Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 31)

  Who is the worst villain of all time?  (pictured below)

a.) Adolf Hitler (18%)

b.) Osama Bin Laden (17%)

c.) Petey Von Peekums (20%)

d.) Ivan Chunkoluv (22%)

e.) Ellen Degeneres (23%)

The Davey Mac Sports Program beats an animal to death LIVE tonight on Ustream!! (1/30/13)

 

We apologize for starting off this post in such vulgar fashion, but grab your dicks and pussies and bring them THIS EVENING to the East Side Dave Happy Times Channel on Ustream for the Davey Mac Sports Program!!  LIVE at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!!  It's the show that got "East Side" Dave McDonald banned from all future cub scout meetings across America!!  It's the program that forced Chris "Pepper" Stanley into hiding from Colombian drug lords!!  It's the broadcast that made Sean O cover his head with mayonnaise and proclaim himself to be "Cream Man".  And it's the event that gave keyboardist Roy Shaffer finger herpes!!  Tune in this evening at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific, to the East Side Dave Happy Times Channel on Ustream for the Davey Mac Sports Program!!  Shitties!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 30)

  It's only a few days until Groundhog's Day!!  Wooo-hoooo!!!  One of my FAVORITE holidays of the year!!!  What do you have planned?!?!

a.) Are you serious? (24%)

b.) Jack and shit. (25%)

c.) I'm gonna watch the Billy Murray movie and jerk off on your head. (26%)

d.) Fuck off, loony tunes. (25%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 29)

  Today I get my MRI and EEG results from my neurologist, Dr. Song, after suffering from head pains.  What do you think he'll find?

a.) Knowing you, Davey Mac, he'll probably find a poo-covered R2D2 toy stuck in your cerebellum!!  Yeeehhaaw!! (24%)

b.) I think you should definitely be worried, David.  I read recently in LSD Magazine that having intercourse with inanimate objects causes brain cancer.  Goodbye, David. (26%)

c.) You'll be fine, Dave Man!!  I did some tests on you while you were sleeping last night and you're strong as an ox...sure, a dead ox that has perished due to skull-eating lice...but who cares about the details anyway?!  Incidentally, my tests also found that you have the sperm count of a sterile midget.  Good luck! (27%)

d.) Just stay positive, Dave, and try NOT to fart in the waiting room...AGAIN!! (23%)

This weekend's Davey Mac show in the Sirius XM ON DEMAND section! Available Monday! (1/28/13)

  Hey, homies!!  This past weekend's fuck-tastic Davey Mac Sports Program XL will be available in the Sirius XM Satellite Radio ON DEMAND section on Monday!!  Listen to East Side Dave and Pepper talk about the Super Bowl; hear Dave destroy Mike Francesa; witness Dave confess very unholy sins; observe David & Pepper nearly shoot an intern; PLUS- special guests the Torture Twins are in studio!!  AND, the guys uncomfortably solicit and threaten to kidnap YouTube star Miss Hannah Minx unless she appears on the program!!  Enjoy the GREATEST show on Sirius XM Satellite Radio...available on Monday in the On Demand section!!  Peace!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 28)

  Who is your favorite television teacher?  (pictured below)

a.) Mr. Kotter - Welcome Back, Kotter (14%) 

b.) Mr. Moore - Head of the Class (12%) 

c.) Ms. Krabappel - The Simpsons (16%) 

d.) Mr. Chubbly - Fat High (18%) 

e.) Miss Jerkle - Teen Meth Class (19%)  

f.) Senor Roberto - Little Glee (21%) 

This week's unbelievably dick-tacular episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is NOW ready to be downloaded and sucked!! Sweet shit!! (1/24/13)

  Oh HELL YES, fuck-babies!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program (aka THE BEST THING EVER INVENTED) is now up on the Internet (aka the THIRD best thing ever invented...behind black dildos)!!!  Go to RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes to download the show (for free)!!!  Dave talks about the insane Harbaugh brothers, Dave receives a call from the NYPD (LIVE on the air) regarding his stolen iPhone, Roy Shaffer is on cocaine again, and MORE!!  Enjoy the show NOW!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 24)

  I got an MRI yesterday because of a consistent pain in my right temple.  What do you think is wrong with me?

a.) Too much farting (24%)

b.) Jerking off and jizzing on small animals (25%)

c.) Choking out old people and blaming it on teenaged ruffians (25%)

d.) Putting Reese's Buttercups in corpse butts (26%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 22)

  What was your favorite daytime talk show?  (pictured below)

a.) The Phil Donahue Show (14%)

b.) The Dicky Teethers Expose (15%)

c) The Paul Patterson Insane Hour (23%)

d.) The Marsha Williams No Reality Program (26%)

e.) The Billy Weekles Rundown (22%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 21)

  Today is President Obama's second Presidential Inauguration celebration.  Will you watch it?

a.) Fuck NO!  I don't like politics!  PLUS, I'm currently high on bath salts and eating my mailman's face!  Avita zein! (25%)

b.) I don't own a television, David, so I guess I won't see it.  Unless I go to Washington D.C.  But I'm still not allowed in that district ever since I sodomized a chicken on the Lincoln Monument. (24%)

c.) Hell YES, Dave Man!!  It's fucking historic!!  I usually prepare for Inaugurations by dressing up like Thomas Jefferson and jerking off in a 7-11! (25%)

d.) I would watch it...but I'm shoving barbed-wire into my dick-hole. (26%)

Davey Mac & Peppy- exploding LIVE on Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!

 

You know it brothers and sisters!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program XL is LIVE on Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!!  Tune in to The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific for the shit!!  Davey Mac and Pepper plan to KILL the radio and EAT it!!  Fuckin' A!!  Topics for the show include:

* Pee-pee: it's funny to say...but it's not funny to pour it in your dad's nose when he's napping

* Thumb tacks- we'll give you the 5 BEST ways to put them in your dog's ass!

* Master magician Alexander Flash does his most famous trick- "Making That Bitch Of An Ex-Wife Die A Horrible Death And Then Burying Her Awful Corpse In My Friend's Backyard!"

* Legendary baseball broadcaster Jim Tuffy discusses his new memoir- I'm Usually Drunk By The Sixth Inning And During A Double-Header I Once Slapped Around A Mexican Peanut Vendor

* Dave and Pepper invite famous radio personality Cousin Bruce for a game of Russian Roulette...but then all three decide to shoot an intern instead...

* And world-renown scientist Claude de Caliber talks about his new, controversial book about climate change- It's Because Animals Are Farting...We Should Just Kill All The Animals

See you guys on Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!!!  Peace!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 18)

  What was the BEST band of the '60's?  (pictures below)

a.) The Beatles (18%)

b.) The Rolling Stones (17%)

c.) The Doors (17%)

d.) The Gert Jonnys (16%)

e.) The Cooper Family (12%)

f.) Uncle Les & Nancy Wheeler (20%)

This week's INSANE Davey Mac Sports Program is NOW available on RiotCast.com and iTunes!! Dig it!! (1/17/13)

 

Oh YES, puppy dogs!!!  This week's EXPLOSIVE Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is NOW available and ready to be touched inappropriately!!!  Go to RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes to download the show (for free)!!!  Dave, Pepper, Sean O, and Roy Shaffer discuss the fucked-up Manti Te'o story; they chat about Lance "The Dickbag" Armstrong; they sing a song that will most likely be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame; Dave confesses something he did in England when he was 20; and much more sick, SICK shit!!  Go to RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes for the "Best thing that's ever happened to me since I smoked crack while knocked up and got into a brass-knuckles match with another bitch outside of Wawa's!"  - Janelle from MTV's Teen Mom

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 17)

  My iPhone was stolen last night.  Who fucking took it?!?!

a.) It wasn't ME, Davey Mac!!  I was busy taking Quaaludes at the cemetery while jerking off on my grandfather's grave!!!  Ahhhhh!! (25%)

b.) I didn't steal your phone, David.  And I have an alibi- my imaginary friend Thomas and I went to the park to rape a random jogger. (24%)

c.) Don't look at me, Dave Man!!  I was at the library shitting on all of the self-help books!!  That's what they get for sticking their noses in my business!!! (26%)

d.) OK, I admit it.  I took your phone, Dave.  I put it on vibrate and fucked my female dog Felicia with it. (25%)

The Davey Mac Show is LIVE this evening on Ustream!! Be there or be fucking square!!!

 

Oh hell to the fucking YES!!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program is LIVE on Ustream this evening at 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific!!  Go to the East Side Dave Happy Times Channel on Ustream for a show that will leave humans breathless, animals assless, ghosts jizzless, dragons shitless, and cyclops's dickless!!!  Be there as East Side Dave, Pepper, Sean O & Roy Shaffer destroy the universe!!!  See ya tonight!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 16)

  It's raining AGAIN.  Does that depress you?

a.) Shit no, Dave Man!!  The more water that washes the blood and jizz off my hands, the better!!! (25%)

b.) Nothing depresses me, David.  I didn't even shed a tear when I found out that my pet rabbit, Arnie, had died after I fucked it to death. (26%)

c.) I actually LOVE the rain, Davey Mac!!  It reminds me of the time I shat in the bathtub!!  Boy, am I drunk!! (24%)

d.) John Lennon said "Rain is just a state of mind".  Fucking hippie!!!!! (25%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 14)

  I have been sick with the flu.  Help me.

a.) Sure, I'll help you, Davey Mac!!  Just say "cheese" while I fire this DayQuil/NiQuil combination spray from my shotgun at close range!!!  Yeeeeehhahaww!! (24%

b.) I can help you, David, but only with my unconventional medicine methods.  First, take out your dick.  Second, close your eyes while I chop it off. (25%)

c.) Sorry, I can't help you, Dave Man!!  I've got my own problems!!  My landlord is suing me for decapitating his cat!! (25%)

d.) Do what I do, Dave...take some LSD and light a forest on fire!! (26%)

Davey Mac show THIS EVENING at 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific with special guest Ray Wylie Hubbard! LIVE on Ustream!

 

Oh YEAH, daddy!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program is LIVE on Ustream this evening at 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific!!  Go to the East Side Dave Happy Times Channel on Ustream at said time for the happiness!!  Tonight we have special guest, legendary Austin, Texas singer/songwriter Ray Wylie Hubbard, fresh off his appearance on the David Letterman show, hanging out with us!!  Join Dave, Pepper, Roy Shaffer, and Sean O for what's been called "The best show EVER!!!" - Doug "Random Quote" Poopish

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 9)

  What's your favorite Saturday morning cartoon? (pictures below)

a.) Bugs Bunny (20%)

b.) Kip, The Poorly-Animated Vampire (19%)

c.) Titty Man & Friends (21%)

d.) The Retarded Beatles Super Hour! (19%)

e.) Terry- The Mentally Disturbed 10-year-old and her cat Victor (21%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Jan. 8)

  In a television interview, Al Roker admitted that he once pooed himself at the White House.  What do you think of this development?

a.) That's NOTHING, Dave Man!!  I once jerked off in Queen Elizabeth's mouth while she was sleeping!!  That's why I've promised NEVER to eat a handful of Roofies in England again!!! (25%)

b.) I can identify, David.  I once involuntarily chopped off my dick outside of the Lincoln Memorial...OK, fine, it was very much voluntary....and it was in front of a Burger King... (26%)

c.) Well, I don't know about poo, but as I'm taking this poll I'm currently eating the brain of a live squirrel!!!  Yeeeehhhaawww!! (25%)

d.) If I'm not careful, I will often times piss in my own ass due to what doctors call Curved-Boomarang-Penis-And-Super-Wide-Anus Disease. (24%)