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I'm not sure if it's the lack-of-sleeping-thing or what, but today I'm hearing what sounds likes screaming butterflies.....shrieking in horror after being chased by one of those insane, net-toting butterfly catchers; who then put these poor little creatures in jars until they go batshit insane and turn back into caterpillars.....or, at least that's what I read in Fake National Geographic On Acid Magazine. Anyway, all tortured butterflies aside, have a GREAT day, Dave Pound!!
- East Side Dave
...And you don't even have to leave this magical Internet playground which is East Side Dave Country!! Just click on the orange DMSP Player link for the spectacular wonderfulness!! The guys discuss Hobbits, Mike Francesa, Neil Young, lunatics, strange Dave ideas, Billy Joel, RebelForce Radio, and MORE!! Enjoy the poop out of it!! It's the now, multi-time, award-winning Davey Mac Sports Program!!
- East Side Dave
East Side Dave: Not Crazy.
Yes. It's the Vader sweater. Not the crazy eyes. Not the angle of the camera that suggests "Insane, Red-Haired, Loose-Cannon Is Lurking". No, it's the sweater. But, I love it. It makes me feel like a Sith. I feel the power of the Dark Side pulsating through me. I might even shoot lightning out of my hands, should someone cross me. OK. Now that statement probably makes me look crazy. But NOT the Vader sweater. Good day to you.
- East Side Dave
I'm sleeping less and less these days. Why? How the heck should I know, doctor?! But rather than making me cranky, I find my sleep deprivation to have a rather euphoric feeling. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to talk to the giant, chocolate elf that is standing next to me and wanting to debate economics. Personally, I feel he doesn't know a God-Damned thing about economics. Bye, Dave Pound.
- David
Who doesn't love "The Simpsons"? If you don't love "The Simpsons", you have farts for brains. No offense, but your brain matter is made up of 100% pure farts. And thus it is with sadness that we announce that one of the show's co-creators, Sam Simon, has died at the age of 59. While Matt Groenig was certainly a major force behind "The Simpsons", Simon contributed iconic characters such as Mr. Burns, Chief Wiggum, and Dr. Hibbert. I once emailed "The Simpsons" a character I created myself: Laurence the Leper, who sells his fallen-off body parts for money. I heard no response. I also came up with the character Murderin' Matt....who was a funny mechanic who killed people. That was rejected as well. Oh, and once I sent in the character Frazzly......a meth-addicted, nervous chap who robbed people to feed his addiction. Again, I didn't hear from the show. Anyway, RIP Sam Simon!
- Davey Mac
It's true, Dogsie Anakin!! The Dave Man is here to restore balance to the galaxy!! OK, ok.....if it's balance you want restored, Davey Mac is probably NOT your man. Nevertheless, Carl & Dave are ready to rock the lava out of your planet on WRAT, 95.9 FM each weekday morning at 6 AM (EST)!! Now it you'll excuse me, I have a Sand Person to slice in half for treating my mom like space-garbage. Peace, daddy.
- East Side Dave
Is it Spring back or Spring forward? I know we do this clock-shifting silliness twice a year for the farmers, but let's be honest, this biannual time-warping issue has a kind of LOST feeling to it. Maybe that's why I'm getting the urge to push a button in a mysterious hatch in hopes of preventing the world from exploding. I'm so confused.....or perhaps that's the mushrooms I inadvertently ate (I thought they were apples). Break on through to the other side, Dave Pound!!
- Davey Mac
The Dave Man is as excited as a chain-smoking dragon who's forgotten his lighter in his dragon-mobile to get back to WRAT after a fantastic Asbury Park St. Patrick's Parade!! We'll see you on the the Morning Rat Race (every weekday at 6 AM EST), my shamrock-loving friends!
- East Side Dave
Well, the Dave Man and the The Watchers have garnered another exalted prize due to sheer awesomeness!! The great RebelForce Radio has given the prestigious Little Debbie Snack Cakes Award to the ol' East Side Dave with this Star Wars photo! Hear the show (our segment comes at around 38 minutes in) with THIS LINK!! Hooray for awards!! Hooray for snack cakes!! May the Force and brownies be with you!!
- Davey Mac
"This is how I look when either: A.) I'm playing with my child's Happy Meal toy or B.) Acting as a CIA interrogator."
This video proves that I could either be a sick toy-tester or shadowy worker for the government. You decide by clicking on this Instagram.com/EastSideDave link.
- Agent David
We crushed it. Pure and Simple. Jersey's one-and-only WRAT, 95.9 The RAT blasted the shillalah out of the excellent Asbury Park St. Patrick's Parade!! An awesome turnout was very welcome as well (and appreciated)!! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some green pee-pee to let out! Top O' The Season To Ya!
- Davey Mac
Good morning and afternoon, my fine friendies!! The Dave Man is hoping to see all you dapper gents and ladies at the Asbury Park St. Patrick's Parade, with WRAT 95.9 The Rat!! We're gonna rock the shillalah out of this shindig and the weather is nice for a cotton-pickin' change!! Join us, O'Pals!!!
- Davey Mac
I recently purchased online the first piece of clothing that I have actually bought for myself in twenty years (bootleg Pearl Jam concert T's not included).....my first, very own, Star Wars sweatshirt! The kind, little, UPS man (who I think was a Jawa) dropped it off on my doorstep yesterday. I plan on wearing this cosmic thing for the ENTIRE month of December (in homage of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, which comes out that month). And then after December is over, I shall STILL wear it every day to see what kind of insidious, galactic stains I can amass on it. May the Force be with you, dogsie!
- East Side Dave
Silent Pancakes. A new short film from Oscar-winning writer & director, Dave McDonald. Starring Hollywood A-Lister, Stanny Mac, Silent Pancakes tells the story of a child and his dreams……of pancakes. Watch this throwback to the Silent Era as we observe our young hero hide from the pressure of being a movie superstar, and then boldly take on the intrusive paparazzi. It’s a story for our modern times. It’s Silent Pancakes.
Saturday mornings are for pancakes. If you'd like some, I'm making a batch right now with my special ingredients. Don't be off-put by that phrase "special ingredients"....it just means a little cinnamon and a pinch of jizz. Anyway, if you're hungry for a plate, please raise your hand as I can see you perfectly via the infrared cameras that I've secretly installed on your computers and smart-phones. Have a great day, dogsie!!
- East Side Dave
If you haven't heard already, one of the greatest actors of all time (yeah, that's right, Laurence Olivier, the Dave Man said it), Harrison Ford had himself a minor plane crash. But fear not!! All is well! Apparently Harrison got banged up a little, but should be just fine. He landed the plane (which was a World War II model) on a golf course a la those FED's watching Joe Pesci from the movie Casino. That's good thinking, Dr. Jones. By the way, I blame Mynocks....chewing on the power cables again. Get well, Harrison!
- Davey Mac
David and homies discuss sports silliness and American insanity. From the March 4th, 2015 DAVEY MAC SPORTS PROGRAM!! Subscribe on iTunes and listen with the DMSP Player!!
I request that you have an excellent weekend, dogsie. I don't have much else to say....except that my pee-pee is coming out purple. Is that a bad thing? Also, my sweat has a yellow-ish hue and I think I'm hallucinating tiny baseball players playing a game on my nose. Anyway, have a good one!
- Admiral East Side Davebar
East Side Dave: He's Insane.
Screw that. Snow-shmow. Blizzard-shmizzard. Winter-smhinter. OK, I've run out of "shm" phrases. Anyway, the Morning Rat Race (weekdays at 6 AM EST) is gonna melt the crap out of the snow on Jersey's legendary, WRAT, 95.9 The RAT!! We will warm your damned hearts, is what we'll do!! Stay safe, DavePound!!
- Davey Mac
...I call it a glimpse into the mind of an emerging Super-Villain/Hero: Little East Side Dave McDonald. Here I am, clearly planning on how to escape from pre-school with my woobie. My idea: to use it as a whip, a la Indiana Jones, swing it up to the air vent, and crawl upwards. At which point, I could take my Fisher Price screw-driver, take out the grate and crawl through the duct to childhood FREEDOM. That is all.
- Davey Mac
