This is the home of “East Side” Dave McDonald and the place for all East Side Davidians!
Podcasts, Videos, Shows, Archives & More! FACE!
Sometimes, I get the urge to put my dog in the microwave and then eat her. Is this normal?
a.) I'm calling the police as we speak, Dave Man, you sick bastard!! (26%)
b.) Well, David, sometimes I get the urge to put poop on my eye lids...so who am I to judge? (24%)
c.) Do whatever makes you happy, Davey Mac!! Especially if that includes sucking off a turtle!! (27%)
d.) I once fucked a jelly doughnut. (23%)
Oh, YEAH, honey-buttons!! Take your pants down and put some carrot sticks in your ass 'cause this week’s disturbing episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is NOW up on on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!!! Listen as the guys play two, brand new, never-before-heard songs from the new album by Sleeves and Roy Shaffer!! Hear the excitement as Davey Mac talks about killing three people!! Enjoy the entertainment as Sean O suffocates an elderly man!! It's all here- the romance, the violence, the jizz, the farts, the love, the the hate, the dicks- on THIS week's spectacular episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program!! Available (for free) on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!!!
What do you think of me?
a.) You're a swell guy, Davey Mac...a swell guy who I'd like to put a billiards stick up his ass!! (25%)
b.) You still owe me twenty-six dollars for eating my dog, David. (24%)
c.) I think you're awesome, Dave Man!! You should treat yourself to a nice rapin'!! (26%)
d.) When I see your face, Dave, I sometimes vomit on my baby. (25%)
What kind of April Fools' Day jokes have you played?
a.) I once glued Option B's dick to a dead porcupine. (26%)
b.) What?!?! That was YOU, Option A?! (23%)
a.) Fuck yeah, asshole. Oh, and also...I killed Option B's parents. (27%)
b.) I'm calling the fucking cops!!! (24%)
Should I get a new pet? If so, what kind?
a.) You should buy a pet cobra, Dave Man!! And if he should bite you on the dick, go to a hospital and ask one of the nurses to suck the poison out!! That's what I do...and I don't even own a snake!! (24%)
b.) I think you should adopt a baby, David. Preferably, one with three eyes. (23%)
c.) Animals are cool...but pot is WAY better, Dave Man!! Smoke it up, dawg!! (26%)
d.) I can't concentrate on this poll question, Dave...someone just shit in my mailbox...ok, fine, it was me... (27%)
I'm watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit right now. Did you just love that movie?
a.) Never saw it, Dave Man!! I did see, however, Who Jizzed On Patricia Pussy. Yowee zowee!! (21%)
b.) I don't watch films, David. Instead, I enjoy making jig-saw puzzles out of my own feces. (23%)
c.) I viewed it in the theater and I LOVED it, Davey Mac!! Especially the part when I was coked up out of my mind and started snorting popcorn!! (36%)
d.) I wish I could eat a bunny. A real bunny. I've ALWAYS wanted to eat one. (20%)
Oh, YEAH, daddy and mommy o's!! This week's fucked-up episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is NOW up on on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!!! Subscribe to the show (for free) and grab your dicks!!! We have a special studio audience who witnesses the show in all its drunken glory!! Songs are sung!! And death threats are thrown!! It's an episode that has already been banned in sixteen countries including YOURS!! Download it NOW!!
AND, don't forget- the Davey Mac Sports Program XL will be LIVE as always on Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!! Tune in at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific, to The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206/XM 105) for the show called "the greatest thing since shitting in a bowl!!" We'll see you homies later!!
Are you ready for the weekend?
a.) Fuck yeah, Dave Man! I got the duct tape, chloroform, and garbage bags! Now I just need a body and it's a parrrtaaaaay!!! (26%)
b.) I don't have any plans, David. Maybe I'll just stay home and whisper "I want to have sex with you" to my pet kitten. (24%)
c.) I'm ready, Davey Mac!! Bring on the CUM!!! (24%)
d.) I think someone just farted on my head... (26%)
Thank you to everyone who follows Dave on Twitter (Twitter.com/EastSideDave), as you've now propelled the Dave Man into the very exclusive Twenty-Five Thousand Followers club!! It's a wonderful accomplishment that sort of means absolutely nothing when you really think about it, but that's not going to stop Davey Mac from celebrating by getting loaded on stale Scotch and robbing a Pizza Hut!! It's one of the greatest days in East Side Dave history!! Which means that East Side Dave has had one of the shittiest histories of any human since 1977!! Nevertheless, a HUGE thanks to the Dave Pound and all of the Dave followers on Twitter, who we are now calling the 25,000 David Pyramid!! Good day, homies!!
Would you like to tickle me?
a.) Fuck yes, Davey Mac!! With a fucking shotgun!!! Hahahahaha!! I'm so drunk!! (22%)
b.) No, David. However, I would like to pour red ants dipped in cyanide down your dick-hole. (24%)
c.) I'd tickle you, Dave Man, but I'm not allowed contact with other humans until 2017...after the little incident I had with forcing homeless people to throw up and then bottling the vomit in order to sell it on the black market! (26%)
d.) I don't have any fingers, Dave, and I take offense to this poll. (28%)
YEAH, Mommies and Daddies!! The Davey Mac and Pepper Ham CRUSHED the shit out of Sirius XM Satellite Radio in an epically awesome St. Patty's Day Special that was highlighted by beer, booze, racist puppets, drunkenness, liquor, jizz, death threats, intoxication, guns, and more!! It's the GREATEST St. Pat's Drinking Special you'll ever fucking hear!! Go to the Sirius XM On Demand section and get the show now and light it the fuck on fire with joy and alcohol!! Peace!!
What did you do over this epic St. Patrick's Day weekend?
a.) I partayed, Dave Man!! I went out with my cousin who we call "Ex-Con" Eddie and we blew up a factory!! (25%)
b.) I stayed in and glued my cats' heads together, David. (24%)
c.) I drank 16 glasses of Guinness and then raped a potato!! (26%)
d.) I thought seriously of making out with my sister. (25%)
Yeah, daddy!! It's a drunken Davey Mac Sports Program XL St. Patrick's Day Special on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!! The o'gauntlet has been o'thrown and it shall be o'answered!! David and Pepper are gonna double-fist the libations until a either a knife-fight or vomit-rama ensues!! We are gonna drink until at least three small animals are sacrificed and Cousin Bruce is given noogies!! And we want YOU to join us for the festivities!! Go to The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206/XM 105) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific, for the sick celebration!! Topics for the show shall include:
* Shamrocks- they're good luck! Especially if you tattoo one on the fore-head of a passed out old person on St. Pat's Day!
* Irish comedians Sean & Danny O'McKeelan do their famous bit- "We're Gonna Behead The First Englishman We See, Especially If Said Englishman Turns Out To Be That Bastard Russell Brand
* The Pogues- we like listening to them as we puke on interns
* Erin Go Bragh- we don't know what it means but it sounds hot...as if some Irish lass is gonna show her titties
* Regis Philbin stops by and gets punched in the mouth by accident
* And Dave & Pepper piss each other's pants somehow
We'll see you Saturday evening for the St. Pat's Davey Mac Special!! Until then!!
This Sunday is St. Patrick's Day! What do you plan to do?
a.) I'm gonna get so damned boozed-up I'll probably end up fucking at least THREE homeless people!! (27%)
b.) I am going to stay in and shove green M&M's up my dick-hole. (23%)
c.) I probably will watch the parade and drunkenly punch my dad in the nose for never taking me to it. (24%)
d.) I'm gonna feed Guinness and potatoes to my pet mouse Larry until his little tummy explodes! (26%)
Yeah, daddy!! This week's spectacular Davey Mac Sports Program St. Patrick's Day Special is NOW up on on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!!! Subscribe to the show (for free) and get your damned party on, daddy!! Grab yourself a Guinness and get ready for the greatest Irish Explosion since the O'Death Star blew up!! We sing songs!! Dave tells stories!! Pepper has bad gas!! Roy Shaffer rocks it hard!! Sean O kills the janitor!! And special guest guitarist Dave Richter makes Eddie Van Halen look like a pussy!! It's the best St. Patty's Day special you've ever fucking heard!! Listen to it NOW on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!! Top o' the mornin' to ya!!
...And you don't want to be in trouble, do you? NO ONE likes to be in trouble! Even trouble-MAKERS often wish they were making something else, like pies or dolls!! It's fucking true!! We did research on seven homeless men who we deemed "trouble-makers" and six of them wish they had NOTHING to do with trouble!! Well, it's too fucking late for them, but it's not too late for YOU!! Go to the East Side Dave Happy Times Channel on Ustream at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific, for the show!! Or you'll enter a WORLD of TROUBLE, you sons of bitches!! Adios!
Who do you like best? (pictured below)
a.) East Side Dave (20%)
b.) Davey Mac (23%)
c.) The Bearded Joker (17%)
d.) The Midnight Rider (17%)
e.) Dave McDonald (23%)
Why yes, it is, muchachos. You know the Dave Man. You like the Dave Man. You tickle the Dave Man? You're sick then, aren't you. You poke the Dave Man? Ewww. We're not sure what you mean we YOU say "poke", but WE are damned uncomfortable with that statement, you creeps. You finger the Dave Man? We're not going there, you perverts. Anyway, for the most dynamic show on Sirius XM Satellite Radio (The Davey Mac Sports Program XL) go to the Sirius XM On Demand section NOW, you disturbed sons of bitches!! Enjoy!!
Who is the greatest athlete of our time? (pictured below)
a.) Michael Jordan (22%)
b.) Tiger Woods (18%)
c.) "Farty" MacIntyre (21%)
d.) Poo Poo Jeffries (19%)
e.) Buddy Tethers (20%)
Tonight is the season finale of The Bachelor!! ...How pathetic am I?
a.) You're a girly man, Davey Boy!! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to shove a neon green dildo up my ass!! Bye-bye!! (25%)
b.) I don't own a television, David. I only possess several photographs of naked old women going number two. (26%)
c.) It's all good, East Side Diddy!! I plan to watch the show, too, while on mushrooms and jerking off my landlord!!! (24%)
d.) I'm just happy you aren't drunkenly robbing any more 7-11's, Dave. (25%)
