Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 24)

  It's gonna be 52 degrees today!  In January in New Jersey?!?!  What should I do with this wonderfully temperate weather?

a.) Take a lovely walk on the boardwalk. (18%)

b.) Enjoy the park. (15%)

c.) Play some golf. (12%)

d.) Go to the Adult Emporium on Route 35, buy Big Wet Tits Volume 7 on DVD, spank it while looking at the box in the car.  And since the weather is nice, the windows can be rolled down!  Yeehhhaaw!! (55%)

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Davey Mac Sports Program News!

  First of all, thanks to everyone who listened and called in to the Davey Mac Sports Program XL over the weekend!!  We annihilated the shit out of Sirius XM Satellite Radio with our sports magic!!  Afterwards, we sacrificed small animals in celebration.  Tune in again this Saturday at 7 PM (EST) to the Opie & Anthony Channel for the show some are saying is "so good you will rip your dick off."

And also, tune in to the podcast of the Davey Mac Sports Program this Wednesday on Ustream at 7 PM (EST)!  Subscribe to iTunes for the program!!  Two separate shows!! ONE Davey Mac!!  Let's jizz!!

Davey Mac on iTunes!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 23)

  The Giants are going to the Super Bowl!  How much does Jesus love me?!

a.) A lot (27%)

b.) Very little (14%)

c.) He is confused about you, David.  On the one hand, you held the door for an elderly woman at 7-11 yesterday.  On the other hand, you sinfully thought about her old, floppy titties as she walked past you. (59%)

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Davey Mac Sports Program XL- LIVE on Saturday on Sirius XM at 7 PM (EST)!

  Yeah, baby!  The Davey Mac Sports Program XL, the "greatest show since the Hitler Ha-Ha Hour" * is LIVE on Sirius XM Satellite Radio on Saturday at a new, special time- 7 PM (EST)!  One hour earlier!  Which means when the show is done, you'll have an extra 60 minutes to do whatever you want.  I know I can use the time to give more attention to my kidnapping victims, or I can paint erotic pictures of insects; or watch an episode and a third of My So-Called Life!  Or maybe I'll just do all three!!  Yeeeehhaaw!!  Tune in to the Opie & Anthony Channel- Sirius 206, XM 105, at 7 PM (EST) for the "most wonderful experience one can have since eating ears!" **  It's the Davey Mac Sports Program XL!

* Joseph Goebbels

** Jeffrey Dahmer

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 20)

  Today is Jan. 20th.  Which means exactly one year from today, we will be either swearing in a new President of the U.S., or we will be re-electing the current President.  What do YOU think will happen?

a.) Pres. Obama will be re-elected (31%)

b.) A new President will be elected (29%)

c.) Davey Mac will be arrested in the election booth for urinating on the voting knobs and then walking out of the booth and telling everyone he voted for President Piss. (40%)

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Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 19)

  I'm sick as a dog.  I have been sick a lot this winter.  What do you think is the biggest reason?

a.) Not enough Vitamin C. (13%)

b.) Not dressing warmly enough. (13%)

c.) Blowing my germ-infested mucus on my Giants sweatshirt, yet continuing to wear it because the sweatshirt brings me good luck.  But now there is so much snot on it that it has turned from blue to green and I feel that my liquidy boogers are slowly engulfing me; like the story in Creepshow where Stephen King becomes a grass man.  Only replace the grass with snot.   That's me. (74%)

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Davey Mac Sports Program on Ustream- LIVE tonight- at 7 PM (EST)!

I may be as sick as dog who has ticks on him and those ticks have a bad case of tick-flu, but that shan't stop the Davey Mac Sports Program from going on tonight, LIVE, at 7 PM (EST)!!  Just go to the Ustream section of this site to watch the show!  And if you miss it, the program will be posted as always on iTunes and Stitcher.com after the broadcast!!  I'm gonna make it into NYC for tonight's episode even though my mucus has a neon-green-and-purple-plaid color to it (which is quite alarming; though I do think it would make a nice pattern for some sort of Space Scotsman costume)!  I have been sneezing so much that my eyes have gone past watering up, and straight into Slurpee-ing down.  I'm SICK, I'll tells ya!!  But we'll have a good one tonight anyway!!  See you at 7 PM (EST)!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 18)

  I just bought a really old, used car because my last one broke down.  How long will this piece of shit last me?

a.) 6 months (10%)

b.) a year (8%)

c.) It'll last two weeks and then explode suddenly and without warning on the most freezingest day of the God-Damned year and you forgot to re-apply for Triple A, so you're just stuck on some shitty road in the middle of nowhere all because you were reading a copy of Weird New Jersey magazine and you thought it would be fun to look for the albino village.  Well, gues fucking what?!?!  These albinos are now gonna eat you ALIVE, you trespassing piece of garbage!!! (82%)

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Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 17)

  My favorite football team, the New York Football Giants, is playing in the NFC Championship for a chance to go to the Super Bowl.  How excited am I?

a.) Really excited. (23%)

b.) Really, REALLY excited! (31%)

c.) So excited that I have grabbed my New York Giants Pillow Pet and fucked all the stuffing out of it and replaced said stuffing with joyful and triumphant jizzies!!! (46%)

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Davey Mac Sports Program XL on Sirius XM- new starting time- now at 7 PM (EST)!

  Greetings, Dave Pound!  Just a quick scheduling note- the "best show in the world," the Davey Mac Sports Program XL will begin at 7 PM (EST) now, starting this Saturday!  One hour earlier = one hour of more time to get your post-Davey Mac drink on!!  Yeeehhaaww!  Tune in to hear the show, LIVE, every Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio for the show that critics are calling "the show that is so great it makes us fart Beethoven's Fifth!!"  Listen to it on the Opie & Anthony Channel- Sirius 206, XM 105- every Saturday, now at 7 PM (EST)!!  Let's touch the monkey in the "special area"!!!

And thanks to Joe Lyga for this great song:  http://SoundCloud.com/joe-lyga/Davey-Mac-Sports-Program-XL

The Davey Mac Sports Program XL is this Saturday on Sirius XM at 8 PM (EST)! Yeeoow!

  Well, that Gosh-Golly, Jizz-N-Fruity headline basically told you the story!!  Indeed, the "best show on satellite radio," the Davey Mac Sports Program XL is LIVE, this Saturday, on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!!  Tune in to the Opie & Anthony Channel- Sirius 206, XM 105- at 8 PM (EST)!!  Topics include:

* Ben Roethlisberger- now that he's out of the playoffs, watch the fuck out, ladies of Pittsburgh, unless you want a-rapin'!!

* Who would you rather attempt to tickle- Ray Lewis or Charles Manson?

* Lebron James: the Balding-Too-Rapidly expose!

* Is it wrong to fart at a sporting event?

* Animals- if trained, could they be on the PBA?

See you Saturday, homies!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 13)

  It's Friday the 13th!!  Should you be frightened?

a.) Yes, you should be frightened. (18%)

b.) No, it's just a superstition. (14%)

c.) Of course, you should be frightened.  Why?  Because as you are reading this, I am sneaking up behind you!  I'm gonna get you!!!  Ahhhhhh!!       ...Made you look!!  Haha!  I wasn't really sneaking up behind you.  However, I will admit, while I distracted you with my little "sneaking-up-behind-you" trick, I actually have been breaking into your car, which I intend to steal because mine broke down.  So I guess you should be frightened after all, due to the fact that your mode of transportation has just been taken from you!!  Muhahahaha!!  FACE!!! (68%)

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Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 12)

  I didn't shower today because I only got a couple of hours of sleep.  The thing is, I forgot that I didn't shower yesterday (Wednesday) due to me wanting to sleep in.  And on Wednesday I forgot that I went to bed on Tuesday night without showering after working out with my dumb-bells and treadmill.  Does this make me?

a.) A scumbag? (8%)

b.) A dirtbag? (11%)

c.) Not that gross...unless you jerked off a few times in the past 48 hours and let the cummies dry on you and you have done some shites (as the Brits would say) and they were wet ones and you still haven't showered.  You didn't do that, did you, David?  Oh, for fuck's sake, you DID?!?!?!  Oh, shit-fuck, you're a God-Damned mangy animal!!!  You make Pigpen look like a God-Damned neat freak, you fucking unclean bastard!!! (81%)

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Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 11)

  Sometimes I feel like God might not like me.  But then, sometimes I think, no, God does like me.  What do YOU think?

a.) God likes you, David. (62%)

b.) God hates you, Davey Mac. (12%)

c.) God is uncomfortable around you; especially when he is watching you jerk off for the fifty-thousandth time since October.  God finds you to be a very naughty little boy, Dave.  Furthermore, God disapproves when you blow snot on your hand and then wipe your hand on the keyboard at work...a keyboard which many people use.  Lastly, God does not take kindly to your constant yelling of naughty racial words while driving on Route 35 in New Jersey.  Now say 50 Hail Mary's and 50 Our Father's and clean up your act and you may have a chance to be, not necessarily friends with God, but at least friendly acquaintances. (26%)

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The Davey Mac Sports Program- LIVE tonight on Ustream at 7 PM (EST)!

  Indeed, a spectacular episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program will be LIVE tonight at 7 PM (EST)!  Just go to the Ustream section of this site to watch, listen, suck, and fuck to the "best show in the world."  And if you somehow miss it, you crazy little bastard, the show will as always be put up on iTunes and Stitcher.com a couple of hours later!  We have a shitload to talk about- the NFL Playoffs, more Tebow Time, Floyd Mayweather, puppets that have been duct-taped and shall be tortured if they don't give up some names, animals who act like the biggest assholes, dwarfs who have undergone height-change operations, more things you can do with dicks, and falling in love with pudding- is it wrong?  See ya tonight!!  I'll leave you with this morph that one of my "fans" did with me and some guy from Germany!  Later!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 10)

  What's the ultimate, playoff football meal?

a.) A sub (hoagie) (6%)

b.) Wings (2%)

c.) Pizza (6%)

d.) Beer (4%)

e.) Lots of beer (4%)

f.) Lots of beer with some Jack Daniels (30%)

g.) A shit-load of beer, a bunch of Jack Daniels, a couple of pretzels, some pot, a few painkillers, a pack of cigarettes, more beer, maybe a White Russian or two, oh who are we kidding just make s bucket of White Russians that we can devour, let's get some more pot, fuck football...let's put on the Pink Floyd Live At Pompeii DVD, hiiiiiighin'!!! (48%)

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Quick News regarding the Davey Mac Sports Program!

  Hi, folks!  So just a couple of fun things!  As you may or may not know, we had to take down or old iTunes feed because the bandwidth couldn't handle all the traffic due to the amazing popularity of the Davey Mac Sports Program!  But we are happy to announce that a new, better feed is now up!  Yeeeehhaaw!  It also means that you will have to re-subscribe and, if you want to, give the great reviews as you did before so that we are again highly-rated on iTunes.  Go here for the link!

 http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/Davey-Mac-Sports-Program/id493415584

Also, new to EastSideDaveCountry.com is a link to our Libsyn page which has previous episodes.  And in a few months or so, for the first time ever, ALL Davey Mac Sports Program's will be available!  Here's the link to THAT:

http://DaveyMacSportsProgram.libsyn.com/webpage

Lastly, some people have asked me if the Davey Mac Sports Program on iTunes (and Stitcher.com) is the same show that I do for Sirius XM Satellite Radio!  The answer is "No, dogsie!!"  The satellite version, the Davey Mac Sports Program XL, is a separate show that we do, LIVE, on Saturdays!  Check it out!  TWO shows!  ONE Davey Mac!  Here's a link to the Sirius XM page!

http://www.SiriusXM.com/TheOpie&AnthonyChannel

These are exciting times!  I am REALLY excited!  Meaning sexually!  Meaning that I have been typing this whole thing with an erection and you just stood there and watched!  That makes YOU the creep!  In fact, once in paragraph one and TWICE in paragraph three, I touched myself!  That means you participated in Internet Love with the Dave Man!  And I need to tell you something- I am now pregnant with your child!  You better fulfill your responsibilities!!!!

Poll-verizing! (The Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 9)

  What is your favorite hangover remedy?

a.) Doritos (16%)

b.) Slurpee (16%)

c.) Porn (17%)

d.) Farts (17%)

e.) Animals (18%)

f.) Robots (16%)

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Davey Mac Sports Program- BACK UP on iTunes and Sticher.com! Hoorah!

  Hi, guys!  So our new feed on iTunes and Stitcher.com is up and active!  What this means is that gradually we will now be able to release every single episode that we've ever done!  It also means that we need YOU to re-subscribe, give the 5-star reviews (if you so choose) and support the show, since it appears to iTunes that we are a new show.  But eventually, ALL episodes will now be available for the first time so it is a good thing!  Thank you for all your support!  Here's the link, homies, PEACE!  http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/davey-mac-sports-program/id493415584

-Dave

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 6)

  Do you like technology...or has it become more of a hindrance?

a.) It is quite helpful. (15%)

b.) It is getting annoying now. (13%)

c.) Technology routinely fucks me in the ass.  And I mean that both figuratively and literally.  Figuratively it fucks me because my brilliant show, the Davey Mac Sports Program, is down (TEMPORARILY) because we are in the process of getting new accounts and then re-adding all the episodes (which go back to 20-fucking-10!!) to iTunes and Stitcher.com because the show has gotten many more subscribers than our original feed was capable of holding.  And then technology fucks me in the ass literally because when I am in bed at night I swear sometimes I can hear a Robot and his trusty assistant, the Computer, whispering to each other that I will be sodomized when I fall asleep.  And then the next morning when I wake up, my ass hurts as if metal and plastic dicks were protruding it, and I check myself and find little microchips in my anal cavity.  Now how the fuck do you explain THAT, Robot and Computer?!?!  Stay the FUCK out of my house!!! (72%)

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