Davey Mac will KILL it LIVE this Saturday on Sirius XM at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!!!

  'Tis true, friends.  "East Side" Dave McDonald and Chris "Pepper" Stanley are gonna CRUSH the shit out of Sirius XM Satellite Radio with the Davey Mac Sports Program XL on Saturday and we want YOU to join us!!  Tune in to The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific for the show that is so good, Al Pacino once said, "The Davey Mac show is the most spell-binding experience I've ever experienced!  ...There.  I said it.  Now will you stop pointing the gun at me, David?  Please...I...I have twins..."  Topics for the program include:

* Cannibals or cannon balls?  Which one would you rather have hit your ass?

* World famous carpenter, Hank Chucktank, discusses his hit home improvement show, I'm Gonna Shoot My Wife In The Head With A Staple Gun

* Radio doctor, Lisa Lottinger, dispenses sound advice from her new self-help book- Drinking, Facelifts, Anal Sex, and 17 other things I do every Sunday to stay somewhat sane

* Fingernails- why biting them is better than biting your Uncle Buddy's ear off...even if he IS passed out on the couch

* And A-List actor, Jake Bupple, talks about his new Oscar-buzzed-about movie- Who Farted?

See you guys Saturday on Sirius XM!!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave poll of the Day- Sept. 21)

  I'm going to see Bruce tonight at Giants Stadium!!  (Yeah, I know...it's MetLife Stadium...well not to ME it ain't!!)  Anyway, how awesome is this gonna be?!?!

a.) It's gonna be more awesome than taking some barbed-wire and wrapping it around your dick while you fuck a cactus and get paddled by a board that has rusty nails on it, Davey Mac!!  Signed, Al Roker (25%)

b.) I don't like rock concerts, David.  I went to a Megadeth show once with my grandmother and her head exploded from the noise.  And then Dave Mustaine picked up her brain matter and ate it.  Not cool, Dave. (24%)

c.) I LOVE Bruce Springsteen!!  I once tried to kidnap him!!  Hahahaha!!  I'm not joking!!  Hahaha!!  I don't know why I'm laughing!!!  Hahahaha!!  It's true!!  Hahaha!!  I served nine years in prison for it!!  Hahahaha!!  It's really not that funny!!!  Hahaha!! (26%)

d.) I prefer looking up at the stars and wishing that one day I'm made entirely out of ketchup. (25%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Sept. 20)

  What would $100 get me?

a.) It'd get you a handy and a lollipop, Dave Man, you fucking perv!!!!!!!

b.) I'd be willing to read you poetry while I fart on your head, David.

c.) One hundred dollars would get you a picture of my dog and I...naked in the bathtub...tickling each other...while my cousin looks on...

d.) A hundred bucks will give you a fucking head start before I's a-start shootin', Davey Mac!!!!  Yeeeeehhhaaaaww!!!  Bang-bang!!  Bang-bang-bang!!!  Yeeehhaaw!!!

A new episode of the Davey Mac show online is available!! Let's fuck it 'till it hurts!!!!

  This week's Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is now up and ready to get fucked by YOU, and then have your children, and then tell you that you suck at being a parent, and then say that it wants another baby, and so you two fuck again and---

---what the shit am I talking about??  I have to stop smoking pot before 9:00 AM!!!

ANYWAY, download (for free) the Davey Mac Sports Program on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!!  We discuss Sleep-Gate and Mike Francesa and play some Francesa prank calls, Thursday Night Football, Dave's topsy-turvy life, Roy Shaffer's return from God-Knows-Where, and much, much more!!!!  It's a fucking fun one!!  So get that shit and enjoy!!  Go to RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes and fuck it hard!!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Sept. 18)

  What is your favorite morning news program?

a.) The Today Show (18%)

b.) Good Morning America (17%)

c.) Wake Up and Jizz (20%)

d.) Rise & Shine & Fart & Bleed! (22%)

e.) Cum Time A.M.! (23%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Sept. 17)

  What is your favorite Coen Brothers-parody porno?

a.) Fucko (16%)

b.) The Big Cock-owski (16%)

c.) No Cunt-ry For Old Dick (17%)

d.) Raising Jizzona (16%)

e.) Barton Fuck (17%)

f.) The Cumsucker Proxy (18%)

The Davey Man and Pepper Stan are gonna crunk it LIVE this Saturday on Sirius XM!!!

  That's right!!  We are gonna crunk THE SHIT out of Sirius XM Satellite Radio!!  And, fine, I don't know what the fuck crunk is.  To me, crunk sounds like either a cereal that really makes you shit a lot, or one of the creatures that lives in Jabba the Hutt's palace.  Fuck it.  Anyway, the Davey Mac Sports Program XL is LIVE as always on Saturday on Sirius XM at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!!!  Tune in to The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105) for the sports-crunk!!!  It's gonna rock so hard it'll make you puke!!!  Topics for the show shall include:

* America's favorite actress, Olivia Plop, talks about her new memoir- "I Got Finger-Cuffed Once By Arnold Schwarzenegger And Tom Arnold"

* Ducks- Cute enough to fuck?

* Bath Salts- Dave & Pepper eat them and then eat Cousin Brucie's face off.

* Former Houston Astro Reggie Tickles discusses his new reality show for Spike- Guess How Many Sun Flower Seeds Reggie Tickles Can Fit Into His Dick-Hole?

* Why you shouldn't wear a suit with over twenty jizz stains on it when going on a job interview and eight more easy tips that can't possibly help you!

* And Theology Professor at Yale University, Dr. Albert Shmell, chats about his new thesis- "God Is Really Good At Tetris And A Bunch Of Other Shit"

We'll see you Saturday on Sirius XM!!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Sept. 14)

  What do you think of the whole Libyan situation?

a.) I think they riot like pussies!!!  If we could send our 1992 L.A. rioters over to Libya, we'd clean up that shit-hole in seconds!!! (24%)

b.) The only "Libyan situation" I know of is one that deals with Marty, Doc Brown, and a shitload of plutonium, Davey Mac. (26%)

c.) I don't even know where Libya is!!  But that's only because I'm half-retarded and often call my fingers my "hand-dicks." (26%)

d.) I don't think at all, David.  I'm currently dead.  But thanks for asking, asshole.  Signed, Kurt Cobain (24%)

This week's online Davey Mac show is ready to be listen to and fucked on!!!

  DAMN STRAIGHT!!  A new episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program is NOW up on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes and it fucking hits the ass HARD!!!  We cover New York sports talk host Mike Francesa falling asleep on the air!!!  We discuss the fact that Sean Connery is a Scottish weirdo!!  We unfortunately talk about Brett Favre's pubic hair!!  And much, much MORE!!  Join "East Side" Dave McDonald, Chris "Pepper" Stanley, and Sean O for a historic show where we discuss why the hell our keyboardist and Davey Mac band-leader Roy Shaffer didn't show up this week and why we're gonna cut off his testicles for punishment!!  It's a good one!!  Download the show (for FREE) and subscribe on on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes for the shit!!!  Peace!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Sept. 13)

 

Are you superstitious about the number 13?

a.) Fuck yeah, Dave Man!!!  Once on the thirteenth of October I accidentally chopped off my friend's dick.  OK, fine, it was on purpose.  And, yes, it was my dick.  And, sure, I did it in front of two Russians who swore that they would pay me in bologna sandwiches for the rest of my life if I chopped my dick off.  And, of course, I never got those sandwiches.  Fuck YOU, you Commie bastards!!! (25%)

b.) I am afraid of ALL numbers, David, not just 13!!  I'm afraid of 8, and 112, and even 56!!  I'm also afraid of:  lemons, monkey hair, ear lobes, asses, and water. (24%)

c.) Yeah, I don't like the fucking number 13!!!  That should be fucking obvious, nitwit!!!  Dammit, you should know that, you fucking non-astronaut piece of shit!!!!  Signed, Jim Lovell (25%)

d.) I have no fears.  I once bit the face off a homeless man.  Signed, Bath Salts Billy (26%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Sept. 12)

  Are we gonna have a GREAT day today or what!!!

a.) We sure ARE, Dave!  I've just shaved my dick and am preparing to let it be bitten by a rattle snake!!  Yeeeehhaaww!!! (24%)

b.) I'm gonna have the BEST day ever, Dave Man!!  I've gotten all the chloroform and blindfolds and hard candy ready!!!  Now it's off to the nursing home I go!!! (26%)

c.) I don't think I'll be having a good day, David.  My lips fell off again.  I really need to stop making out with lepers. (23%)

d.) Today is gonna ROCK, Diddy Mac!!!  I'm heading to the Reverse Michael Vick Compound where dogs force football players to fight to the death!!  I got 100 bucks on Ray Lewis!!! (27%)

Davey Mac and Homies- punching it LIVE tonight on Ustream at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!! FUCK yeah!!

  That's right, daddy-baby-brother-buddy!!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program shits on the head of sports, animals, and sports animals THIS EVENING at 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific on Ustream and/or RiotCast.com!!!  Watch the show as we break down the first week of football, farting, Mike Francesa falling asleep on the air, Mike Francesa farting, Davey Mac's mental problems, Pepper's farting, the U.S. Open, and John MacEnroe's farty farting!!!  It's gonna be a dynamite show so join us LIVE, THIS EVENING at 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific on Ustream and/or RiotCast.com!!!  Now let's go have a sandwich and fuck THE SHIT out of some pillows, or blankets, or any kind of bedding in general!!!!  Peace!!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Sept. 11)

  Today is September 11th.  How will you remember this day?

a.) I'll take a picture of Osama bin Laden and wipe my pimple-ridden ass with it!!! (23%)

b.) Well, I'LL take a photo of bin Laden and shit on it AND piss on it and DANCE on it!!! (25%)

c.) Well, I'M planning on shitting on a bin Laden pic, THEN pissing on it, THEN jizzing on it, THEN farting on it, THEN throwing dead animals at it, and THEN burning it!!! (26%)

d.) Well, I'M gonna find bin Laden's body/ashes and fuck them in the ass!!! (26%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Sept. 10)

  What is your favorite part about going to the movies?

a.) I enjoy sitting in the dark and thinking of all the people that I would like to jerk me off! (25%)

b.) My favorite part is the popcorn!  I take it home with me and glue it together to make a popcorn necklace for my wife!  I guess that's why she usually tells me that my "gifts suck elephant dicks." (25%)

c.) I love the trailers.  I just saw one recently for this new movie called "Face-Off In Seattle"...where Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan wear each other's faces.  Come to think of it, I may have dreamt that. (26%)

d.) I hate going to the movies ever since I got a rash on my asshole when I went to the theater once with no pants on and a Twizzler up my ass. (24%)

Davey Mac & Peppy- gettin' HARD on Sirius XM on Saturday at 7 PM Eastern!!!

  Yeah, people!!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program XL is LIVE this Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific!!  Just go to The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 105) for "the best thing that's happened to me since my dick was chopped off!!" - John Bobbitt.  Topics for the show shall include:

* Pushing children into mud- We'll give you the five easy steps on how to do it and not get beaten by their parents!

* Tootsie Rolls: Our in-depth report on why they look so much like Pomeranian shits.

* "America's Favorite Librarian", Ms. Janelle Leopold, discusses her new memoir- I Like Reading Encyclopedia Brown Books While I Put Dildos In Me

* Legendary comedian Chuck Chuckles does his famous routine- Can someone please help me hide my wife's body?!  Seriously!!  I just choked her dead with piano wire!!

* The Fugglin Brothers, Hank and Tank, play their new, hit country song- "I Just Lynched A Pair Of Triplets, Yeehaw!"

* Tissues- why they're good at cleaning up cum

We'll see you homies Saturday on Sirius XM!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Sept. 7)

  What did you think of the Democratic National Convention?

a.) It would have been better if Zombie Lyndon Johnson appeared on stage and bit the head off of Joe Biden.  (24%)

b.) I thought it was great!!  Especially the part where Bill Clinton lit his on farts during his speech!!  Yeaahhh!!  Poo Time, Bill!!! (25%)

c.) I only wish that President Obama had performed a puppet show.  Maybe he could have had a Romney Puppet and a Ryan Puppet suck each other's puppet dicks. (26%)

d.) I didn't watch it.  I'm only into reality shows and there was a Slut-Bag Whores Of South Dakota marathon on Bravo. (25%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Sept. 6)

  What would be the worst way to die?

a.) Suffocating on old person shit. (24%)

b.) Getting tickled to death by Tom Sizemore. (25%)

c.) Having your arms and legs ripped off by singing midgets. (25%)

d.) Getting stabbed in the dick-hole twenty times by Anderson Cooper. (26%)

Davey Mac's "Drunken Given Sunday"- NOW on RiotCast and iTunes!!!

  Shit yeah!!  The Davey Mac Sports Program and The Watchers presents "Drunken Given Sunday"!!  An ode to the movie "Any Given Sunday", football, drunkenness, ribs, Phish Friday's, and LIFE itself!!!  And it's NOW AVAILABLE for free on on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!!!  Just click on one of those links for the most fun you'll have with Al Pacino and Dennis Quaid since the time you saw them finger-cuffing Markie Post!!  Listen for Dave's drunk conversations, Pepper's drunk confessions, Sean O's drunk impressions, and Roy Shaffer's sober reflections!!!  Each one is as disturbing as the next!!  So join us on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes for the "Drunken Given Sunday" show!!  Bam!!!!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Sept. 5)

  With all these shootings going on, should we ban guns?

a.) Fuck no!!  It's my right as an American to own guns and shoot the shit out of 'em and be all fat and high on Meth and jerking off to animal porn while I'm driving my truck down a dirt road at midnight on my way to blowing up an immigrant's house with fucking dynamite!!!  U-S-A!!  U-S-A!! (23%)

b.) Yes, we should ban guns.  And then we should replace them with squirting flowers.  Signed, Kenny The Clown of Kenny The Clown's Squirting Flowers And Other Mildly Humorous Goods Depot (27%)

c.) I don't know what we should do about guns.  I'm always flip-flopping on issues.  One day I'm like, "Hey, I'm anti-gun!"  And the next day I'm like, "Hey, I think I'm gonna shoot Dustin Diamond in the dick-hole!"  Who knows... (25%)

d.) OK, ok, who just shot me in the dick-hole? -Dustin Diamond (25%)

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Sept. 4)

  The summer is over.  Now what do we do?

a.) We could celebrate Autumn by stuffing leaves up our asses!!!  Weeeeeee!!! (24%)

b.) I say we have a Jerk-Off Block Party!  Grill some burgers!  And just jerk the fuck off!!  Who's with me?!?!?! (25%)

c.) What a great summer!  I was only arrested thrice!!  Success!! (26%)

d.) Now that it's Fall I'm gonna find a large pumpkin and throw it at the first midget that I see!! (25%)