Timey Mallet And Smashing My Wife's Head In Like A Grapefruit...Does Anyone Know Gallagher's Phone Number?

* America's greatest country singers, the Punty Sisters, talk about the time they filled the Dixie Chicks' purses with poop

* We'll give you the top eight farts in sports history!

* And talk show host Denny Chump chats about his new show- "My Dick Just Fell Off"

See you on Saturday!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- April 12)

 

I performed more stand-up comedy last night.   And I shit all over the stage.

a.) Good for you, Dave Man.  At least you didn't blow up any animals this time! (26%)

b.) I don't really like comedy, David.  Instead, I prefer lighting my dick on fire. (24%)

c.) I was there, Davey Mac, and you KILLED!!  I laughed so hard I ended up assaulting two homeless guys afterwards!!! (27%)

d.) I, too, was there, Dave...and the experience was like an evil robot fucking me in the ass with his razor-droid-cock. (23%)

Game of Thrones- House Davey Mac Banner

  I made my own banner with some HBO "Game of Thrones" app.  Check it.

This past Saturday's Davey Mac Sports Program/Cuertos Musical Special is NOW up on Sirius XM On Demand!!

 

Oh, YEAH, sweet knees!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program XL ANNIHILATED Sirius XM Satellite Radio with help from Dave's legendary band- The Cuertos!!  The Cuertos performed six songs over the course of two glorious hours that were so spectacular that people wept, elephants cried, dicks exploded, pussies inverted, dragons puked fire, and dwarves grew three feet!!  And YOU can download it NOW from the Sirius XM On Demand section!!  Feel the magic, homies!!  Peace!!